Twix

welcome to my new app, UberFeats. i will send heroes to your house to commit great Feats of strength and cunning

Will they do my dishes?

they will Slay your dishes

What about the laundry?

they will Slay your laundry

what about the minotaur harassing my cows

they will Have Sex with the minotaur

the demon i am on a first date with: i should apologize ahead of time. see my horns are so huge and majestic that i cannot put a shirt on. i am cursed to never have a shirt on so you can always see my (large) torso. i understand that might be rude me: dang. i am sorry for your situation. we will just have to try make the best of it

what’s good about this is that our demon here COULD wear a button down, but this has clearly never occurred to them which indicates that they’re a himbo too

Me, staring at shirtless himbo demon and taking off my own shirt: oh my god, you’re so fucking stupid

was this post made by monster fuckers or

yes it was

The thing about the predator franchise’s obsession with rehashing the same iconic lines/moments in every movie despite the location, characters, and time changing every movie is that it does (and by does I mean it can if you tilt your head and squint) suggest that the predators arrival seems to kickstart a recursive narrative loop that traps the protagonists of whatever movie it is and forces them to fulfill certain roles until the predator is killed, therefore suggesting that the goal of the predator is not the ultimate hunt but in fact to break the narrative cycle they are trapped in whenever they go against humanity

The predator when it listens to the wind blow and watches the sun rise knowing it will never break the chain: okay I was going to put a reaction image but I looked it up and there is so much yautja porn. which I expected. but still.