hi i’m Teddy

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

I hate gamers…

skyrim fans, grab your shouting

Pokemon fans, grab your balls

this event is cancelled

princess peach at the sperm bank

nothing could have prepared me for that comment

mario at the sperm bank

This, too, is yuri

Is there a reversed version of this I can use to tell my lesbian friends I think they’re a bad fit?

i didnt

what’s wrong? you’ve barely touched my spores

touch my spores.

why aren’t you touching them

why do you hate spores. and me. and potential losses of autonomy

it dawned on me earlier when i was explaining dodge vipers to a friend who doesn't know cars how fucking insane they were

no airbags is fucking insane; please tell me it at least has seatbelts

it did have seatbelts! it did not have external door handles though lol

starting to think some of yall arent serious bout finding beauty in the grotesque

they cant even find beauty in fat ppl