I'm A Monkey Butt

The current entirety of my little space playroom! I’m comfortable enough at this point sharing it even though it’s still a work in progress.

human spends the whole time in the hall of mirrors

mermaids would have to be dark-skinned and chubby to survive in the ocean 

water isnt a great means of protecting oneself from the sun theyd have to be very dark if they were shallow mermaids and they didnt want to be constantly sunburnt and they may be paler if they lived deeper in the water but theyd have to be buff and/or chubby as hell to resist the water pressure and cold of the deep sea

Onesies Downunder - Pacifier Clip Giveaway

You can win 1 of 5 Pacifiers Clips Packs!

www.onesiesdownunder.com

5 winners will be selected at random to win three pacifier clips of their choice from the styles and colours we have in stock.

Each winner will receive three pacifier clips shipped to them. This giveaway is open WORLDWIDE.

Rules:

To enter, all you need to do is reblog this post.

You may enter as many times as you like.

You must be 18+ to enter this giveaway.

Giveaway ends on the 12th of November 2018 11:59PM AEST.

You’re sitting at a cafe with your friend when suddenly a woman walks in with a toy poodle in her purse. The manager at the counter informs her “I’m sorry, but we do not allow dogs”. She replies with a heavy sigh and a “She’s a service dog. She can come with me”. Not knowing much about service dog law, and worrying about getting sued for asking further questions, he sits this woman down at a booth. There, she promptly unzips her purse and places the dog on the booth seat next to her. When the woman’s food comes out, the little dog begs and she feeds her bits off her plate. This dog is not public access trained, and proceeds to bark at those who walk by. This dog is a nuisance and causes many in the restaurant to complain. The manager cannot do anything but inform the unhappy customers that this is a service dog, so he can’t ask her to leave. In the end, it’s the customers who end up leaving.

Now I walk in with my highly trained service dog pressed against my leg in a perfect heel position, and I’m quickly bombarded by the manager telling me “No dogs! No dogs! We ALL know what happened last time”. Confused, I tell him “This is my medical alert and medical response service dog. Her right to accompany me is protected under federal law.” With a sigh, he seats me at a table far away from others where my dog promptly tucks under my feet, out of sight. When my food arrives my dog is still tucked tightly under the table because she knows she’s not supposed to eat when she’s on duty. She stays there ignoring those who walk past for the remainder of my meal. When we leave, a woman by the door exclaims “Woah, I didn’t know there was a dog here!”

See the difference?

Scenario number two occurs at a local grocery store when a man decides to bring his certified emotional support animal into the store with him. Upon entering he flashes a fancy ID card and certification papers. This dog is not as unruly as the first, but he still forges ahead of his handler, sniffs the food on display, and may seek attention from those who walk past. You find this dog adorable, and when he and his owner walk past you ask to pet him. The owner says yes and explains how all he had to do was go online, register his dog, and a few weeks later they sent him a vest, ID card, and certification papers.

Now I pull into the same grocery store. I’m in a rush to get an ingredient for a dish I’m making so I hurry into the store with my service dog next to me. I’m quickly stopped by a manager who demands to see my service dog’s certification card. Remember, this is NOT required by law, and most real service dog teams don’t have them. After 15 minutes of trying to educate, pulling up the ADA website on my phone, back and forth bickering, and drawing more of a crowd than I want to describe… I’m finally allowed in. I grab my ingredient, stand in line (where my service dog obediently moves between my legs to make space for those around me), and I get bombarded by people asking to pet my dog. I explain that she’s working, she has a very important job to do, and she’s not allowed to be pet while on duty. People walk away grumbling and complaining about how rude I was when other handlers like the man they met earlier allow their dog to be pet.

Something I’ve been struggling with has been physically taking care of myself. As I (technically) live alone and have no caregiver I’ve found it extremely challenging to do so especially on my bad days.

I’m gonna compile a list of items that make my life a little easier as well as collect other’s suggestions

🛁 Personal care:

Baby wipes (for hygiene cleaning when showering is too hard)

Deorderant

Face wipes (to clean face or remove makeup when you don’t have energy for a skin care routine)

Dry shampoo (seriously showers are hard!)

Gum/mints (not easy to remember to brush teeth before appointments)

🍽 Nutrition:

Salad mix (easy meal; I add cheese, dressing and shredded meat)

Canned food (no prep)

Baby food

Sandwich ingredients ( I’d live if sandwiches if I could)

Meal replacement (sometimes eating is hard too)

Pre-cut fruit and veg

Frozen fruit and veg (smoothies; veg won’t go bad)

Electric can open ( I HAVE NO MUSCLES)

Water bottle (keep one by bed and in main living space) could also use baby bottle 😉

Snack foods (cheese string, crackers, apple sauce, granola bar, etc)

Multi-vitamin or vitamin for what your missing (for me it’s calcium)

📝 Chores:

Laundry pods (less to worry about)

Chore lists

Reward chart

Gentle or natural cleaners (harsh chemicals dry out your skin)

Music

Timer (eg: work for 5 min, break for 5 min)

😍 Self-care:

Heated blanket or stuffed animal

Paci

Fav show/movie

Fav music

A million pillows or stuffies

Scented candles/wax melts/diffuser

Little boy: *angry because of bad stuff that happened*

Daddy: Sure you’re not very secretly wanting Daddy snuggies right now?

Little boy: But!!!

Daddy: *keeps talking* And kisses on the side of your head. While you sink into my arms. Daddy softly rocking you, running his hand through your hair.

Little boy:… I always want Daddy snuggies…

Daddy: While Markus (little boy’s favourite stuffie) holds your handsie? Would you like that baby?

Little boy: Yes Daddy🙄