m&m

Me trying to find a way into the circle

“I’m a great reader that never has time to read.”

“….I can’t even talk about you to anybody because I don’t want any more people to know how wonderful you are.”

“You will fall in love with someone who’s cold and always seemingly pushing you away. When all is said and done, they will be forever known as the one person you couldn’t get to love you. Unfortunately, it will hurt and sting worse than the good ones, the ones that chopped up your meat for you and picked out an eyelash from your eye and were nice to your mother, because love often feels like a game we need to win.”

Did you know,  you can quit your job,  you can leave university?  You aren’t legally required to have a degree,  it’s a social pressure and expectation, not the law,  and no one is holding a gun to your head.  You can sell your house,  you can give up your apartment,  you can even sell your vehicle,  and your things that are mostly unnecessary.  You can see the world on a minimum wage salary,  despite the persisting myth, you do not need a high paying job.  You can leave your friends  (if they’re true friends they’ll forgive you, and you’ll still be friends)  and make new ones on the road.  You can leave your family.  You can depart from your hometown,  your country, your culture, and everything you know.  You can sacrifice.  You can give up your $5.00 a cup morning coffee,  you can give up air conditioning,  frequent consumption of new products.  You can give up eating out at restaurants  and prepare affordable meals at home,  and eat the leftovers too,  instead of throwing them away.  You can give up cable TV,  Internet even.  This list is endless.  You can sacrifice climbing up in the hierarchy of careers.  You can buck tradition and others’ expectations of you.  You can triumph over your fears,  by conquering your mind.  You can take risks.  And most of all,  you can travel.  You just don’t want it enough.  You want a degree or a well-paying job or to stay in your comfort zone more.  This is fine, if it’s what your heart desires most,  but please don’t envy me and tell me you can’t travel.  You’re not in a famine, in a desert, in a third world country,  with five malnourished children to feed.  You probably live in a first world country.  You have a roof over your head,  and food on your plate.  You probably own luxuries like a cellphone and a computer.  You can afford the $3.00 a night guest houses of India,  the $0.10 fresh baked breakfasts of Morocco,  because if you can afford to live in a first world country,  you can certainly afford to travel in third world countries,  you can probably even afford to travel in a first world country.  So please say to me,  “I want to travel, but other things are more important to me and I’m putting them first”,  not, “I’m dying to travel, but I can’t”,  because I have yet to have someone say they can’t, who truly can’t.  You can, however, only live once, and for me,  the enrichment of the soul that comes from seeing the world  is worth more than a degree that could bring me in a bigger paycheck,  or material wealth, or pleasing society.  Of course, you must choose for yourself, follow your heart’s truest desires,  but know that you can travel,  you’re only making excuses for why you can’t.  And if it makes any difference,  I have never met anyone who has quit their job,  left school, given up their life at home, to see the world, and regretted it.  None.  Only people who have grown old and regretted never traveling,  who have regretted focusing too much on money and superficial success,  who have realized too late that there is so much more to living than this.

People only tell lies when there is something they are terribly frightened of losing.

Finally, in a low whisper, he said, ‘I think I might be a terrible person.’ For a split second I believed him - I thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. Then I realized that we all think we might be terrible people. But we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.

1. Drink water 2. Take a break from social media 3. Think of 3 things you’re grateful for 4. Love yourself 5. Read a book 6. Practice self forgiveness 7. Write down your goals 8. Be honest with yourself 9. Don’t hesitate to tell someone how you feel 10. Take a nap

It’s been a long time since I’ve been me.

THE MEME IS OVER

i could be anything in the world but i wanted to be his

Nothing’s changed. You’ll go home. You’ll be bored. You’ll be ignored. No one will listen to you, really listen to you. You’re too clever and too quiet for them to understand. They don’t even get your name right.

But in the night he woke and held her tight as though she were all of life and it was being taken from him.

Go inside and listen to your body, because your body will never lie to you. Your mind will play tricks, but the way you feel in your heart, in your guts, is the truth.

I like my life alone. I mean, I love being with friends, and I love kissing and loving someone to pieces. But it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t ultimately start judging you and your choices.