Monkey Dick Goku

One of DBZ’s greatest things is its ability to give us a good fight scene - it was made in the 80s, and we’re still look at each other and going ‘damn that was awesome’ when we see a Kamehameha, Final Flash, or Kikoho/Tribeam. However, within this concept also lies one of DBZ’s greatest weaknesses: everyone’s trying to do the same thing in regards to fighting. Yes, they all have different moves and techniques, but everyone’s trying to be the power player, the guy with the biggest ki blast and the hardest punch, and that just gets a little boring after awhile because only one person can be the best. I think this is also one of the big reasons the non-saiyan Z Warriors fell to the sidelines - you can’t out-saiyan a saiyan, but that’s what Toriyama seems to have them try and do over and over, and everyone suffers for it. (Note: this is not me saying the fights in DBZ are bad - they are AMAZING. I’m saying they could be even more amazing)

So, awhile ago, I sat down, took a look at the Z Warriors (and Videl, Chichi, 18, and Raditz), and figured out, based on their styles in the manga, what I would have done with them, what niche I would have created for each character, and I’m going to share them with you now. Please keep in mind that this is a perspective that comes from having solely read the manga, and also that by saying one character is good at one thing, I’m not saying anyone else is bad at it. So, without further ado, here’s how I would cast:

Goku

Oh Goku. Goku Goku Goku. The main character of the story, the hero, the saiyan you can’t out-saiyan. Strongest of the strong, bravest of the brave, hungriest of the hungry. What am I going to do with him, you ask, how do you give Goku a special little niche all his own that keeps him from stealing someone else’s thing while keeping him himself? Well, my friends, the answer’s simple for what I would do with Goku:

Nothing.

Yup, swear to Dende, to my mind Goku is actually good as he is, I wouldn’t change a thing! Because Goku already has his own special thing he does better than anyone else in canon: he’s a mimic. It’s been pointed out by far more popular DBZ fans than I, but, in manga canon at least, Goku never invents a single attack – Piccolo even calls him lazy in this regard at the beginning of the Saiyan Saga. Most people count this as a flaw, but, actually, I disagree.

Goku is characterized as being dumb at most things, but a near savant when it comes to any and all forms of fighting. He can see an attack once and find the flaws in it, as he did during his battle with Tien at the 24th Budokai, or copy it near-perfectly, which is how he learned the Kamehameha from Roshi. And I think this perfectly accentuates his skill and raw talent as a fighter. Many martial artists can learn how to counter a new style with relative speed; a scant few can learn it and then use it against you within a few minutes of first experiencing it. Heck, back when he was a kid, one of Goku’s strategies during a fight was literally to let his enemy whale on him for awhile, learn their moves while they did so, and then turn around and beat the crap out of them. It shows a speed of learning, level of creativity, and comprehension of martial arts that is extremely special, and pretty unique throughout the series, at least among good guys.

Could Goku create his own attacks, both ki and regular? Sure, it probably wouldn’t be too hard for him. But why do that when he’s got an entire style built around supreme adaptability and being able to switch tactics on the fly? Heck, I might even make it that he’s not good at thinking up attacks, that could be a weakness he has in this area, beyond making inadvisable choices in the name of a good fight. That could lead to some interesting banter within the group, if nothing else, and when it comes to DBZ the jokes are as key as the fights in regards to what gives this series its unique flavour that we all keep coming back to.