let's fuck some shit up

I’m sorry that you are sick. Do you need any medicine or soup or something? 

Oh my god how is it possible for so much nice to be in such a small person.  I mean soup sounds fucking great but I haven't been doing weed cuz I don't want to end up giving myself a lung infection or what the fuck ever, so I'm ornery as fuck.  You probably don't want to be around me.

Pretty sure I just did.  Fucking find your way around and quit acting so damn pathetic.

Playing up the cutesy blonde damsel in distress act.  Feeding into the stereotype.  It's obnoxious, cut it out.

Really not breaking the "blonde" stereotype...

People like you sicken me.

No, don’t be: I learn to ignore it…or blow up at the person who asked it, which means they’ll never ask again. The second one gets better results, but whatever. You know, I wasn’t even gonna ask. Yup, I am. Day…three, I think.

Both pretty fucking valid options in my opinion.  Oh thank fuck - usually it's "what is it, tell me, I won't tell anyone."  Yeah, I'd bet my entire beer bottle collection that's a lie.  Oh sweet, we needed some new people around here.  It was getting stale as fuck.

You’re seem pretty cool, Molly. I’m Jett and I don’t think we’ve met. But I could have been high too. 

Yeah that's because I'm pretty much the only chill person at this school.  Oh thank fuck, finally someone who sees the importance of being high.

I like it, but constantly getting asked, “oh, like the boys name?” get’s kind of old. Molly isn’t too bad: you could be named Beatrice. Yeah, at least so.

Ah yeah - shit my bad.  Sorry dude.  Molly isn't too bad, but that's not really my name, just a nickname.  And no, I don't tell people my real name.  You new here?

It is? Wow, never heard that before. Hey, that’s my logic: why drink less when you can drink more?

Nah it's chill - dude names for chicks are rad.  My name's fucking stupid, so.  At least we can agree on something.

Fuckin’ exactly. I’m a pretty blunt person and it’s hard not to offend people here whenever I talk. I don’t care though. Being friends with everyone isn’t important to me.

Some girl was offended for like a year because I called her an asshole - which was pretty entertaining because asshole is like the least offensive name I could have called her.  Yeah, same here.  You're chill, and I'm Molly.  Don't think we've met before - if we did I was probably really high.

My name’s Jared, actually. Ooh, I know that feeling. You’d still wake up with a hangover, though, so your logic is invalid.

Jared?  Isn't that a dudes name?  I'm Molly - and no shit, I wasn't being serious.  Don't worry, I've got it covered, I've already started drinking again.  Only way to get rid of a hangover is to get smashed.

I’m not being sarcastic at all. But that’s nice. I don’t really think at all. I just do.

Yeah me too to be honest or some shit.  People aren't spontaneous enough, you feel me?  Especially around here, holy fuck everyone's boring.  And very easily offended.

Pft, you’ll be fine. Just take some Advil, drink some water and maybe take a nap. Then boom, you’re all good.

I was planning on just drinking more Vodka.  Only thing that cures a hangover is to drink more, amirite?

As lovely as that logic is, it depends on what problem you’re going to regret in the morning. 

Well little miss sassy italics, considering how drunk I was last night, I'm assuming they were telling me I was going to be hungover as fuck this morning.