Do not deny the spooky.

Be nice to children.

Don’t be pressuring others into the religion, if they don’t want to hear leave them alone.

Every second Wednesday of each month is Pumpkin Worship, that is when you eat pumpkin flavored things, carve pumpkins, or burn pumpkin spice scented candles. Just embrace the pumpkin.

Don’t be mean to other people for reasons they can’t control, but hey if they are doing it on purpose just to annoy you, destroy them.

No touch other people if they don’t want you to, this includes hair.

Halloween is a holy day, embrace it and become one with the spooky.

Costumes are an everyday thing, but sometimes it can be inappropriate, be aware of when to embrace the spooky and when to just be a little spooky.

Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t be spooky, and if they do tell you then they don’t know what they’re talking about. You can be all the spooky all you want.

Be nice to animals.

Be ready to help others when you can but still remember that you need to put your needs first.

You are spooky, you are amazing, you are fabulous. Say it.

idk but i think we need more, go ask you internet nerd friends.

Dad always knows best

How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.

Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.

Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.

Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.

Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.

Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.

Jealousy is such a diverse thing in my experience. Sometimes jealousy comes in little pangs, you wince, breathe it away and move on. Sometimes it’s not painful, just annoying, like a fruit fly in your peripheral vision. Sometimes jealousy sits deep down, a dull ache, gnawing at you, quietly rotting. Sometimes jealousy pulsates and throbs a little, makes your cheeks flush and fuels your desire. Sometimes jealousy comes like a murderous thunder, your chest feels like it’s exploding, the intensity radiates through you like it’s trying to swallow you whole.

I’m not afraid to admit that I feel jealous often. The things I feel jealous about, the intensity of jealousy I experience, and the way I handle it depends entirely on the situation and the people involved. 

Jealousy can range in complexity from “I wanna go to the aquarium too” to “I want the kind of connection with you that you have with someone else”, so there’s no canned response here. 

Sometimes I just need a good night of sleep and I feel better in the morning. Sometimes I just need to be patient during an adjustment period. Sometimes I need reassurance, and I ask for it. Sometimes I need to distract myself.  Sometimes if I sit with the feeling long enough I realize I’m not really jealous, I’m afraid, so I speak up. Sometimes I need to talk a walk, or write, or do something creative as an outlet for the feelings. Sometimes I just have to cry and say “this sucks”. 

Sometimes I fill in the blanks with my own assumptions and insecurities, and when I talk to my partner I realize I’m feeling jealous about something that isn’t even happening in reality. Sometimes I need time alone to sort my head out. Sometimes I need to ask questions or understand my partners connections to others so I can feel more comfortable. Sometimes I need to reconnect with my partner, and let the things that feel so good between us soothe me. Sometimes I need to vent to another non-monogamous friend or internet pal, someone else who “gets it”. Sometimes I just need to feel jealous, and remember that this feeling will pass eventually. No feeling lasts for ever. 

One of the things that makes me jealous in a lot of my relationships is time. I don’t have a lot of it, my job and life responsibilities are demanding. So most often when I’m feeling jealous it’s not really about the person, it’s about them having more of a currency I lack. 

Stability helps me manage my jealousy. When I understand the landscape, feel secure in my place, and know what to expect I can reassure myself and handle even big challenges. 

Trust helps me manage my jealousy too. If I know I can rely on my partner to be honest with me, if I know I can trust their judgment, it’s easier to talk myself down from jealous insecurities that arise. 

As for processing jealousy, sometimes it helps to substitute another word for jealous and consider the skills you use to process other difficult emotions. How do you cope with disappointment? How do you cope with grieving? How do you cope with frustration, or sadness? Those coping skills usually translate well to jealousy too. These feelings are inevitable in life, just like jealousy, and we all have skills and strategies we use to help ride out the wave and move through them. 

Here are some things that help me to process:

Write down everything you’re feeling (without judging yourself!) and then tear the pages up, or burn them. Even if you just write FUUUUUUCK a hundred times it can be very cathartic.

Make a special date with your partner to soak up some quality time together.

Scream into your pillow, or cry in a hot shower.

If you talk to your partner about it stick to the facts, focus on how you feel, and what can help. Tell your partner what you’ve been doing on your own to manage your jealousy so they know you’re working hard behind the scenes too. 

Get to know the person you’re feeling jealous of, find something you have in common, or something you respect about them. The more human/real my metamours are the less intimidated I am by them.

Cuddle up with your partner and make a list of things that are unique and special about your connection (refer to the list when you need reassuring).

Don’t make yourself feel worse by combing through their social media. If you peek looking for something to feel upset about you will absolutely find something to feel upset about. If you can’t avoid it entirely try “putting it off” for as long as you can. Set a goal to check tomorrow instead of today, or challenge yourself to wait until 6pm to look, for example. Practise self-control even if you’re not all the way there yet. 

If there’s something reasonable that would help you to feel more secure ask for it, don’t expect your partner to read your mind.

Don’t beat yourself up about feeling jealous. It’s a very human feeling and nobody is above it, regardless of their relationship style or experience. 

disappointed hearts don’t love the same twice.”