We’re All Mad Here

It was like she put herself in a timeout.

She was being too mean, and she needed to remove herself from being around Harry for a little while (just an evening). She was certain he was going to break up with her or fire her. Either one was bad, but she wouldn’t blame him if he did either of those things because she hadn’t been acting like herself.

It felt like a whole new kind of cranky. Like she was never going to be not cranky ever again. She couldn’t get out of it, kind of cranky. It was most definitely the stress from work and making sure that all her ducks were in a row. It was exhausting and she was worried she wasn’t even worth the promotion Niall and Harry gave her.

Unfortunately, she was taking all her anger and frustration out on Harry too. Fortunately, just at home. If she was cranky at work, she let it simmer and build inside her until she got home where she was simply not good company.

Harry took it in stride. When she confessed to Niall and Louis that she felt like she was being an absolute bitch, they reminded her (very excitedly) that Harry was often a dick under duress, and it was about time he got a taste of his own medicine.

But Harry was so sweet and good to her. He offered to help her with whatever she needed at home or at work whether she was a grump or not. Almost like he didn’t mind. But she could see the slight heartbreak on his face every time she yelled or got mad at him.

I’m going to see Louis She texted as she exited Styles Inc.

Alright, let me know when you’re on your way home. I’ll keep dinner warm. I love you xx

She didn’t even respond and she knew it was criminal not to. 

He was too sweet and it made her crankier that she was being so mean and he just didn’t deserve it. Maybe if she was gone for a few hours, he would pack all her stuff and kick her out. That’s what she deserved. Not the sweet man who was going to keep dinner warm for her and just let him be an emotional punching bag.

At least now she understood how he got his reputation for all those years. No wonder incompetency pissed him off. She wanted to set her office on fire some days over the last few weeks. It was a miracle that anything got done with the level of stupidity she dealt with daily. It wasn’t fair to anyone. Maybe if she wasn’t so stressed, she would have been in a teaching or guiding mood to help employees and interns.

Why couldn’t they just read her mind? It wasn’t that fucking hard.

“Are you alright?” Louis asked, staring at her beside him on the sofa. He had a movie that they’d both already seen a hundred times in hopes it would comfort her and make her less bite-someone’s-head-off-y. She flicked her eyes to him and huffed. He looked away briefly, his eyes opening a little wider. “Did Harry mess up?”

“Would you just stop with the Harry’s-the-enemy bit? He’s perfect. Leave him alone,” she grumbled.

Louis’ eyebrows pinched together and he took his phone out and tapped a few times. He cleared his throat and read a text he received from her yesterday. “Harry is chewing gum SO loudly. I want to rip it out of his mouth and shove it in my ear so I don’t have to hear it.”

Well, it was loud. She even told him it was and made him spit it out shortly after that text. So at least she didn’t reach into his mouth and take it. She wasn’t insane.

That insane. 

Hearing the text back though did register something in her and she was glad Louis was there because he was pretty good at knowing what was wrong with her so maybe he could figure it out. “Something’s wrong with me,” she groaned and rubbed her temples. “I’ve never been so angry and stressed in my whole life, Louis. What is wrong with me?”

“It’s a new job, love. It’s a lot more stress being a boss. Look at Harry.”

“Stop bringing him up.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m serious. I mean… he gets like this too, right? You and Niall are practically prepared for it. You set your clock to it, for God’s sake,” he reminded her. It made her feel the slightest bit better that she wasn’t totally insane. “You haven’t fired anyone… yet,” Louis continued.

She rolled her eyes and slumped further into his couch cushions enjoying the softness like a cloud cradle. Maybe she just needed to be away from him for a little while longer so she could miss him. Maybe she would stay the night. But that would worry him. But that was stupid that he would be worried. How could he ever think she would leave him? She loved him so much. He was so gentle with her. Even when she was being a massive bitch.

He spit his gum out the moment she asked. Didn’t even question why she was so cranky. Just continued working and only looking at her for a moment longer (mainly so he wouldn’t set her off for staring. That had happened a few times recently). “I don’t want to be mean to him. He’s my favorite person.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, shut up, Louis. You know what I mean,” she grumbled.

Louis blinked at her and shook his head.

“What?”

“Nothing, you’re just really feisty with everyone. Even me. Even Eleanor… It’s like you’re… it’s like you’re hormonal or something. Maybe you should go to the doctor. Or see a therapist or something.”

She gasped the moment he said the word hormonal. Louis’s eyebrows jumped sharply up his forehead and his lips rolled into his mouth to keep from speaking further. He waited for her to berate him for suggesting she was hormonal in the first place. It was a rookie mistake. It was perhaps the number one thing not to say to a woman. If she punched him, he knew he deserved it.

Her jaw dropped.

“Oh, shit,” she jumped up and went to the kitchen where Eleanor had a pretty, colorful white board calendar attached to their fridge. She started counting backwards. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she shook her head and rushed to the bathroom. Immediately she knelt in front of their vanity and dug through the drawers and the cabinet beneath the sink. “You guys have never had a pregnancy scare?” She was tearing through every carefully organized box that Eleanor had situated. Maybe Eleanor would yell at her the way she deserved. “I need a test!”

“Do you and Harry keep them?” He rolled his eyes. “Why the fuck would we just have pregnancy tests?”

“For this reason!” She shrieked and covered her face. It made so much sense. There were too many days between now and her last period. She probably didn’t even need the test at all. It all made sense. The anger, the exhaustion, the irritability over silly little things.

“I’ll have El get one on her way home,” he said, texting her immediately.

“Louis,” she brought a hand to her mouth. “I can’t have a baby,” she whispered.

“Why not?” He asked. “You love babies. So does Harry.”

“But…” she sniffled. “I’m so angry.”

“Probably because of the baby growing in you,” he rolled his eyes.

“Louis,” a few tears rolled down her cheeks. How she didn’t know for this long was embarrassing. The fluctuation in her moods, the tiredness, the cravings she had for chocolate…

“Babe,” he smiled excitedly. “You’re gonna have a baby,” he cupped her face and kissed her forehead. “I’m so happy for you,” he pulled her close to rub her back while she sniveled into his shoulder. “You’re going to be the best mum,” he assured her. “It’s just the hormones. It’s just for a little while,” he promised.

“But—”

“No,” he shook his head, pushed her back so he could brush her tears away again. He looked at her with a gentle expression and smiled sweetly at her. “This isn’t you,” he promised. “It’s your little alien taking over your brain,” he grinned. “Glad I figured it out.”

She snorted and rubbed her hand across one eye. “You really think I’m going to be a good mom? I don’t have… a great example.”

“You will be,” he nodded. “I know it. And I will be the best uncle. Which is most important. I’ll fight Niall about it,” he winked.

“When will El be home?” She asked quietly.

“A half hour.”

She sucked her lip into her mouth. “I probably don’t even need the test,” she whispered.

“I know, but it’ll be good evidence for when you tell Harry.”

She nodded. “Okay,” she sighed deeply. “Let’s go look at baby things until she gets here.”

“Now you’re talking.”

*

Harry tapped his foot impatiently waiting for her text to say she was on her way home. Every minute that crept on made him more anxious. It felt like everything he did was wrong. He couldn’t ask her what was wrong. He felt very stuck that he couldn’t fix it.

Dinner wasn’t going to get cold, but he was really hoping she would have at least talked to him by now.

Harry sighed deeply and pressed her name in his recent call log. He closed his eyes as he put his phone to his ear knowing there was a very strong chance he was going to get yelled at. He knew it wasn’t her fault. She was stressed. Really stressed. It was a taste of his own medicine. Constantly making people nervous, miserable, scared for their jobs.

The only job he wanted was being her boyfriend and he was nearly ill about losing the position. “Hi, baby,” she said softly.

He blinked in surprise, pulled his phone away to check he called the right person. “Uh… hi kitten,” he mumbled. “M’jus… checking in. Should I put your dinner away?”

She was silent for a few seconds, and Harry seriously thought she was going to say she was never coming home. That the stress was too much and living with the person directly responsible for her stress was way too much.

“I’m outside, actually. On the swing.”

Harry’s heart pounded so hard he thought he was going to collapse. He glanced out the window and saw her lying on the bed swing. Her feet touching the porch gently pushing her. Her body was flat on the mattress, just her elbow bent to hold the phone to her ear.

Why didn’t she come in to say hi? How long had she been out there?

Harry genuinely didn’t want to go outside. It felt eerie. Like this was really it; he didn’t know if he could have her fall out of love on the porch swing where some of his most treasured moments with her happened. He put his phone on the counter and made sure all the knobs were turned off on the stove before he turned to the door.

He pushed the slider out of the way and stepped onto the porch. She didn’t move, just continued rocking her and the swing softly. The air was warm, crickets, bugs, and chirping birds were still around. It was a beautiful summer evening and he was terrified that his beautiful life he was so fortunate to have was just going to end in ten seconds.

“Kitten, I know you’ve been really stressed,” he started and knelt onto the mattress. It shifted under his weight. He cupped the side of her neck, and it felt almost painful to look at her like this. He almost couldn’t look into her pretty eyes. If this was it, he was going to torture himself by touching her the way he’d missed touching her so much. Her skin was so soft, and she was so unbelievably pretty in the golden sunset light. He started speaking because it was now or never and he had to plead his case. “I know I’ve been annoying you, and I know m’not your favorite person right now.”

“Harry—”

“No, I think this is karma for all the interns I terrified. This is awful though. I just…I’ll do anything. Can I please do something to make this better?” He asked. “I completely understand your stress and I know it’s hard and I want to help because you’ve always helped me—”

“Harry, you don’t understand,” her voice was very gentle, and Harry was grateful that at the very least she was going to be soft as she left him and not the hardened version of herself that he’d been worried about for the last several weeks.

“I do, kitten. I really, really understand and I can sleep in the guest room or I can hire you an intern—”

“Harry, baby—”

“—One that’s just like you so you can get all the help you deserve; anything to make this better.

“Harry—”

“—I feel awful that you’re so mad and sad and I do not regret giving you a promotion. I'm just worried you’re going to hate me and working with me even though it’s the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ll do anything, kitten. Literally anything to keep you—I could quit, if you want. I can start bringing you coffee in the afternoon—”

“I can’t drink coffee anymore,” she interrupted, finally.

That was actually almost worse than her breaking up with him. He blinked at her in surprise. She loved coffee. Why on earth…? “What?” She smiled briefly, her eyes watered and her lips pursed into a frown almost immediately after. “Kitten,” his heart was aching; like the muscle was begging his brain to make her pain stop. “What’s wrong? Do you need a doctor? Why can’t you—”

Harry couldn’t stop looking at her, so he didn’t see the way her fingers fiddled at her waist and pulled something from her pocket. He didn’t notice when she reached back up to put a positive pregnancy test in front of him.

He blinked a few times trying to make sense of what she was saying without saying it. He sat up and took her with him, so they swayed a little more on the swing with the shift. Harry grabbed the plastic from her hands and stared at the lines trying to understand faster, but his brain was mush. He thought she was going to leave him. Thought she was ill. Nothing made sense. “I owe you a massive apology for being so mean,” she whispered. “But if it’s any consolation, it wasn’t me. It was the baby. We’ll have to parent her for being so mean to you when she gets out here.”

“She?!” He croaked his hands shaking as he held the test in his hands begging his brain to understand faster.

“Oh,” she smiled and put a hand on the top of her stomach. “I don’t know, but I hope so.”

His eyes dropped to the way her hand gently rubbed her stomach, there was no bump or anything. But it didn’t matter. “Oh, thank God,” he sighed with relief and pulled her to him. He kissed the side of her head and squeezed her gently minding her body so he wouldn’t squish the baby.

She giggled. “I’m sorry, Harry. I really didn’t mean to be so mean—”

“No,” he shook his head. “Do not apologize,” he dropped the test behind her and then cupped her face. “I can’t believe I didn’t know,” he mumbled and then peppered kisses along her cheeks and then all over her face.

She smiled, blushed, and giggled again as he made a valiant effort to kiss every inch of her face. “I imagine I would have bit your head off if you asked if I was pregnant.”

He chuckled breathily over her skin and then worked down her neck to continue his kisses. He pushed her back down and dotted more kisses over her body until he got to her stomach. “You were very mean,” he whispered to her body. “I thought Mummy was going t’break up with me.”

“Harry Styles, don’t be ridiculous or I will be mad,” she rolled her eyes.

“Kitten,” he lifted his head to hover over her again. He smiled a real smile that he hadn’t felt spread across his face in weeks. “You are incredible.”

She smiled. “I love you.”

His heart felt healed almost instantly. He missed that phrase coming from her mouth the way it sounded then. Happy. He groaned, like he was in pain for so long and the relief was just too overwhelming. “Please, please, say it again.”

She laughed and pulled him by the neck to her mouth and kissed him hard. He moaned softly, realizing how much he was missing her soft lips on his. He melted into the kiss, traced her lower lip with the tip of his tongue. Eventually he pulled away and she turned his head so she could speak into his ear. “I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you,” he kissed her again. “And you,” he placed his hand on her stomach and brushed his thumb over her shirt. “Even if you were very mean to us,” he mumbled.

“I’ll forgive her; it’s gotta be hard being conceived in a shower.”

He chuckled, his cheeks burning a little hotter. “Kitten,” he smirked and pushed her hair behind her ear. Maybe it was his imagination, but she looked like she was truly glowing, and he thought she was beautiful, unearthly gorgeous since he saw her pictures, since he met her in person… but somehow, she looked even more beautiful and he didn’t know how it was possible. “Not in front of the baby.”

“Well, the baby is going to have to get used to that very quickly,” she warned, wrinkling her nose with a knowing smile as a blush crept to her cheeks as well.

Stunning. He thought to himself.

“Because now that I know why I was very angry, I think I have to make it up to you. A lot. Like maybe even right now.”

He smirked. “Kitten, you are doing the most incredible thing in the world and you’re sacrificing so much with your body and mind... Y’don’t have to do anything for me.”

She almost pondered about that for a minute. “Well, I won’t lie, it’s going to be for me too.”

He laughed. “Then you can have whatever you want, kitten.”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “I guess you better feed us first,” she suggested.

“Excellent point,” he stood from the swing and then scooped her up in almost the same movement.

“You don’t have to carry me.”

“Oh, kitten. Y’went like a whole month and a half or so without me being crazy. Y’better get used to it.”

She smiled, pressed her head to his shoulder as he brought her back inside. She’d let him be insane for the night, he figured. “I think this is it, Harry. We’re stuck together for life now.”

“That’s exactly how I want it, kitten.”

--

general taglist: @daydreamingofmatilda @summertime-pills @loving-hazz @daphnesutton @angel-upon

@toosarcastic03 @love-letters-to-uranus @crossyourpeter @kissitnhekitchen @indierockgirrl

@stylesfever @michellekstyles @hermionelove @vikiii07 @prettygurl-2009

@mads3502 @triski73 @angeldavis777 @me-undiscovered @you-sunshine

@rose-girls-world @avas-daniel @spinninc @fangirl509east @sideboobrry11

@allmyinterestsworld @harry2121 @hsandts4l @stylesftcher @ilovezaynmalik08

@osorto @sittinginthegardern @shimmerygloss @ghostlyscene13 @makytka

@unfuckwitablenarry @harrysgurll @hannah9921 @vrittivsanghavi @ameliaalvarez06

@elizapotter24 @allannahdaisy @jam1esl0v4 @sincerely-yours-marsbar @aileen1237

@madishouse @st-ev-ie @jovialtacofury @babegoals @castawaycreature

@jerseygirlinca @swag13r @boredhsblog @asta80fishbowl @maddiemikaelson28 @withoutluv @mariamuses @run-for-the-hills @mattieshattuck1 @marroonwitch @eversincehs1 @outofthisworl-d @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @bethiegurl19 @harrystylesconcepts @psicostyles @sstylezzz @jewlmin @starstruckcrusadeblaze @swag313gurl

I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you want to read my other work check out my Masterlist.