GO GIANTS

the world seems to tilt beneath her feet. one second she's standing there in the crowded auditorium, annoyed and slightly drunk because of how much it hurt seeing benny laughing with someone else and the next— she's staring at her phone screen like it's entirely capable of ruining her life with every passing moment. it comes to the point, she can't stop looking at the pictures. she knows she should. but, every instinct in her body is screaming at her to throw the phone with them on it across the room, to run, to disappear, to wake up and discover this is some horrible nightmare brought on by the drugs still circulating in her bloodstream. yet she can't. her eyes stay glued to the images and comments as they multiply by the second.

she recognizes every picture, every message. every moment she'd trusted somebody with a version of herself she never intended the rest of the world to see. and now they do. everyone does. all around her, people are whispering. though some aren't even bothering to do that. they're staring openly, even shamelessly at her, with their phones raised as screenshots spread through social media faster than she can comprehend. she ends up catching a few pieces of conversations floating through the auditorium. the words: rehab, slut, and whore all land like a punch to the gut.

she feels sick. but, not the kind of sick that comes from any alcohol or drugs. the kind that starts somewhere deep in your chest and spreads outward until your whole body becomes poisoned by it. she barely notices benny draping his jacket over her shoulders when it happens. not until the weight settles over her shoulders. the leather is warm from his body heat and smells faintly like him. somehow, that simple gesture nearly breaks her more than the comments percolating ever could. because, he was still being kind to her. even after everything she put him through this last week following the carnival and her visit to the hospital.

it takes her a moment before brooke grips the front of the jacket with shaking fingers and forces herself to look away from the screens surrounding her. though, the problem is that everywhere she looks, she finds another set of eyes on her. another reminder that there's no putting a lid on this. a lump forms in her throat when benny gently lifts her chin. that's when she finally looks at him, spotting the concern scribbled across his face. "why are you still being nice to me?" she knows she doesn't deserve it. he should just let her wallow and rot in her shame. "i.... i don't understand...." she lets out a weak, strained laugh that borders on a sob. "i hurt you. you're supposed to hate me." the words taste bitter as they come out, but that doesn't stop them.

brooke swallows, finally, before glancing toward the phones, the dozens of people eagerly consuming one of the worst moments of her life like it's an episode of love island. the tears she'd been fighting finally begin to blur her vision completely. "people usually leave when things get ugly. that's how this works. they stay when you're fun, but the second things go wrong... they disappear." he hasn't though. he never has. he was always there. eager and willing to save her from herself.

"for the record, i don't hate you." his deep and raspy voice carries a quiet gentleness that contrasts with the tension around them. he doesn't know what to say to make the situation better, because quite frankly nothing will. however, what he can do is reassure her that not everyone in riverwood is unempathetic and immature. benny got a glimpse of the pictures but he'll never look at them again. they were private and not meant for him to see. no matter how beautiful she is, he'd never ignore her inability to consent to being seen that way. he can't even begin to imagine how humiliating and violating this must be for her. anyone participating in looking, saving, commenting, and sharing those photos are just as complicit as the leaker.

"just because we're no longer together doesn't mean my feelings changed. they were never contingent on you feeling the same way." as much as he wished she felt the same way, he knew she didn't owe him her love. that's one of the obvious problems he's noticed in the people of riverwood. they count favors and demand things in return. he's not helping brooke hoping she'll love him back or see him differently. she can continue pushing him away, it won't make him cold towards her.

"the way people act around here isn't normal, you know? when you get to new york, you'll see." benny says it like its matter-of-fact. he believes in her dreams and knows she'll do big things after she graduates. "it's like baseball at trinity. the guys think they're superstars. i mean, the school celebrates them like they're celebrities. they do whatever they want, take whatever they want. they expect a certain kind of brotherhood from the team. we're supposed to stick together no matter what. even when one of us is wrong. i've fallen into some bad patterns with them. partying. drinking. using my batting average to get out of trouble. but there's a line some of the guys cross that i won't. stuff like this—the bullying, treating girls like sex objects. the point i'm trying to make is, you can have fun. you can party and enjoy your life, but don't ever lose sight of who you are. these people don't define you. and you don't want to blend in with them because some of these idiots are going nowhere. not you though, never you. brooke maddox will be a household name, mark my words. and when you take over the big city with those dimples and that charm, all these sheep will suddenly be like, oh i went to school with her. oh, we were friends. screw 'em. karma is becoming successful while they stay here and rot."

"that's what i'm afraid of," she admits, after he promises to listen regardless if it hurt. especially if it hurt. because it was never her intention to hurt him at all. that's not what she wanted, or she ever set out to do. it's just what... happened.

eventually, brooke lowers her gaze, only to stare at her hands for another moment before slowly crossing the room. so that they were no longer standing so far apart but toe to toe. just in case she wanted to reach out and touch him, which she's thought of doing multiple times now. "i love that you see me like i'm this person that's going somewhere. like i'm one day gonna conquer the world and build some fashion empire in new york, while proving to everyone who thought i couldn't do it, they were wrong." although it isn't funny, a humorless laugh escapes her. "it sounds nice. it's my dream." but, it wasn't her only one. and she realized that recently after talking to tyler. he got under her skin a lot but, he also illuminated things for her without even meaning to. even after trying to destroy them.

"but it isn't my only one." her throat tightens as she looks at him, as she examines his wet t-shirt, and the way it forms to his body so that she can see everything. sure, she's caught glimpses of him half naked before but never like this.

behind her, the rain taps softly against the windows reminding her of their time together in rehab, and the night they both almost died because of some tornado. rain had a way of inserting itself into their relationship when they needed it the most. water was pure, it brought clarity and togetherness. "when i broke up with you," brooke began, "it wasn't because i wanted to. or that i even thought about it much beforehand." at the start of her confession, brooke closes her eyes. she isn't sure where this is going or where her words were going to take her. all she knew was that, she was tired of pretending. tired of lying. so, slowly, she opens her eyes back up. "it was because of tyler." she knew his mind would jump to conclusions, so brooke didn't wait long before elaborating. "he told me i should. he basically, convinced me it was my only option. not that i believed him but, he made some valid points. about how your life would be so much easier and less complicated if i wasn't in it anymore." recent events stood as proof. brooke was currently being scarlet-lettered because of some nudes she sent to their teacher over a year ago. it was because of her, he kept getting tormented and targeted by her friends. she even blamed herself for him getting stabbed at the carnival. even if she couldn't prove it was her fault.

if she hadn't left him alone, maybe it wouldn't have happened. "you keep asking why i left, why i ended things and have been pushing you away. why i keep insisting you're better off without me." she shakes her head at the thought. "every time you asked, i lied. maybe not completely but, i never told you the truth." there's another pause, this one longer, heavier. "the truth is.... i wasn't doing it to protect myself or because i was scared of what i was feeling." even if she did experience some fear over her emotions. "i was doing it to protect you." even though he hadn't said anything yet, because he promised to listen to her first, brooke could already see him preparing an argument in his head. the same argument, he's proposed a dozen times before. which is that, she was wrong. that he can take care of himself. that he loves her, so whatever comes at him he can handle on his own.

that might be true but, he shouldn't have to do it all alone. "i thought that if we broke up, tyler would stop harassing us. or harassing you." that hasn't changed though. he was still trying to proposition her, still trying to claim her for himself. even though, she wasn't his to begin with and she never would be. "it didn't work, obviously. he's still... doing his worst." brooke was beginning to realize that was never going to change. so, giving benny up was pointless. it didn't need to happen.

"whenever i'm around, bad things happen to people... you.... get hurt..." that was never her intention, but it didn't matter. she couldn't stop it, much less control it from happening. "i thought that... if i took me out of the equation, the problems that surrounded us would go away." they haven't. and as she's learning, they won't. "just when i think it can't get any worse... it does." the lockdown was further proof of that. "i keep telling myself i'm the problem. but, i promise i don't want to be." hearing him tell her in texts, even if she would've preferred to hear it in person, that he loves her ... broke down her resolve.

brooke stops herself long enough to look at him. to see the boy who drove through the rain just to meet her here tonight. the boy who brought her a new phone when he had every reason to walk away from her for good. the boy who somehow still loved her even after she broke his heart.

her eyes sting at the realization. "and that's the thing i don't think you understand." brooke licks her lip, laughing softly, even though the sound inches closer to a sob. "everybody always thinks i'm running from my feelings." she shakes her head, as if to indicate that's not exactly true. "but, i'm not."

slowly, her gaze lifts back to his, just in time for her to close the distance between them. "that's never been what scared me." there's another pause, another endless moment where brooke finds herself standing at the edge of something she can't take back once it's out. regardless of how intense and chaotic it feels, she can't close it back up. once she says it out loud, it becomes real. and she loses all ability to pretend it isn't anymore. "what scares me..." brooke says, as her voice catches. rain continues to tap against the glass behind them but, she ignores it as she reaches up to drag a hand down the front of his shirt. it glides smoothly across his abdomen, as she feels every indent of muscle as it spasms under her fingertips and tightens beneath her touch. she can tell she's making him nervous but, he's not the only one. she's nervous too. because, if he wanted to, he could reject her... pull away, even before she gets the rest of the words out, "....is how much i love you." the silence, however brief, stretches. steady but, relentless. "because, if i let myself feel this—feel you—" romantically, physically, "then losing you would inevitably destroy me."

and brooke didn't have a lot of people to turn to these days. yet despite his possible rejection once she got started, brooke closes the distance between them. one minute she's touching him, feeling him, innocently, and the next she's throwing caution to the wind. saying fuck it, i want you, as one hand curls into the fabric of his damp shirt, fisting it, while brooke leans up on her tippy toes to smash her lips against his before either of them could think better of it.

however, there was one thing (or one person) that could shake that foundation. tyler o'neill. he's the kind thorn who refuses to let brooke heal from all the emotional trauma she endured before rehab. it's been nothing but one thing after another since she returned to riverwood. all the late-night texts, emotional manipulation, false promises. if tyler truly cared for her, he'd want her to be happy instead of trying to pull her back into old patterns, forcing her to do things she'll later feel ashamed of. he doesn't care if she relapses or if she sees him eating out her best friend's twin sister. everything he does is to serve his own ego. so when brooke mentions tyler, benny's shoulders sink in defeat. everything tyler told her was a damn lie. his life hasn't been better or less complicated without her in it. he preys on her insecurities until she feels empty and broken and that's when he takes advantage of her.

benny wants to argue...he wants to tell her none of those things are true but he promised to remain quiet until she finished. the last thing he wants to do is make her lose her nerve when she's finally worked up enough courage to be honest about everything that's happened. so rather than voicing these things out loud, he just watches her in the faint light of the room. he can't stop thinking about all the memories they shared and how easily it was for tyler to make her say all those cruel things to him.

what hurts the most is knowing their relationship only ended because tyler was able to convince her they didn't belong together.

looking her in the eyes, he feels a mix of heartbreak, frustration, and lingering love, wondering if things would have been different if she didn't allow tyler back into her life. if she just talked to him, instead of the guy who's been doing nothing but leading her into traps.

angry or not, his resolve cracks when she places her hand against him. her touch unravels the disappointment, jealousy, and hurt. his eyes settle on hers and a shiver rolls down his spine. not because he's soaked with rainwater or cold, but because she has the power to break him down and then rebuild him in one breath. is she not aware of how powerful she is? if she wanted to, she could hit back and destroy everyone who underestimates her.

a moment of silence stretches over them but, benny raises his hand to her hip and holds her close, while she runs her fingers down his abs. when she looks up, his breath catches.

they're standing so close he can feel her body heat warming the skin through his wet t-shirt. the rain continues to pelt steadily over the window and the soft amber light casts shadows across the room, making everything feel quieter, more intimate.

when she breaks the silence with a confession he never would have anticipated, he loses the breath he'd been unknowingly holding. she loves him? even better, she's afraid to lose him. benny swallows thickly, trying to find his voice while memorizing the way she looks in this moment. vulnerable, nervous, and glowing in the warm light.

the air between them feels charged with emotion, longing, and the thought of crossing a line they've never crossed before.

All other concerns fade away. the noise of the rain drowns out everything except for the sound of their breathing, and he wonders if they're both feeling the same pull—the temptation to forget the hurt, the confusion, the people waiting to destroy them, and simply live in this moment where nothing else matters.

the first move is hers. he lets her take it, not because he isn't eager to feel her too, but because he wants her to be sure. no lingering confusion or doubt.

the second her hands grip his shirt and she kisses him with passion, he knows this is real, and that he's not just her second choice or the safer option.

eight long days of heartbreak, unanswered questions, and lingering feelings dissolve in an instant when he matches her unrestrained energy and kisses her back like he needs the air in her lungs to breathe.

"—i never stopped being yours, spirit." his words are muffled against her mouth in between her gasps and his groans. "i love you." it's real, not something he's saying only to say it back, but because its how he's felt for a long time.

it doesn't matter that the curtain on the window is open or that his clothes are soaked, he lifts brooke up around his waist and carries her across the room to the bed. his strong arms lower her to the mattress carefully, before removing his wet shirt to lay on top of her.

the lantern room, 9:57 pm

the lantern room is exactly how you'd picture it. it's the kind of place brooke's mother would disappear to whenever she wanted to escape her father, quinn. it had soft lighting, expensive furniture, and a unique view of pine grove through rain-speckled windows. it was the sort of hotel suite that feels detached from the rest of riverwood, like the world can't quite reach you once the door closes behind you. usually, brooke hates it here. but tonight, she's grateful for it. she's been pacing its corners for the better part of twenty minutes while waiting for benny, unable to sit still longer than a few seconds before she's up and moving again. every time she attempts to stop, her eyes find her phone sitting face-down on the bed and she's reminded of what was done to her at lockdown. benny promised to bring her a replacement phone, something to help her escape the endless messages, screenshots and haunting reminders of what happened.

as she grows more anxious waiting, her arms fold tightly over her stomach. she told herself when he came, she'd come clean about everything. the whole truth, though now that he's actually coming... she isn't sure where to start. the leaked photos aren't even the hardest part. it's him. its the way she feels around him, its how she's not the same person since he came into her life. standing in front of someone who somehow still believes she's worth saving, worth still loving, can feel incredibly intimidating.

yet as the sound of footsteps echo outside the hotel room, brooke realizes she doesn't have time to dwell on that. her heart immediately jumps into her throat, while her stomach does somersalts. for a second, she considers pretending she isn't there. she could let him knock, let him leave, let him think she stood him up. it would be easier, wouldn't it? safer, for both of them. but instead, brooke forces herself toward the door. she hesitates only once before unlocking it. then, pulls the door open, only to catch benny standing there, hair disheveled, looking like a calvin klein model in his jeans and white t-shirt. she can't believe some days that he's real.

"you came," she's not sure why she sounds so surprised. of course, he would come. she knew he would. still, her eyes drop briefly to the floor before returning to his again. "sorry, come in." brooke loses her inhibition enough to pull him in by his shirt. afterwards, she steps aside to allow him to pass. once the door shuts behind him, the silence settles. it feels heavy but familiar. dangerous, in ways she can't describe.

when benny pulls up outside the lantern hotel, he looks to his right at the passenger seat where there's an unopened box with a brand new iphone inside. he had it registered under his family plan so no one would trace it back to her. she could add only the contacts of people she trusts. and if she wants him to, he could help her rebuild her social media accounts with the brand deals he'd been ignoring since becoming the number one prospect in the MLB's draft. clothes. jewelry. photoshoots. he would agree to do some of them but only if they offer the same deals to her. brooke's future doesn't have to die just because a jealous ex-boyfriend leaked her nudes.

the wind blows against benny when he steps out of the car, the wet air tousling his hair and soaking through his white t-shirt. each stair up to room 11 makes him nervous. his heart is beating out of his chest by the time he raises his hand and knocks on the door. no amount of driving around could have prepared him to see her again...not like this. alone. curious. maybe even nervous? he looks at her like she's the most beautiful girl on earth, because to him she is.

his jaw ticks, revealing just how anxious he is when he presses his back against the wall after placing the phone down. "i promise to listen. whatever you want to say, you should say. even if it hurts," he says with a noticeably heavy breath. "especially if it hurts."

she was confused, and rightfully so, when benny reached for her phone and tried stopping her from looking at whatever was on it. but the sentiment behind his gesture didn't live long before jake showed up like a bat out of hell. clearly on some jealous, ex boyfriend warpath.

the second his screen met her face, all the color drained from brooke's cheeks. there in 3D were pictures. pictures she recognized. private ones, risque shots she'd sent over a year ago to their intended receiver. photos nobody should have, photos that she trusted someone with. and beneath them were captions... comments... gossip about her....

RIVERWOOD'S FAVORITE REHAB QUEEN REALLY DOES LOVE ATTENTION. Maybe that's why boys keep ending up hurt around her. First rehab. Then overdoses. Then baseball stars getting stabbed. How many lives need to be ruined before Brooke Maddox finally takes responsibility for her own? What a WHORE! Look at her! She deserves it. VOTE QUINN MADDOX FOR MAYOR EVERYONE!

around her, the room goes silent. not completely but, enough as everyone watches her. as everyone starts whispering again. people glance up from their phones, study her reaction, and then return to the pictures again. screenshotting, sharing, reposting.

a few people laugh, another mutters her name followed by a slur. SLUT. meanwhile brooke? she stops breathing. the drugs that made her feel so warm and floaty a few moments ago, suddenly felt like poison in her veins now. her fingers shake, her body trembles, she whispers mortified to herself... "no... no, no, no...." her vision blurs, the images on jake's phone start looking distorted... and for the first time all night, the loneliness disappears. only for something worse to take it's place; fear, humiliation, the inclination to die or get hit by a bus...

"brooke," benny sighs, shrugging out of his leather jacket without a second thought. he can only guess how she must feel. exposed. humiliated. dehumanized. the football team is acting like she's one of those robotic fuck dolls they can do whatever they want with because that's all she is to them...a representation of what they see on their phone when its late at night and they have their hand down their pants to relieve the day's tension.

their eyes are all glued on her; turning her cheer outfit into a perverted fantasy until benny drapes his jacket over her shoulders, and attempts to guide her away from the noise. "they're not allowed to lock the fire escape. let me get you out of here?" he's asking permission, not demanding it. because despite what everyone else thinks of her, he respects her choices and if she still doesn't want him coming to her rescue, he'll reluctantly back off.

meanwhile, jake chases away a jock who thought it would be funny to capture a selfie with brooke while she's falling apart. benny lifts her chin so she looks at him instead of the comments under her pictures. "accepting my help doesn't mean you owe me anything. you don't have to endure this kind of ridicule. you don't deserve this."

at the gutting realization of just how rotten things had gotten between them, brooke swallows hard. "you know what? never mind." her eyes drift away from him just in time for her phone and everyone else's in the auditorium to buzz. BZZZT. one phone after another vibrates nearby. and within seconds the entire auditorium seems to light up. heads lower, students glance at their screens, conversations begin dying mid-sentence as they all stop to look. the longer brooke ignores chancing a glance herself, the more her phone buzzes violently in her pocket. once, twice, three times. confused as to why everyone's suddenly whispering and staring at her, brooke pulls her own out. across the screen appears a notification. UNKNOWN POST —FROM: THE SIXTH CALLER. for a brief moment she doesn't understand what she's looking at or who it's from. but, she intends to find out as she attempts to open it.

"if you want to talk, we can talk." benny faces her completely, giving her his undivided attention like he's done so many times before. however, before things could blossom or rot some more, the entire assembly echoes in high and low cellphone notifications. even benny's phone is vibrating in his pocket. he pulls it out before brooke has a chance to look, and his eyes widen with shock. brooke's barely clothed body is all over social media. she's standing in front of a mirror topless and taking selfies in her underwear. who were these pictures for? she broke up with him a week ago and she's already in another relationship? benny looks around the gymnasium and sees the way everyone is staring at their phones and then at them. at her.

when he notices her lift her phone to clue in on what the big deal is, he snatches it away. "brooke, you don't want to look...." he doesn't know how he can protect her from this. if it was just one person, he'd smash their phone and punch their lights out to make them forget what they saw...but the entire school is looking. whispering. laughing. then jake comes barreling toward them like an angry toddler. his phone is in his hand, raised in the air like he has damming evidence that could put her away for good. "brooke, what the hell?! you're sending nudes?!" jake pushes the phone into her face so she can get a better look. "your boobs broke the internet!" he's mad because he's jealous. unable to shake off being her protector, benny shoves him away before he can say anything else.

when their laughter dies down to lingering smiles, he shakes his head and stuffs his wallet away. "you're so dumb," he says with teasing affection. "and you couldn't be more wrong in your assessment of me. i'm not a golden retriever." it would be nice if he was, but that's not how he sees himself. if sami knew the real him, she'd take her pompoms and run the other way like brooke did.

after taking another sip from the bottle they're swapping back and forth, benny works up the nerve to be honest with her. "my mom's a saint. a real golden retriever. my dad, he's...a pitbull. i've gotten into trouble trying to prove to him that i'm his son. not just my mother's. he has this...this perception of how he wants me to be and it conflicts with how my mom raised me. i've done a lot of stupid shit trying to impress him. worst of all, i lost myself and made some pretty shitty friends who convinced me to do some things i'm not proud of, but i still did them. that's on me. if you knew some of the things i've done...you'd leave too."

every single thing he says feels like somebody quietly opening doors inside of her, she spent years locking shut. the pauses after being disappointed, the apologizing, the pretending she's okay because somehow that's easier than admitting she's hurt again.

for so long, people only saw the version of brooke that was useful to them. someone who was pretty, sharp-tongued, and fun at parties. someone difficult enough to chase but easy enough to leave once they got close enough. even her own parents only ever seemed to notice her when she was falling apart or causing problems. so, maybe that's why she did it?

but benny? benny always notices the spaces between things. her silences, the fear, and exhaustion. and he still somehow looks at her like she's still someone worth loving. that nearly undoes her.

her eyes gloss with tears before she can stop them, while her throat tightens so hard she has to look down for a second just to steady herself before responding. one hand remains tangled lightly in his shirt, while the other comes up to brush beneath her eye quickly, embarrassed by how emotional she suddenly feels standing in the middle of this stupid carnival.

"it's not fair," she says softly, voice unsteady in a way it rarely ever is. wrecked. "when you say things like that to me." because in truth, nobody ever has. nobody's ever looked at her and seen someone worth protecting without expecting something in return.

brooke lets out a shaky breath, as her eyes lift back up to his. "do you have any idea how long i've spent thinking i was only lovable when i was useful to someone? or wanted by them? like... if i wasn't making myself easy to keep around, eventually they would leave?" the dragon ride to their left screams overhead, but she barely registers it now. "and then you show up...." she carries on, almost laughing at how absurd it all sounds, "this stupidly sweet baseball play from rehab and some apricot town who looks at me like i'm precious instead of something complicated." her lips tremble into the faintest of smiles. "i don't think you understand how terrifying that is for me." because she wants it. which is, the most terrifying part. she wants soft things like the ones he's offering so bad it hurts.

her fingers slide from his shirt to his hand instead, threading through it carefully and intentionally. "but i think...." she confesses, swallowing hard. “i think i want to be chosen by you too.” her admission almost leaves her breathless and vulnerable in a way she isn't used to.

she steps closer again anyway, until her forehead rests against his chest this time, the tiger still trapped awkwardly between their bodies. “nobody’s ever made me feel safe enough to believe i could be loved without earning it first.”

"you never have to work to keep me around, maddox. i want you for you. for who you are when no one's watching. i know how hard things are here, with your family and your friends. i understand the pressure to be perfect because i get it too. but you don't have to be perfect for me. all you have to be is yourself. that'll always be enough." benny lifts her chin to meet his eyes. "because i've already chosen you. again and again and again. i'll never stop choosing you."

music plays from distant speakers while the scent of popcorn and funnel cake linger on the cool breeze. night has fallen and the stars are out. benny slips his hand into hers and guides her to the ferris wheel he's been eyeing all night. they've gone on one several times, but this is his first time riding the one in riverwood with all her friends watching.

the operator waves them into the carriage and as the ride slowly climbs higher and higher, the carnival stretches beneath them in a sea of color. at the very top, the wheel pauses. benny just holds her hand while she rest her head against his shoulder.

the tilt-a-whirl was next, nearly throwing them into each other's laps from laughing so hard. the bumper cars brought out their competitive sides. and the game booths became their next challenge. benny went into a basketball game with way too much confidence and finished with a terribly low score. the employee felt so bad she offered him a small keychain after three more equally awful attempts. brooke mocked his terrible aim until she missed every target at the water-gun race. that gave him enough ammunition to tease her back. the photo booth was impossible to resist. they squeezed inside together, knees pressed against each other in the cramped space. the first picture they smiled like it was their first time taking a picture together. the second caught them mid-laugh after the flash surprised them. the third showed them making silly faces. on the fourth picture, they got more comfortable and she sat on his lap. they turned to each other and their foreheads nearly touched. he wanted to kiss her but it was too late. click. the picture still came out cute, with them both smiling softly, too nervous to make the final move.

when the strip slid out of the machine, they stared at that last picture longer than any of the others. benny gave her one and slipped the other into his pocket. the carnival food became their dinner, dessert, and everything in between. they shared a giant funnel cake with enough powered sugar to make a mess. he stole bites of her caramel apple. she stole handfuls of his popcorn. they split an order of fries and when he spilled his lemonade, she shared hers. the carnival lights looked beautiful in her eyes. he couldn't look away and she didn't want him to. but he promised milkshakes and that's when they got separated. that's when he lost her in the crowd and when tyler pulled her behind a cardboard photo opt. and when alex appeared cloaked in all-black with a knife pointed at benny's gut. the blade slipped in too easy. the shock of knowing he was going to die was immediate, but he had enough awareness to feel relief knowing brooke was out of danger. she was safe and that's all that mattered.

then there was that distorted voice he'll never forget.

leave riverwood now, or i'll carve out her pretty eyes next.

lockdown, 6:39pm

brooke shouldn't be here. well, technically she should. the whole point of a school lockdown is staying all night, participating in activities, pretending everyone is one big happy family even though they're not. but, she shouldn't be here like this. the coke tyler gave her earlier mixed with mdma sits warm in her stomach, tangled up with whatever alcohol she'd started drinking an hour ago. not enough to make her stumble yet but, enough to make everything feel intense and brighter, and harder at the same time. it's stupid. everything about tonight is stupid. especially the fact she keeps looking for him. she told herself she wasn't going to. she told herself she didn't care anymore. she shouldn't but, then she spots him across the auditorium. laughing, alive, happy with sami. that should fill her with relief. isn't that what she wanted? for him to be happy and move on? so, why does it feel like somebody is slowly peeling off her skin? brooke has to tear her eyes away, force herself to escape in the opposite direction. she doesn't make it twenty feet before she collides with another body. his. when had he gotten up? her stomach immediately drops after realizing. "it's you." of course it is. because apparently the universe thinks it's funny or karma does. "nice to see you're finally walking again." limping, would be the more accurate term but, whatever.