Prayers from a Modern Maya Scribe

I think the ruminating is because I trust Kaloomte's senses a lot in terms of sensing danger and safety, and I'm concerned that he might be spotting something dangerous that I don't I frequently need to borrow other people's eyes.

The specific purpose of the MMS blog is to process topics related to health, religion, Biblical stuff, christiany in general. I made it after a conversation with my freaking SAINT of a manager, Kaloomte Soloman; he said "I want to engage with your thoughts" but that he can't stay caught up with just messaging. Hence me making a blog so that he could peruse at his own convenience "Centralize the information, decentralize the action" <- a Bex Specs heuristic/ part of my Ferengi book of acquisition parody -- I could do like, Bex Zen, but I don't want to be disrespectful of those religions.

Pretty pictures make reading much more compelling. The tiny little serotonin spurt caused by something beautiful really helps kick my dopamine limbic system and I want to be able to do the same for others. Sometimes *just* reading text feels dry and tedious and pretty pictures help break that fatigue up

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I need to bring the fundraiser store back online

But yeah (thx fer ur grace cause I know this is message 4 lol) : My action items on hunting and ranching as a means of self-care are

Call my aunt Kathy in the morning and try to get a sense of how butchering’s going and whether or not thy had a good year. When they can’t afford to give us beef they still offer us a pretty steep discount. It’s tricky because they’re absolutely the kind of people who would give you the shirt off their own back and I don’t want to encourage them to over-extend themselves If they’re struggling

brainstorm ways to get me out to the ranch and to be able to bring back enough beef to last me through poverty times again. I might add to my fundraiser store again. I was gonna link it but I always take the store link down when I’m not super super broke out of like, embarrassment if that makes sense. My friend Jared placed a giant order from the fundraiser store (like $140 worth of stuff) so I plan to take requests from him if he wants a specific Ganas-branded design).

write out all possible forms of revenue and taking care of myself until I’m well enough to contribute to the ca’ah in a responsibility role

identify hunting possibilites in the midwest BUT (And this is extremely important), I cannot hunt on the sacred lands of the indigenous nations who serve as Land Guardians/Stewards of their ancestral land without integrating and giving back to them first. Like I’m not even gonna research getting my hunting license here until I can connect with the Land Guardians

After I’m able to connect with the Land Guardians, it would mean a LOT if you’re down to let me bring you and the coaches / pillars etc to an intertribal council. Intertribal pow-wows are public so we can bring anyone to those, but some indigenous spaces require more privacy, and if integration with the local nations seems like we’d benefit from bringing you to a round-table it’s so so so important to do that

list the local land stewards and nations, then contact their reps.

HUNTING, FISHING, FARMING, DRIVING MEAT UP TO CHICAGO STUFF Butchering season already started but I’mma contact my Aunt Kathy again tomorrow get set up with her directly and hopefully get out there asap. She is regularly like “Bring your city friends and their kids down here so we can teach them how to shoot/hunt/ride horses/be part of sustainable and honorable cattle ranching”, but a ranch in the middle of nowhere with no cell signal is kind of a hard sell for some people ☠️

I took one boyfriend there in college and he was like, super uncomfortable at how deserted it was so I didn’t bring anyone else, not even my ex-husband, just because its such a sacred place to me, but I think the world is ready again and that these skills matter a lot.

While I’m out there I might be able to get some game too (rabbit, quail) and bring that back for when I’m poor again. I have to look into hunting practices in the midwest, but me and a lot of country Indian /cowboy people would be able to meet our protein needs much more easily if we were allowed to hunt. I have to connected with the indigenous nations of the hunting territory and I can only hunt with people who are committed to doing it with honor/expressing love and gratitude for the animal, but if I can get set up with hunting here then I can get my own game, add it to my someday deep freezer, and not have to experience rapid protein loss if I’m poor again

Iron and B-vitamin deficiency is my most common ailment in these most recent years. The stomach acid from bulimia just really truly wrecks the inside of your mouth. Steak helps with the iron and it’s like a very low-energy needed meal for me but there’s other ways to fix my iron and other deficiencies.

My plushcare doctor referred me to getting my labs done like, last year, but I was like “who in the world has time and money to do that”, so I have never had my labs done. I get blood tests when I have a really excruciating endo pain ER visit but I have managed to stay out of the ER for months and I’d like to stay out of it for years, I hate hospitals lol (is your fam okay, btw?)

Anyway, that’s three messages so I will cease to add new messages and paste these in the blog instead, but the TL:DR; is just that my country cowboy fam wants to take care of me and I want to take care of them back (by selling their beef, I think? I’m brainstorming other forms of mutual aid for my fam that relies on agriculture to survive; things change so rapidly in this country that we’re pretty much living year to year).

The gun laws in the midwest seem like its going to be tough to bring out a hunting rifle, so I’m going to ask my cousins to teach me how to hunt with a crossbow or a bow and arrow (they’re excellent and generous hunters and I want to team up with them anyway to get hides for my leabthercrafting).

My cousins are like rodeo/calf-roping champs and they taught me the basis of lassoing/calf roping but I want to get better at it (I want to be able to do horseback archery hunting after the supply chain collapses). I really gotta start writing down the costs and steps associated with being able to hunt what I need for my own well-being / for my family because its what gives us dignity and keeps us safe

ANYWAY thanks again for your patience and sorry for the ramble. This’ll go in the blog under something like “Hunting and Personal Sovereignty” or somethin idk haha . I am tryna unmask and let my inner accent and stuff come out again but I spent so long fighting it that now unmasking is a challenge haha. The thing cowboys and Indians all have in common is that we like really aggressively prefer to hunt and provide in the traditional ways, with honor, and it can be tough to explain that (the divide in this country isn’t red vs blue, I feel like it’s urban vs rural but Quien Sabe/Who knows)

Journaling about: Convos with kaloomte

When you're the type of chaos writer that I am, the first step always has to be create, create, create -- like, the only job of the first draft is to exist -- and THEN create categories. If I put the boxes ahead of the work it always ends up stifling me in a stressful way, as much as I fraking LOVE containers and decorative Boxes

^ it's really interesting. This song just came on and I felt a twinge of stress because I kinda traumatized Nikko with indigenous religious foundations and I associated it with that I *cannottttt* get into the habit of letting conventionally attractive, religious white men override my identity or I'll lose my mind. Colonizer sickness has wrekt so many loved ones who have drifted in and out of my ca'ah* --- *ca'ah is a Maya word for community. Language revitalization happens on word at a time https://open.spotify.com/track/6feGqwWQQtN7D6OABY7L2R?si=3f72efb3a8b04823 <- link to the song for easy access. Writing this out gave me the urge to dump it in the inbox of Suku'un-il Ba'ah* --

*Suku'un : brother "-il" prefix makes it "my brother" "ba'ah" is the eldest and usually the eldest born with masc-like attributes (I think Black american communities might use terms like "stud" for queer woman mascs; I use "Yaax Che" for this meaning until Ancestors want me to stop doing that/learn a new word

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