I can’t stop thinking of Silvia. Piecing so much together. Feeling hurt. Like, she never wanted to delete her ex from social media while we lived together. I mentioned it to her, she downplayed it. Then ended up eating his dick after abandoning our relationship. Eating his dick while i was in her home, making it more home-y for her. Spending time and money while she was out drunk getting fucked. Then comes back home, fucks me, and i get a bump on my lip that is now forever part of me. I hurt her, but she killed my soul and will never know the extremities of it. Silvia was MY person. MY soul. She spoke things i felt & couldn’t put into words myself. I beyond love her, ‘till this day. Idk how. My heart just beats her. Everything reminds me of her. I can’t be in the Heights, 145, 135, 125, anywhere in Harlem cause it all reminds me of her. Anytime i’m in the upper east side, even worse. People say you have to depend on yourself, but i believe the opposite. The same way we depend on family and close friends, we should be able to depend on significant others. To understand how deep things are. To realize we’re all connected and can’t only worry about our own selves. Our world dependa on procreation but yet we make it seem like living a life alone is perfectly normal. Lets normalize letting others know the raw importance of their presence in our lives. How much of a “glue” they are for us. Silvia told me she wouldn’t know what to do with herself if something happened to Angel, & truth be told, i felt her every word cause she is my Angel.
ellievsbear
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kianamaiart
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