Remus Lupin

“I dunno. Maybe werewolves aren’t all their cracked up to the be in the stories. Maybe they’re more like actual puppies…” She trailed off thoughtfully, blissfully unaware that werewolves actually did exist. “For the sake of a POSSIBLE brother, I hope your parents don’t have one. Romulus is boarding on the point of being too strange.” Mary told him with a grin.  Instantly, Mary was completely captivated when hearing about the school. The whole wizarding world was completely and utterly fascinating to her and she didn’t think that she would ever get enough of it. Moving staircases, talking portraits, magical enchantments and a talking hat. It was all so exciting and the cartoon stars were almost clear in her eyes.  “What about the houses? Which one do you think you’ll be sorted into?” Mary, based off what little she had heard about them, was already feeling drawn towards Hufflepuff. Loyalty. Honesty. Kindness. That was about where she felt she belonged. 

Remus grinned when he heard her talk about werewolves, he loved what other people thought of werewolves. Well that wasn’t true, most people were completely horrible about werewolves, including him, but he liked Mary’s take on them. “I wouldn’t describe them as puppies to be honest, they are usually quite horrible and dangerous...”  He blushed and chuckled nodding “I am an only child, and I have to be honest and say I’m quite HONEST for any possible sibling I could have had.’ Remus laughed.

He couldn’t wait to see the school himself, while he had never been there, he did grow up in the wizarding world so he knew a lot about the castle that he was sure Mary wasn’t ever going to know. It had nothing to do with her being a muggle but more with that he had dreamed of going to Hogwarts since he could remember and he had read every single book there was to find on the school. 

“OKAY.” 

Mary liked to believe him. Even if he didn’t look 100% okay, she preferred to just nod along and pretend alongside him. She closed her eyes and nodded a little - laughing under her breath at his offer to check him over. “I’ve learned a few new healing spells from Hestia, in case you need some healing work done on you.” Typically, she’d call in someone to check on him, but she felt better about being able to do it herself.  “I’ll spoil you with food as much as I’d like, Remus.” She called out after he had left, and set out to start pulling things from the fridge. Alright, she wasn’t going to do anything too dramatic. But she was going to cook something fresh for him, and something fun. The fondue pot had come as a gift from her brother as they were currently all the rage among muggles - and melted cheese and bread was always a fun idea to her. She put the cheese in the pot and set it to melt while she carved up a loaf of bread for dipping. 

She was patient, even if she was worried. She focused herself on cooking - constantly stirring the melted cheese even if it didn’t need it. It kept her focused on something. And right now - the cheese was the most non-threatening thing.  She remembered she had dropped her wand, rather suddenly, and parted from the pot to go and pick it up again. Using it to dry her still damp hair, before she pulled it up into a bun. 

Remus let out a soft laugh when he heard her comment about the food, he knew she’d never let it go unless she had no other choice, and to be honest he would love to have a proper meal instead of the meals that he’d had the last three weeks. He had missed everything about her, her worrying about him, her smiles, her hugs, her kisses.. hearing her voice was the worst of it when it came to being away from her. He hated not hearing her voice. He’d become so used to hearing it over the past 7 years that it wasn’t real not to hear it when he was gone.

He got into the shower, knowing he’d feel a lot better when he was clean and smelled better than he did currently. He knew that she’d eventually see the gash on his side, but he would do his best to hide it from her to stop her from worrying. Perhaps that’s what made it worse, that she wasn’t with him was one thing but her having to see him battered and bruised when he came back from a mission... that’s what made it worse.

She didn’t care one bit that he was dirtied from the woods. She was just HAPPY that she got to hold him once again. And feel safe again. “It’s okay.” Mary assured him when he apologized about surprising her. “It was the best surprise I could have asked for.” She told him with a small laugh.  Mary relaxed in his arms, only for a few moments longer before she stepped back. This time, she looked him over and he wasn’t as okay as she would have liked. Instantly, her shaking returned - and her unsteady hands cupped his face, wiping smudges of dirt from off of his cheekbones. “Least… Least you’re still in one piece.” She’d prefer him coming back BENT instead of BROKEN. 

But, she didn’t think she’d ever STOP being worried about him and the state that he came back in. Mary closed her eyes for a moment, bringing his face towards hers as she leaned her forehead against his. “Assuming you’re not bleeding too bad under those bandages, how about you go take a bath and I’ll make you something REAL to eat?” He deserved that much. He needed a night in to calm down and relax.  “And before we eat I’ll bandage you up proper.” Mary added as an afterthought. 

Remus took hold of her hands and smiled, wishing he could stop her unsteady hands from being unsteady whenever he came back in a state like this. “I’m okay, I promise.. I’m hurt yes, but I’m alive, more than alive.. I’m back here with you, okay?” He smiled and stroke her cheek, kissing her forehead. “I’m okay.” He nodded and kissed her nose as they rested their foreheads together. “I’ll look a lot better after that bath, and then I’ll let you do a proper exam of how I look, good?” He smiled and winks. He was so good at playing down his injuries. That came with years of pretending he was fine after he had nearly died of self inflicted wounds due to the wolf.

The first night was always the hardest. At least, that’s what Mary told everyone else when it came to the matter. Not having him pressed up close to her when she fell asleep, and not seeing him still sleeping by her side when she woke up was the worst of it all - she’d affirm whenever someone asked her - but she got used to it, she’d say. She’d miss him, but it wasn’t like she was SCARED for a moment every morning when she woke up to find him missing.                        But that was a lie.  As each day stretched on, the fear that bubbled in her stomach only grew stronger. She tried to distract herself with everything she could. Throwing herself deeper into her work at the Ministry, although the DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL LAW ENFORCEMENT hardly meant nothing these days with how horribly corrupt the system was. But it was a distraction - and Mary would take as many of those as she could get.  The rest of her time was spent, as frequently as possible, with the members of the Order who hadn’t set off yet. Even if she wasn’t OFFICIALLY part of the team, Mary cared deeply about all of those involved, and was let in on their secrets. ( For a while, she was even the secret-keeper of the safe house. An honour which she had proudly accepted. ) She relied on those people heavily, not only for protecting witches and wizards like her, but to keep her calm while Remus was away. Even if they couldn’t stop the nearly constant jittering in her fingers and how she had to make sure she was actually breathing.  But, she couldn’t always be in their company. And for the first time, she was glad she wasn’t. At the sound of the door opening, she gripped her wand. She was in their bedroom, her hair still damp as she had just come out of the shower, and she tiptoed towards the door. She didn’t want a fight, but she’d be DAMNED if she didn’t prepare herself for one. Her knees shook - and nearly buckled at the sound of HIS voice. 

Her wand clattered to the floor, and her next movements were so quick she hardly remembered making them. One moment, she was standing in the doorway, terrified - and the next, her arms were thrown around Remus as she held onto him. She stood on the tips of her toes to be more on level with him as she buried her face into the crook of his neck and breathed him in. This was the moment she needed, that buried all of her worries away until the next time he’d go.  “Hi. I missed you. I love you.” She told him in one breath, her voice muffled against his neck. 

He hated leaving her alone in the house, he knew how worked up she got when she had no idea what was happening. That wasn’t just about him but about all her friends that were in the Order. He hated that she wasn’t able to be part of the Order like he had wanted her to be from the start. He hated that he wasn’t able to help her more, to make sure she was okay. He got a big smile when she walked downstairs and pulled her in his arms, holding her so close. He didn’t even care that he was hurt and that he was covered in the bandages he had put on himself quickly so he would be okay to travel. At that moment all he cared about was holding her as close as he possibly could. He breathed in deep, taking in her familiar scent, the scent that lingered in his nose but wasn’t any longer on his clothes.

“What are you, a WEREWOLF or something?” She was joking. But in a few years time when she found out the truth, she’d be flashed back to this moment and profusely apologize. “I know, I know like… Logically, it just wouldn’t work. People are just terrible but… It’d be nice to imagine a world of peace.” She leaned back away from the window, settling into the seat and looking at him curiously. Not in the position to travel much? She furrowed her eyebrows, but figured it better not to pry. She did just meet him after all. “One day, Remus, I will personally take you to Paris.” Mary told him with a bright grin.  She kept that promise, during the summer of fourth year. It was only two days - but it was a wonderful trip nonetheless. She’d do it over and over again; purely because it was incredibly ROMANTIC.  “So what do you think school will be like? I’m gonna assume that you know a lot more about Hogwarts than I do.” She scooted forward on the seat until she was sitting on the edge, she leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees and cupping her face.  “Tell me all about it, Mr. Lupin.”

“You should consider yourself lucky, Remus. You’ve got INTERESTING names in your family. I’ve got Charles and Josephine. And then my siblings Nicholas and Wendy. All completely ordinary and uninspired names. I can’t even tell you how many Mary’s attended my old school.” She scrunched up her nose a little bit. “But, I’d be willing to bet that you haven’t met another Remus. And that is why you are incredibly lucky.”  She watched him move and put up her trunk, admittedly impressed by the ease in which he did it. She gave a slow nod of her approval with a bright grin flashed his way. “Well, thank you.”  She hummed a little bit. “It’s a shame that we can’t ‘expose ourselves’ or whatever non-sense. It seems almost selfish to keep such incredible gifts and abilities hidden from Muggles. We could be helping them rather than hiding from them!” Mary mused. But, she understood that there was much more to it other than the ease and simplicity. What had yet to learn was what actually made it impossible to share.  “If it makes you feel any better, I don’t know a lick of French either. But I’d love to see Paris one day.” She looked wistfully out the train window. The engine starting up, and slowly the train begun to move. Thoughts of the carriage were immediately pushed away as Mary pressed her face against the window, watching as the people passed by until light broke and she was able to see the city. This was the moment, her eyes bright and wide, the grin on her lips larger than ever. 

mary & remus 

“Remus Lupin,” Mary repeated his name with a hum. “Quite a name you’ve got. Never heard anything like it–” A pause. “– I love it.” “Could you?” She asked him with regards to him moving her trunk, the question decidedly less excited, but thankful. “I mean, if you could. I don’t want to put you out or something.” But she looked up, and it appeared he had gotten his own trunk up just fine. Hers couldn’t be that heavy, after all. Mary pulled her feet off of it and tucked them underneath herself so he’d be able to move the trunk, should he decide to do it.  Mary, meanwhile, continued the ponder the thought of the train flying. “I mean, had I made the choice of how wizards got to and from wizard school I’d pick a flying train. I mean, doesn’t practically every other method of magical transportation involve flying? Why stop at a train?” Mary questioned with wide eyes and raised brows. It did seem rather ridiculous to travel by normal train, when she thought about it.  “Beside, ‘s’not like Scotland is really that far away from London. I mean, can you imagine if we were taking the train to say… France? We’d have to travel underwater!” Which lit up her eyes much brighter than flying did.

Mary, in a few years, would adamantly insist that she fell IN LOVE with Remus Lupin the moment that she laid eyes on him, but that really wasn’t the case. She noticed the scars, and had enough sense about her not to comment on them as she shuffled her way in. Deciding not to attempt to lift her trunk, she pushed it in front of the bench, sat her owls cage down and sat herself - her feet resting on top of her trunk pushing up her knees a little too far to be comfortable. But she didn’t complain.  No, instead Mary leaned towards him her hand extended with her smile unleaving on her lips.  “I’m Mary MacDonald. Uh, Muggleborn - I believe the term is, and incredibly excited to be here. Does the train fly?” She spoke quickly, a habit that would soon die down along with her nerves. But for now, she was practically bouncing in her seat with how eager she was to finally get there. “Oh! And I’m a first year, but I suppose you’ve figured that one out, yeah?” 

“I’ll be FINE.” Mary promised her family, hugs going around one by one as she grinned up as the scarlet engine. She had been waiting on the balls of her feet to jump onto that train since the moment she had found out she was a witch, just a few months earlier. Wendy stood beside her, her hand on her sisters shoulder keeping Mary grounded so she wouldn’t bound off towards the train.  “Now remember,” Her sister began wisely. “Whatever happens out there, you’re still one of us, yeah?” She was teasing, really.  “No matter what cool WIZARD TRICKS you learn. You’ll always come home and be our little Marebear.” Nicholas added, coming up to Mary’s side and pinching her cheek, she pushed him away with a dignified scoff. Before her resolve dissolved and she wound up hugging her brother tightly again. Her sister, and then her parents once more.  “I’ll miss you all!” Mary assured. “And I’ll write letters.” She promised, her owl ( Persephone ) hooted impatiently from her cage and Mary rolled her eyes. “Oh, hush you.” She grinned proudly, picking up the cage and the handle on her trunk. She was thankful for the attached wheels. She nodded in goodbye, before making her way up towards the train.  An older student aided her in getting her trunk aboard, and she thanked them profusely, before she set off down the tight hallway of the train. Cabins lining either side with students of various ages getting settled and talking among themselves. Around the middle of the train, Mary spotted a cabin which contained only one student - a boy she supposed to be about her age. She took in a breath, puffed out her chest, and pushed open the door.  “Excuse me,” Mary greeted. “Mind if I join you?” She asked, a proud grin spread across her face. 

Remus had never expected that this day would ever come. Ever since that horrifying night 6 years ago when he thought his life would be over, this should never have come. He wasn’t supposed to be allowed into the school let alone even getting on the train to go there. He had half expected that after Professor Dumbledore had shown up on their doorstep that when he’d wake up the next morning it would all have been a dream. But then the next morning had come and it wasn’t a dream, it hadn’t been anything like a dream anymore. He, Remus John Lupin, was going to Hogwarts school for Witchcraft and Wizardry and he would really be able to learn all that his father had learned as well. All that his father had told him about and all that he would be able to use when he would become off age. Nothing had been able to prepare him for the rush of Platform 9 and three quarters though, NOTHING. Remus looked around shyly before lifting his trunk onto the train. He knew he was allowed to bring an animal to school but animals didn’t really prefer the company of him and so he had come without. He looked back at his parents and send them a reassuring smile before heading inside and trying to find and empty compartment. It didn’t take him too long, it seemed as though most students hadn’t gotten onto the train yet as he found an empty one nearly immediately. He lifted his trunk into the overhead storage and sits down, looking outside and taking a deep breath,  it was really happening.

James sighed, dropping his chin onto the palm of his hand with a sour look. “The owner’s very nice though…” he went on and apparently that was too much chatter for the library, because Madam Pince sent a thoroughly venomous glare his way. James preferred to think it was meant for the overly passionate couple over a few tables who really should have taken their affections elsewhere. Preferably somewhere not public.

“Merlin, I’m going to fail all my practical exams.” he said as he directed his sight onto a large stack of books on top of the table and the heavy note-filled notebook in front of him. “Memorising this crap isn’t exactly difficult, but I’m just so tired! I’ll fall asleep in the middle of the examination room, on top of some fragile old lady and after they’ve hospitalised me for lack of sleep they’re going to put me to Azkaban for unintentional murder.”

“People are always going to be rude no matter where you go though, but yeah I’m glad the owner was nice though, why anyone would be rude to you, unless you were rude as well, I will never understand.” He smiled, he honestly didn’t understand as James was his best friend and he had never not been kind to him as far as he could remember. He looked at Madame Pince and shot her an apologetic look no matter if the glare was meant for them or for the couple on the next table over.

“No you won’t fail them, Prongs, you’re one of the best in our classes. Not only that but you work harder than anyone I know when you set your mind to things. We’ve got this. We will get ourselves through this you know we will.” He snorted at the dramatics his friend was telling, “I doubt you will kill anyone, perhaps the hospitalization will happen, but not Azkaban. They save those for the really bad criminals.” He grinned.

Hogsmeade in winter- Mary was certain it was one of her favourite trips of the year. The street just seemed to be much more homey and lively with the blanket of snow draped across it. The day was almost picturesque with the steady falling snowflakes and people moving around bursting with laughter and post-Christmas cheer. And the group of Hogwarts students whom Mary found herself embarking on this one-day trip with was no exception to that.  She had taken as many photos as she dared, before she risked running out of film. Her camera now stowed away safely in the messenger bag which bumped against her hip with every step she took was her prized possession and she hardly went anywhere without it. Even if her constant use of the device was a nuisance to her friends.  Speaking of such friends; she hadn’t seen most of them ( aside from one ) in at least an hour. Last she recalled, Lily, Frank, Alice and Peter wanted to pick up some books from Tomes and Scrolls, James and Sirius had headed off towards Gladrags Wizardwear, and Marlene and Dorcas headed off arm in arm towards the Three Broomsticks to grab some drinks. All of this, leaving behind Mary and Remus in the middle of the street. Something of which Mary was far from complaining about.  The past hour had been spent with the two of them in Honeydukes- because, believe it or not, there was far too many candies to check out to have the exploration of the store completed in less time than that. Especially when they came around to the chocolate section. There, Mary was more than willing to have Remus explain to her every bit of information he could muster about every single piece of chocolate. 

They had been in Honeydukes for the past hour and while he loved browsing around the shop to see all the different kinds of sweets, he basically came to the shop for just one thing. Honeydukes chocolate had always been his favourite kind of chocolate, even when he was a little boy. His father would often bring the chocolate home when he came back from missions. They were always a treat to Remus who had been rather obsessed with chocolate from that very young age. It wasn’t that the obsession had ever gotten less, no not at all. Some would say, his friends in particular, that the obsession had gotten so much worse that sometimes Remus wouldn’t go a day without consuming at least two or three bars of chocolate. Now that would be a problem for most people because of course chocolate was said to be healthy but to eat too much was never good, the fast metabolism that came with Remus’ condition made up for that. Which of course he was grateful for.

When Mary asked about the differences between magical and muggle chocolate, Remus couldn’t help but dive into the explanation about the difference between the two. “Some would say that muggle chocolate is made in the magical factories, which I think it just a fairytale.” Remus grinned and looked at her, “Muggle chocolate is made in muggle factories and while the chocolate itself is a magical thing on its one, it’s definitely not the same and doesn’t even come near one another.” He took one of the bars out from the shelf and held it up to her. “This seems like a regular milk chocolate bar doesn’t it? But the Honeydukes factory where these are made, they add a bit of chocolate beans from Columbia, while the other is mostly chocolate beans from Peru.” Remus puts the bar back and looks around, “Plus the fact that the magical bars have so much more flavours, I mean you’ve got your regular white, milk and dark, but you’ve got banana, chili, peppermint, strawberry.. You’ve even got bloodpops and sugarquill pieces in the bars. They’re so much choice.”

The two of them in the library was not an unusual sight at any rate. Out of all James’ friends Remus was the best study partner. Sure, he and Sirius tended to bounce off crazy ideas off of one another, but he was far too distractable and Peter was far too fidgety. Marlene had better things to do than spend her entire day in a library of all places. Remus, however, had the whole study thing down to a T, which was why James had chosen him to spend the day with. With no more than two weeks until OWLs, he had become more jittery than usual, obsessed with achieving perfection. Mostly, he’d shut himself away from everyone, in order to have exactly zero distractions, but he had, early in the morning run into Remus… or perhaps his friend had planned it as James had forgotten the Map onto his bedside table for a few hours as he slept. He’d pinched it almost two months ago just to make sure his secret obsessive study sessions in various places over the school would go unnoticed and left enough false trails of a torrid romance and a five different gambling debts to distract anyone from his true course. Of course, his friends were intelligent and would undoubtedly figure something out, but it had been fun nevertheless.

And okay, it wasn’t that he thought studying was shameful. Of course he would do some studying for the OWLs, but… He fucking needed all O’s alright? And he would give his all to get them, because he was a Potter and that meant high standards. No matter how clever, how resourceful he was, he needed more. More research, more… everything. And it had become a sort of an obsession at this point. An obsession he didn’t feel like admitting to his friends, because none of them had someone to impress on that level. He figured Remus would absolutely give his best, not because of appearances, but out of principle, which James had always admired about him. Peter would do his best and it was heartwarming to see him succeed, despite the fact that his three friends were more talented. It was the fact that he tried, that was so great about him. And it wasn’t as though he was a disaster. If he’d been surrounded by anyone but the Marauders, he would have been seen as an excellent student. His modesty was fascinating and absolutely admirable. Sirius would go for an O in Muggle Studies, just to see the faces of his parents, which undoubtedly was a sight to behold and if James were in his situation he would have done the same, but James’ parents… Well, they loved him. And James loved them despite their oddities.

Dorea was demanding, sure. She was the kind of a woman who expected nothing less than perfection from his son. She was a Black after all, and despite James’ strange feelings that she preferred Sirius to himself, she always showed her love. She was also a very reserved sort of a woman, which often made her seem cold hearted to strangers, but she treated every single one of James’ friends as her very own blood. James had almost begun to wonder whether he’d missed some blood adoption rituals, because the Marauders and Marlene, because she could never have been excluded, were as welcome in the house as James himself. Indeed, just this summer he’d seen Dorea have her classic stare off match with Remus, that was usually reserved for James himself or the woman's’ husband.

Speaking of whom, Charlus, who’d always had a stranger sense of humour, definitely enjoyed the company of the younger generation. While James’ mother was a definite authority figure, his father was someone more relaxed, but also someone with a more complicated personality. Dorcas had once suggested James read some muggle classics and suggested Pride and Prejudice to him, which he unabashedly enjoyed. He could draw a copious amount of parallels between his father and Mr. Bennet, which he had excitedly shared with her the first chance he’d got. Dory had found it hilarious and teased him about being Miss Eliza Bennet. Well, maybe he was. He just needed to find his Mr Darcy.

Either way, his father was the man to strike up a conversation with any of his friends while low-key mocking them for every single thing they said. It frustrated Peter, that was certain, but James figured Sirius and Remus handled it fairly well and despite everything, they were all included in the in-jokes and the ruthless mocking of strangers. It had always been a tad distasteful, but the Potters had always been different from everyone. The opinions were differing, though. Some claimed they were too modern with their adoption policies, others claimed they were sort of barbaric with their indulgence in a few carefully chosen blood rituals that didn’t require a blood sacrifice, and that was pretty modern in James’ mind to be honest. No one died, ok? Most of the time. Not against their will, at any rate and that was the whole point.

“I know it’s not your birthday,” James said after a long silence in which he’d made the most noise out of the two of them. He couldn’t help but be a little nervous. He’d been second guessing himself for the past four months. “And it’s definitely not Christmas – at least I hope it isn’t – but I got you this.”

He pulled out a soft-looking package, wrapped in brown paper and decorated with a lovely blue bow. James slid it across the desk, lips twitching into an involuntary smile. “I was in Hogsmeade looking for something warmer for the winter – you know me, always wearing impractical things my mother’s collected over the years – but then I saw this and I thought of you.” He grinned, almost sharklike. Inside the package there was a fluffy soft pink sweater with a fashionable wolf on front. James did think for a moment Remus might resent it, but it was a wonderful design and he figured even he couldn’t help but adore the irony. Plus, the light grey and pink looked magnificent together. “Tell me to fuck off if it hits too close to home; I’ll get you something else instead. Because, y’know, you totally deserve it.”

Remus himself carried around a rather big binder completely filled up with all the subjects he was taking OWLs on, which to be fair were admirable amount of classes. He was still grateful to be studying at Hogwarts even with his... condition, he didn’t want to disappoint Professor Dumbledore by taking the mickey out of his work and his exams. Remus thrived for the highest grade there was to achieve. That didn’t mean he would get there as he would be the first to admit that he wasn’t the smartest out of their group of friends. Perhaps he was one of the ones that worked the hardest, like James did, but he was certainly not the smartest, that was okay though. 

It came as a surprise when James handed the present and looked up at him in surprise. “No it’s certainly not Christmas or my birthday as that will be in another few months, but thank you?” He took the present carefully and looked at his friend, “What did I do to deserve a present?” He smiled before opening the package. He frowned when he noticed a fluffy pink jumper, he loved jumpers but wasn’t sure if pink would be his go to colour. He burst out laughing when he saw the wolf on the front and looked up at James once again. “While I should be totally resentful because of the design on the jumper, I know you didn’t mean it that way. I will wear the hell out of this, Prongs, thank you.” He let out another laugh and got from his seat putting the jumper on.