me, in mock trial: your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the theme for my opening statement is "literally everyone in this problem is a shit witness"

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@mocktrialfe
me, in mock trial: your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the theme for my opening statement is "literally everyone in this problem is a shit witness"

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When you're trying to prepare expert testimony
-get home from 3-day mock trial tournament -shower -eat dinner -analyze ballots for hours
What you really wish you could say on cross when a witness rambles on and on:

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When teams have over dramatized witnesses
me, in mock trial: your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the theme for my opening statement is "literally everyone in this problem is a shit witness"
When you realized 3 questions into your direct examination that your witness is unprepared
there’s this rush of adrenaline and confidence and just general badassery that happens to you when you’re up speaking to the court, and lemme tell ya, nothing rivals that
Bitches bow down for a badass in a suit
me, in a courtroom (via mercurialink)

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What expert witnesses think they look like when using demonstratives
When you cut a witness off on cross but then they keep talking.
That piece of evidence you really hate:
When the crossing attorney tries to bully your witness
attorney: I re-wrote your direct.
Witness: Again?!
Attorney: maybe.

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witness: She would have shot him anyway.
Defence: Objection speculation. The witness can not know what the defendant would have done.
Plaintiff: He’s her best friend your honor....
When someone comes in and blows up your direct but you love it because now its ten times stronger.