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The negative use of “boyfriend” in this context matched a common pattern among radical feminists to posit attraction to men, as well as men in general, as deeply inferior.
The presentation of attraction to women, including queer attraction to women, as being something experienced only by lesbians, and not by, for example, bisexual women was also a red flag.
What proved the concern was valid
+ Delegitimizes the identities of a variety of genders and sexualities.
+ Delegitimizes the identities of other lesbians who don’t meet arbitrary standards.
+ Mocks people for using self degrading humour, on the grounds that their sexuality is unacceptable.
+ Believes that people should not create new language to describe phenomena they experience.
+ Engages with other radical feminist dogwhistling posts*.
+ Believes that women in relationships with other women who do not identify as lesbians do not and cannot describe the harassment and oppression they face as lesbophobia.
+ Denies the possibility that people for whom performing a high standard of femininity is necessary or preferable may experience specific forms of backlash for doing so, a belief which disproportionately targets sex workers and transfeminine people.
+ Claims that- solely on the basis of sexual identity- some people tend to be unusually homophobic, and that creating their own language to describe their experiences is an act of homophobia when done by these people.
+ Mocks people who attempt to establish boundaries and protect themselves by others, as well as blames violence faced by people on victims rather than the violators.
+ Rejects and mocks people who have relationships they personally are not comfortable with, as well as rejecting the centuries long history of association between those people and queer society.
+ Claims that queer organizations should not be allowed or encouraged to focus on the subjects chosen by the members of that organization, but should instead center on other topics.
+ Alleges child molestation against fictional characters; these characters are legally and sexually adults, in addition to not actually being real.
In what ways are these actions concerning
The policing of other people’s language stops people from having discussions about their experiences or begin to address community problems directly. This prohibits building strong communities and enables exploitative and abusive people to exert control over queer spaces. It exacerbates existing divisions and makes queer spaces unsafe for a large number of people.
Accusing queer people, especially queer men, of child molestation when they are engaging in consensual, noncriminal relationships directly contributes to the death, legal limitation, and physical abuse of queer people. In modern times, it is especially popular a tactic among extreme right wing authoritarians who seek the extinction of queer people as a whole.
Denying people the ability to make fun of themselves and their own experiences is an abusive tactic that prevents people from understanding trauma and combatting oppression in their own lives.
Policing the gender expression of others is self-evidently transphobic, as well as sexist.
*Although engaging with a dogwhistle is not necessarily evidence of radical feminist thoughts and beliefs, in the context of other posts and statements, it is an additional concern.
As always, the OP may not be a true and complete radical feminist, with all the political beliefs that entails. However, this post is presented in such a way as to make trans people, sex workers, and others often targetted by radical feminist and it’s descendant movements feel unsafe. Followup research revealed that that discomfort was warranted.
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