Kirakira, motherf*cker

January Commissions Open!

I reserve the right to display commissions as examples for others to see.

DO NOT send me a DM to contact me. Email is the most secure and stable way to contact me. If you have any questions, please email me. 

Complicated designs may cost up to $10 more. 

Email [email protected] 

Please check the status of commissions on my Trello board. 

Slots may open up as I finish other commissions! 

ALL PAYMENT DONE THROUGH PAYPAL!

Commissions Contact Period ends January 15th

REBLOGS APPRECIATED 

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

or

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

He could go from Rick Moranis to Chris Evans with just his posture. It’s like his glasses are weighing his entire body down. Here it is, in motion:

for those who don’t know, i’m a trans masculine person who has taken testosterone since december 2015. i’m also disabled and struggling financially otherwise.

i’ve been off T for several weeks now because of access issues. i know how to acquire it by certain creative means, but doing so would mean my insurance obviously won’t pay for it. 

my partner also has been ill recently and will be having surgery in mid-january, so money is very tight. he won’t be able to work for a while, and we don’t know how we’re going to make rent the next couple of months.

i consider this an emergency situation. i need my T. please help.

paypal: [email protected] venmo: @Nik-Hartsfield cash app: $nbvalkyrie44 zelle: 352-226-7347

if you have gift cards you’re not going to use, please message me! my partner and i can probably make use of or sell them.

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

“Hey! Rin-chan does that all the time, doesn’t he? Is that for good luck too?”

Vampires speaking in dead languages.

Vampires being able to translate untranslatable scripts.

Vampires who react to straightwashing historical figures like “Are you kidding me everyone knew that man was queer!”

Vampires from cultures who were once antagonistic towards each other stubbornly maintaining a friendship that’s lasted longer than their civilizations.

vampire who couldn’t tell you what caravaggio was known for but duelled with him at least three times and slept with him at least ten. “cara-who OH YOU MEAN MICHAEL yeah he was cool”

vampire who spent 100 years in a convent and is still so bitter that in all that time they never made her mother superior “GODDAMMIT I HAD SENIORITY! I HAD SENIORITY!” “okay so first off janet, that was six hundred years ago, but more importantly, maybe if you didn’t always start those complaints off with blasphemy…”

vampire professor who just sort of showed up at oxford when it was founded and is still there (and nobody’s noticed because he still never actually shows up to his lectures)

queer vampire who constantly talks about the fashion for straightness and you need to be really careful because if you tell them straight is default they WILL scream at you for five days straight about what a modern concept heterosexuality is

vampire hoarder who has an entire town where they just kept having to buy new houses to keep their stuff in and some of it’s probably worth tens of millions by now but you’ll never find it in among the 1950s kitschy kitten sculptures and boxes of newspaper (the newspaper is a wonderful mix of yesterday’s guardian and daily courants from 1725)

vampire sailor from manderville’s time who just has so many stories and some of them might even be true

vampire bluestocking girl who took to the internet like a fish to water and spends her whole unlife engaging reddit antifeminists about women’s rights because that’s one fight she’s determined to see through. also with the advent of cheap dyes she literally wears blue socks every day and hopes one day someone gets the joke

vampire doctor who just gets SO CONFUSED about the literature because do you know how hard it is to keep up with medicine kevin? when i got my doctorate we thought leeches were good and then they were bad and now they’re good again? i was published in issue one of the lancet kevin that is 387 lancets kevin how the hell am i meant to remember which one’s current kevin why are they saying cannabis is good for pain like this is news??? (but also lives in a state of wonderment every day in hospital because wow look at all this stuff we can do now look at it kevin!)

optimistic liberal reformist college freshman luke who believes the jedi order can be rebuilt once again if we all follow the light side this time

vs