i don’t know how i’m feeling. maybe i’m in shock. i don’t want to believe that my sister’s accident happened. i don’t want any of it to be real. i want her to be okay again. i want her to have her arm back. i want her to have everything back.
i’m feeling low, like everything that’s happened is just another reason for me to stop going. i don’t wanna go anymore. i just wanna lay in bed. i don’t wanna go to class, tutor, or teach tomorrow. i wanna sleep. i want jude to be here. i want him to make me feel safe. i want him to make me feel okay. i want him to hold me.
i think i feel hollow. i feel empty without jude, and i feel useless being away from becky and my dad during all of this. can we please go back to saturday before any of this happened and becky was okay? and then can we fast forward to when jude is here? it would be perfect.
