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  What was love for Remus Lupin? Love was something that felt familiar yet unfamiliar to Hogwarts smartest young lad ever – Remus John Lupin. To be exact Moony always believed no one in his life would love a beast like him, man who transforms into a form of wolf every full moon, he believed he was not worthy of love, therefore he was staying where he was – meaning studying in Hogwarts and being a part of his impish friend group, where his reckless friends would pull otherworldly pranks on people. Now reader don’t think that Remus is innocent in this regard – there is a reason why he is a marauder. You see Remus is the brain of Marauders there is a reason why the boys trust his judgment a lot, while also teasing him here and there.

  Back to the topic of love, for Remus love is unreachable it is something that is divine and out of this world, don’t let his poker face deceive you reader – he absolutely loves the concept of love he simply believes he is too broken and a big of a burden to be loved. At the age of four he was attacked by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback, who was ought to get his revenge on his father Lyall Lupin who called his kind soulless and creatures that deserved death. Because of their feud four-year-old Remus was cursed with a werewolf bite. For years he resented himself and the awful, evil being that cursed him, but luckily, he met three amazing people that changed his life forever in his first year at Hogwarts – James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. However, Remus experienced an unexpected change in his fourth year in Hogwarts – a transfer student from Beauxbatons Academy of Magic a girl named Elizabeth Sterling, as she prefers to be called lizzie for short. The day of her arrival and sorting was the day, my dear reader, when Remus John Lupin took an interest in a ginger haired girl in front of him. After the sorting ceremony, which was interesting as the hat had a particularly hard time deciding where she belonged in, but in the end the hat settled for Hufflepuff, Remus was interested in who she was, but as a typical ‘Moony’ move he decided to stay put and continue his interesting chatter with his obnoxious friends, which mind you couldn’t properly talk due to having their mouths full with food as if they have been starving for decades like a freshly woken up Dracula. Day after the ceremony, Remus as the almighty and perfect Gryffindor prefect was told to guide first year students alongside with his peer Noah Prescott who was a Hufflepuffs prefect to their destinations, during this pretty hectic moment Elizabeth appeared late - all nervous and scared of scolding. Noah the prefect gave her a warning and guided her to transfiguration class, although Miss Sterling was the same age as Remus Lupin, she had to quickly catch up with the fourth-year students over the summer so she would’ve been eligible to attend Hogwarts.

   A little about Elizabeth’s life is that she comes from a family of a muggle born father and a pureblood Beauxbatons Academy of Magic graduate mother. She first heard about Hogwarts when she was 12 years old from her cousin, which attends the school and is in the same house as her, and for years on she has dreamed about attending the famous Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the reason why she was enrolled in Beauxbatons is purely because of her mother and her side of the family. Elizabeth from an early age felt the deep pressure of succeeding her parents’ expectations especially her mother’s considering she was extremely happy to have received a letter from her mother’s dream academy, although over the years till the beginning of fourth year she felt deeply unsatisfied and considered changing schools. The reaction of her parents at first was scary due to their disappointed faces, but over the months she proved to her parents that she is capable of studying their and got the blessing from them by being officially enrolled in Hogwarts. Her first day was pretty hectic due to the fact she overslept and couldn’t find her way out, but during her chaotic moments of getting ready she couldn’t shake the thought of that brown haired, doe eyed boy out of her head. She considered him to be the cutest guy to have ever laid eyes on her, but due to her flawed mind and ability to never stop thinking - brushed it off as a small nothing sorts of interaction. She believed he looked at her because she was a new face in the crowd. Elizabeth stood out with her shy, yet charming personality, her short straight ginger hair and big brown eyes, the second Remus saw her he felt the slight skip in his heartbeat, but just like Elizabeth, he brushed it off due to his overthinking. The day of Transfiguration Elizabeth sat little behind in the class to avoid any unnecessary whispers as she was a fourth-year student who transferred to Hogwarts quite literally out of nowhere. She started to overthink as she saw bunch of students staring at her, but thankfully before she exploded and disappeared in small pieces the none other than Marauders made their dramatic entrance with Sirius and James acting as if they went through a battlefield, whilst Peter looked like he lost his arm and leg, but one particular boy entered the classroom with a quiet breeze. Remus was not fond of his friend’s foolish behavior, but he couldn’t help himself but laugh quietly as he found his seat beside James. As the class was waiting for their favorite professor McGonagall to enter the room, certain people were exchanging discreet looks to each other. Elizabeth Sterling started to feel nervous whenever she looked to see Remus Lupin already looking at her, but him being shy he looked away first.

  When professor McGonagall entered the classroom the usual teaching day has started, which meant students had to focus to learn new spells. For today’s class McGonagall decided to pair students up together to master the Transforming spell, during the pairing James and Sirius were already teasing Remus for his small admiration for the new girl they were making kissing sounds and mocking his face when he first saw Elizabeth, because of their uncontrollable noise McGonagall decided to mix all of Marauders with different people – hence why Remus ended up with a girl like him, quiet and shy, non-other than Elizabeth Sterling. Since Elizabeth was new McGonagall ordered Remus to be her guide and help her out when she needed help, of course Remus agreed and went over to her seat. During the class Remus and Elizabeth got to know each other very well, although it was pretty awkward at first, but throughout the lesson they got comfortable with each other’s presence and had a lot of fun in the class. What they didn’t knew was the fact that three curious friends couldn’t help, but stare at their interaction because to their knowledge this was the first time Remus laughed and smiled with a person, he met less than a day ago, to them this was not only ‘teasing’ worthy, but also a legendary moment made for the history books. After the class their conversation continued in the Great Hall where they soon had to part ways to sit with their representative house. As soon as Remus found his friends and sat with them, he was instantly bombarded with questions on who the new girl was, what was her name, and how did everything go with her during the class, poor Remus had to sit there and endure their endless teasing while answering their most anticipated questions. As for Elizabeth she couldn’t stop thinking about their lovely conversation and the way his eyes slightly crinkled when he found something hilarious and the smell of chocolate, she was actually amazed to see someone be this huge lover of chocolate, but nonetheless she couldn’t help herself but admire his undying love for chocolate. Throughout the week Remus and Elizabeth had a wonderful time getting to know each other and being able to understand each other more, although there was one thing that Remus feared the most which was the upcoming full moon. Because of this Remus avoided Elizabeth for a week straight, which planted some serious doubts in her head. She thought Remus didn’t like her anymore after they got to know each other in the most vulnerable ways, the real reason was unknown to her, because Remus couldn’t risk losing her and tried everything in his power to keep in her in his life, unbeknownst to him his action was actually losing her every single day.

  Due to Remus random disappearance Elizabeth locked herself inside her thoughts and convinced herself that Remus no longer wanted to see her, thus made her more distance after the full moon passed. This situation worried Remus a lot since he wasn’t the one avoiding her now, but instead it was her being cold and distant. Because of this Remus spent days worrying and overthinking it got extremely bad when James and Peter had to calm him down in the middle of the night, because he believed that she saw his true form – his werewolf side. After the excruciating days of silence, Remus decided to directly confront Elizabeth and find out why was she avoiding him like the plague. Of course, Remus being Remus he decided to send her a letter.

“Dear Lizzie,

I’m writing this letter in hopes of getting answers to your sudden change of behavior. I believe I may have been at fault here and I would like to sincerely apologize to you face-to-face so that it is more heartfelt than just reading it on a piece of paper. I wish to see you at the Astronomy Tower tomorrow at 7:00 o’clock. I hope you will come and see me there.

Best regards,

Remus.”  

Upon receiving the letter Elizabeth felt nothing, but anxiety all over her body, she was afraid to hear the ‘truth’ and was ready to end everything if that’s what his heart desired. The day of the meet up has started and throughout the whole day all she could think about was the possible outcomes of their estranged relationship. Truth to be told even the blind could see how foolishly these two were in love with each other it was just them that were oblivious to each other’s hints. The day went fast and Elizabeth was straight on time at the Astronomy Tower like Remus wrote in his letter. However, it seemed Remus was tad bit late due to Sirius annoying stunt that he pulled earlier in the common room. As five minutes went by and he was nowhere to be seen Elizabeth decided to leave when she bumped into someone who smelled just like the guy she was in love with – Remus Lupin. After the awkward bump the two started to talk at the same time, but because of Remus gentleman like nature he let her explain herself first.

“Well since I’m the first one to go, I’ll be honest and say that for the past few weeks I have felt your absence like no other thing before, it made me upset because I believed that what we have or had was very special and It made me feel special. Seeing you pull away from me like I was some sort of plague really hurt my feelings and made me distance myself away from you because I believed that’s what your heart desired.”

“I…I am actually at loss of words. I have never intended for things to go this way, let alone make you feel hurt by what I did. There is something I want to tell you every single day, but the fear that lingers with me at every step of the way stops me from being fully honest. I fear of losing you one day because you may realize I’m not a good guy and I’m not someone who you have in your mind. Truth to be told I am scared of my own self and for the sake of others I push them away, I force them to leave so I won’t see the fear on their face nor feel their disgust towards me.” Remus states with tears covering his eyes because the one person he loves dearly thinks that he purposefully avoided her for the wrong reasons, when in his reality he was protecting her from the beast that lives inside of him.

“Remus…you know you can always tell me anything that may bother you. I mean after all this time that we spend together in the hallways, our shared laughter and deep conversations should give you the ability to speak to me freely about everything.” Says Elizabeth with her heart breaking slowly and painfully while the tears start pouring at the same. Portraying her unwavering sadness.

“It is not that easy for me to talk about this as I said it brings me great pain knowing you will start hating me and finding what I am disgusting as soon as I tell you the truth. I can not risk losing you I am not ready for that pain nor will I ever be ready for that.” With trembling voice, he takes a deep breath and hides his face in shame, because he fears losing the girl who made his days brighter, warmer, and happier. He doesn’t want to lose someone who gets him in many ways, this connection for him is special as he described it to his friends once in the middle of the night “she is like the wishing star, but on earth. Rare to see and hard to let go.”

“Remus you can’t decide that for me!” she raises her voice slightly “I have been wondering for few weeks and asking myself why did he push me away? Was I just a disposable trash that he could so freely throw it away in the bin? Let me decide who you are to me Remus Lupin stop assuming things like I’m just some another person.”

“Fine you want the truth, Elizabeth? You want to know what kind of a monster I am?” says Remus with slightly raised voice while having tears flow down his face just like the rain falling down on the ground. Almost like the nature felt sad for both, Elizabeth and Remus.

“At the age of four I was bitten by Fenrir Greyback as a payback for my father’s words. His bite changed my life because every full moon I turn into a beast, a monster who has to run far away from this school from my friends and everyone that I love, including you, just to protect them because I am a completely different person, I don’t even remember anything from what happens on every full moon. So, merlin forbid that I wanted to keep this a secret because I fear of losing you, because you are the life I needed for so long in my life, you brought me happiness, joy, hell you even got me out of my own thoughts! I am sorry I made you feel this way and I understand if you hate me now because who would love a beast like me? A monster that’s roaming around the school grounds quietly.

“I would.” Says Elizabeth with a softened expression. Yes, she is shocked to hear that out of all people Remus Lupin is a werewolf, but that doesn’t mean he is a bad person, it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t choose to be a werewolf. She takes one step closer to Remus and continues talking in a soft voice. “Remus, look at me. It was never your fault and will never be, you carry a soul that is a one of a kind, what that awful man did to you was never your fault. You aren’t a monster, you can’t control the transition or what the full moon does to you, what matters the most is who you are the person. Remus Lupin, you are the sweetest boy to ever grace this earth, almost as sweet as the chocolate. You posses a rare ability which is your kindness and the love that overflows from you. I will never be able to hate you or find you disgusting all because you are a werewolf. I fell in love with you and every version of you that exists. I would’ve loved if you told me about this earlier so I would have been there for you when you were suffering the most, but nonetheless I am proud of you telling me the truth. From now on please don’t ever push me away for the sake of protection. Let me be the one to help you and guide you through these hard full moons.” Says Elizabeth with tears in her eyes because she couldn’t believe the fact some cruel evil man ruined Remus life at the age of four. He was just a child. Her heart broke more and more, while rain got louder. In front of her was standing Remus who could no longer contain his tears and pulled Elizabeth for a hug. Because for the first time in his life he wasn’t looked at with disgust or fear, he saw love and genuineness in her eyes and that was more than enough for him to officially say – he is head over heels in love with Elizabeth Sterling.

“Thank you.” Says Remus after pulling away from their what felt like a decade long hug.

“I never wanted to upset you because you mean a lot to me. I… I mean you showed me what it feels like to breathe and be able to smile without thinking too much about life. Truth to be told, I fell in love with you the second you walked in the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony. I guess love at first sight is real because I love you more than anything and I wouldn’t let anyone in this world hurt you or upset you. I promise to protect you no matter what.”

“I love you too Remus and I too promise to protect you from everything and everyone.” Says Elizabeth with her tear-stained face because she found out a boy who she never stopped thinking about since the first day of school also loves her back.