Balam Kan Has Come Alive

This is where we’re headed

This is what I want with you

I want to return to a place in the nighttime where we felt

Safe

In a past life

In a quiet house

At the end of the

Of a long

Journey. I want to love you, freely, and without fear or shame

Till I’m dead.

——

I want to be curled next to you with my head on the pectoral you put your preaching portents / medicine on, wrapped around you like a snake with proper respectfulness and adoration, and

I want to be nakey and not ashamed about it, and

Not afraid,

And

Able to miss and miss and kiss a very specific spot under ur jawbone and

Able to listen to you read the manual out loud at night

Before we visit

Eden

Of

There is an extremely important lesson to be had here about giving a shit but I am so revolted by my brief fall into the underworld (satanic) (can we blame Satan) (I know this is my fault but I feel like this was poison) that I need to ease into it.

I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THINGS I DONT LIKE

I want to talk about things I DO LIKE

LOOK AT HIMMMMM

I ain’t even know they made white Guys like that AY PAPI CHULO COME LET ME MAKE U LATINO FOR REAL

Petition to make red and white the new Medicine colors in our House cause you knowwwwwww

We can honor tradition and still honor differences

And I love the idea of private facing medicine colors

And I wanna make a buncha Pink children I guess idk god what do I want here? To love u with all my heart and all my soul and

Rough day to be an archivist with gross boy disease. Can confidently say there is no longer any allure here like there is nothing I would prefer to think about *less* than this right now. I am so fucking glad he ghosted this was insanely gross and gay feeling and not in a not fun way. Stumbling back on this is burning my eyes like Jesus h Christ

UGH

I want to just delete the whole thing but not before I decry it FERVENTLY

There is no forbidden fruit bullshit appeal here like I’m not hiding this in a fun way. I know who I want, that has not changed, everyone is aware of who I want, and this was a nightmarish stop in animal land and I would like to be MORE THAN JUST AN ANIMAL PLEASE EW