Hey hi hello!!! Itβs been literally a year since Iβve been back on here and I wanted to apologize to all of you and all of my wonderful friends who Iβve fallen out of contact with. Iβm always thinking about you all and wishing you well though!!
The past year has been unkind to me. I got a job that has been one of the worst experiences Iβve had the misfortune of enduring (and which is also the reason I havenβt been able to be on here in so long) and my mental health and self esteem has been at an all time low.
I just read the New Yearβs post that I made last year and I talked about how 2018 had been a year of invisible growth. How I had done a lot of healing, and grown my roots down. And Iβm so grateful for that year of healing. Because I needed it. The same way I hope that next year, Iβll look back and reflect on how I needed 2019, to have the 2020 Iβm about to have.
In 2019 I hated myself. I hated my situation. I lost some friends and felt a distance growing between myself and others. I felt lonely and like I had no self worth. But I did things that I needed to do. I got myself a job, despite how terrifying it was for me. I got myself a car, something that had literally been hindering my life since I was a teenager. I reached out to a childhood friend and reconnected with them. I went to a bunch of Kpop shows, which is where I feel my happiest.
This past year has been unkind, but I myself have been unkinder. Iβve gained a lot of weight, and I havenβt been taking good care of my body. But in 2020 Iβd like to learn to love myself regardless of what I look like. And Iβd like to treat my body with the kindness and gentleness she deserves.
So I hope to be back on here more regularly soon, and I hope everyone has a 2020 full of love, kindness, and happiness!!
(Also Iβve been active on twitter in case anyone was wondering where I went -itβs easier to use during work. So you can always follow me there at @starboyjjks !!)
