james-pottrâ:
Stepping back into the cottage, James finds himself squinting against the soft glow of several lamps in the living room and his gaze falls to his watch, noting the late hour. Remus had stayed up. And, he guesses, judging from the state of the house, had been anxious tidying. James knew that things had been hard on Remus, that since his return people had been treating him with kid gloves and as if he couldnât be trusted - something James knew would be pricking at a very deep insecurity inside the other man.
And normally, James would do his best to soothe his friend. That no matter his conflicted feelings about Remusâ behaviour and choices, he would want him to feel safe and loved and appreciated.
That was, of course, however, the role of a James who had not just spent the last few hours beside what could have been Siriusâ deathbed. This James was far, far more frazzled.
Glancing down at the blood smeared down the front of his shirt, James lifts a hand and carelessly rakes it through his hair, tugging tightly on the strands as he does so. âMission went badly,â he says, eyes watching the cautious way Remus approaches him, âI donât know, I wasnât there. He was paired with Fabian and Lily. Bellatrix got him.â
Thereâs no need for more words. He and Remus both know exactly the vendetta that Bellatrix Lestrange held for her estranged cousin.
âHeâs fine now, heâs at Mungoâs. Heâs awake, or he wasâŚLily made me come home,â James says, voice cracking with the effort, âWe almost lost him, Moony.â
How could he have rested? Knowing his friends - all of them, everyone he has grown to care for - are out doing Merlin knows what. He hasnât the clearance to know anymore. Remus idly wonders if this is what they all felt like, not knowing where he was, and that pang of guilt adds to the pit of it long-ago formed at the bottom of his stomach. He does his best to shove it away. No time for that. Jamesâ shirt is caked in blood and Remus has to try and figure out how to make this less horrifying.
There isnât a way, not as James explains and Remus feels more and more listless, standing there uselessly, but he has to try. Sieius is at Mungoâs. Heâs awake. Lily is still with him.
Remusâ jaw works. He should have been there. Maybe he doesnât believe in the cause the same way they do, not anymore, even if he wonât admit it to them, but he should have been there. Maybe he would have been able to help. Maybe he would have been able to ward off Bellatrix Lestrange, or Sirius would have been in a different place, or something would have shifted with his presence.
â - You should get changed,â is all he can think to say. Maybe, in another year, before, Remus would have hugged James. Would have said something more comforting. âWe - Lily was right to send you home. Itâs not going to do you or him any good to stay there and run yourself ragged.â

















