Okay so I relapsed (very fun and quirky of me) and my ED is forcing me to view my partner as thinspo He is the same height and age as me but he is SO FUCKING SKINNY like I swear to God I could eat off the slopes of his collarbones and I can feel the points of his hipbones and knees Im extremely fucking frustrated because I love him and I love his body so much in General, but now that Ana has taken over my fucking brain again I can't stop looking at him as my ugw and I feel so horrible and guilty and dirty about it and I don't know how to turn it off or go back (sideblog is flowerpetalsandtea)
I'm really sorry youre going through a relapse, its awful, I know. Ive actually been in a really similar situation to what you're describing before. It is SO important to talk to him about it, especially in a relationship. Obviously he can't do anything aboit the way your ED sees him (a grim reality of the disorder, im afraid) but at the very least he would know to avoid talking about food or how much he's eating around you, and maybe give some affirmation as well. You don't even need to tell him that he's triggering it either, if you fear That may make him feel guilty about it. That being said, your emotional wellbeing comes first! It wouldn't be outlandish to ask him for a short break so you can try to figure things out. But dont feel guilty about the way youre thinking! Remember that these are thoughts that you absolutely have no control over, and that they dont make you a bad person/partner.
Im so sorry you have to go through this again, please stay safe ❤❤❤ im not great with advice, but i promise you'll get through this, no matter how difficult it seems in the moment