HONEY HUES

      seo yujun doing charity work—a laughable sight. it’s not so absurd though, really. not if you think about it hard enough. squint just a little. his heart isn’t made of pure gold. ( brassy sheen. cool to the touch. that kind of gold. ) it’s none of the above. that was stripped of him a long time ago in these very halls. but if you look closely here and there, you’ll find traces of it. tarnished maybe, but there all the same. broken pieces and fragments of what used to be.

      the trek to the apartment is familiar. too familiar. the laziness in his bones wears him down, and yet it propels him. walking him further and further along the worn sidewalk like it was second nature. ( it should be at this point. ) he could do it in his sleep if he’s being honest. ( probably already has. )

      upon arriving at the door, he can only marvel at the ability of his muscle memory. ( his drunk, crossfaded, all kinds of fucked up, but still, muscle memory all the same. ) if he were more polite, less impatient, less impulsive, he might have knocked first to at least warn hanbin of his presence. perhaps give the elder some buffer time to prepare for whatever storm he’s been brewing. unfortunately, he’s none of those things tonight. tonight he whispers a quick alohomora, wand in hand, and just like that the door opens for him with a click—it’s that simple.

      “hanbin hyung,” he calls like he owns the place. it’s in his posture. the way he walks around the living room. the thud that sounds when he falls onto the couch, making himself comfortable on its frayed surface. “stop studying or whatever and let’s go do something.”

      in all truth he’s got a plan. these days hanbin’s stress levels have been through the roof. so much so that it’s making yujun stressed out as well. and so the baek ho really has no choice but to intervene. for hanbin’s sake, yes. but also for his own, if anything. so is it charity work if it’s partially for his own benefit? ( let’s just say yes for now. )

      “i’m bored,” he whines as if this was plenty of reason. as if this was the end all be all. he pulls out his juul, inhaling deeply before letting the thick cloud of smoke rise up and out. fogging up his vision in all the right places. blueberry. one of his favorite flavors. “hang out with me tonight.”

      he’s a creature of habit. it’s what seven years of reckless spontaneity does to a man. tonight, however, was not something he pulled out of thin air. no, tonight was his usual. it’s a typical friday, and that means typical friday nights, which should ( for every twenty something year old with a social life ) consist of typical end of the week havoc. by now his body acts on its own accord. dancing lazily to the loud bass. clutching his red solo cup tight as if it has always belonged there. the whole nine yards. the hexed soju has begun to wear off by now, leaving only a slight buzz in its wake. it’s fine. ( he swears. ) he’s been in worse conditions before. tonight, he can handle himself. 

      exhibit a: he’s able to walk on his own two feet all the way back to the baek ho dorms in one piece.

      exhibit b: this week’s password comes easily in the form of a hushed whisper. the portrait hole swings open. he’s in. simple as that.

      something akin to pride swells in his chest as he steps through the entrance and into the common room. for a boy adorned in red and gold, hubris is bound to follow isn’t it? envelope him tight in the sensation. wrap itself around his heart with a firm, strong grip. it was almost too easy. almost. but alas, luck never seemed to be on his side.

      he sees the outline of a familiar person in the corner of the room, made only visible by the early morning moonlight. but even that is enough for him to realize how screwed he is. “saerim noona,” he calls out, lips curling into a tight smile. he’s already bracing for the berating that’s soon to come. “you can stop hiding now, i can literally see the top of your head.”

      he’s really hoping he’ll be able to charm himself out of this one. after all, he’s done worse, been worse, seen worse. surely she’ll let this one slide, right? probably. ( but with saerim one could never be too sure. )

      a little over a month into school and he’s already looking for ways to pull his grades up. this is a new record for him. usually it’s towards the end of semester that the scrambling for extra points begins. ( seventh year has already seen some changes in him it seems. ) call it intuition if you will. he’s just preparing for later down the road when this extra credit assignment will ( inevitably ) come in clutch.

      said assignment has him carrying his notebook and pen down to the alchemy classroom after typical class hours. an unusual sight maybe, ( he’s usually on the quidditch field at around this time ) but again, it’s his final year. some changes are bound to happen. ( he needs to graduate. get into grad school. go through all the motions of becoming an auror. you know, all the boring stuff. ) unfortunately for yujun, however, a quick glance through the threshold of the door reveals he’ll be having some company tonight—not what he had hoped for, but he’s used to his plans going awry by now. whatever, he doesn’t mind sharing anyways.

      the student’s back is to him, too preoccupied with whatever is brewing in their cauldron to notice his footsteps echoing quietly throughout the room.“hi, do you mind if i—“ the recognition hits. he remembers her. her smile. her voice. her eyes. not too long ago all of that would have sparked something in him. interest? excitement? something like that. time has passed though and with it comes the dwindling of the flame. thus was his routine. always shallow. always quick.

      he hasn’t seen her since he cut it off, not on purpose though—just by chance. but yujun’s learned that often times it’s better not to run into his past flings. one way or another, feelings are caught on the other end and things just end up messy. he’s not sure what meihua’s case is, but he’s hoping she’s not the crazy type. so he takes a breath and hopes for the best.

      late nights were always second nature to him. he’s used to it—the smell of midnight, crisp and cold. tonight though, was different. ( that’s how all the stories begin anyways. ) he really did intend to sleep early tonight. with year seven and counting, the pressure to graduate with more than just plain, decent grades is starting to take its toll. if not for himself, then maybe to show something to his uncle. ( here. i’m capable. let me in. ) the quiz tomorrow is small, but yujun wants to get enough rest anyways to make up for his sloppy, procrastination filled cram session.

      the call comes right after he’s gotten comfortable in bed. if it wasn’t for his terrible eyesight, he would have probably let it go to voicemail. but alas, he can’t tell the difference between the green and red icons without his contacts on.

      it’s alarming how quickly he jumps out of the covers, phone in hand. feet scrambling to find shoes. glasses thrown on haphazardly. he apparates to her apartment door quickly. carelessly. luckily, he didn’t seem to have spliced himself in the process. ( she’s lucky. )

      the landing made his glasses fall down the bridge of his nose slightly. he reaches to push them back up. god, he hates wearing them. his hand is raised and poised to knock when he falters, curled fingers still lingering between the door and whatever lay beyond. is this too much? perhaps. it was instinct that drove him here in the first place. the cortisol is still being pumped through his veins ( lightening white, and hot to the touch. ) then again, he’s seo yujun. too sure of himself to second guess. too confident to look back.

      this is normal. this is what friends do. especially at times like these. at times when there’s a sharp, raw pain gnawing at the seams. a wound being opened over and over again with each rising of the sun. he knows only a small fraction of what she might be feeling, but maybe that was enough.

      yujun’s convinced the yosul resident librarian is a bit sadistic. the reading room is always kept five degrees colder than it should be, probably for said sadist’s entertainment. whoever the librarian is, they probably like watching students freeze to death or something. whatever, he doesn’t come here often anyways, having always been more of empty classroom type of guy. it’s spontaneous. how his feet lead him here on a whim. but he’s never questioned impulses like that, he just follows them. same old, same old.

      it seems half the school had the same idea though, almost every seat in the library is taken. he walks up and down the aisles, eyes scanning. after doing a few laps around the room, however, it becomes apparent that there’s only one seat left available. it’s a nice spot—right next to the big windows. an equally as nice view. he gets why she chose it. what he doesn’t get is why no one else did either.

      time should eventually mend all things. water should continue to flow, slow and steady, passing under every bridge. all that and more—these are the things that should happen. clearly, yujun was always some sort of exception. he’s really starting to hate that.

      all he can do is sigh. then, ( finally ) he takes the first step towards the seat. towards her. it’s resolute and cautious all at once. he’s still not sure how to approach her even after all this time. how can he when there’s still that dull, blunt kind of ache that never fails to hit him square in the chest whenever he sees her? is it because he never got proper closure? ( it must be. )

      “hey,” he breathes. the hand that’s not carrying books automatically comes up to run through his hair. he really needs to grow up. nerves are for broken hearted third years. he’s so far beyond that now. ( right? )

hey y’all it me, yumi & i highkey should NOT be bringing another muse when i’m fifty years behind replies for sunwoo but 🤷🏻‍♀️. anyways, here i am with seo yujun ! he’s kinda messy. he’s a big headache.*vine vc* he need some milk. as usual, his profile can be found here, i can be found on discord at yumi wants a spidermark#1724, and a rundown of yosul’s finest can be found under the cut ! drop a like if you want me to come find you in ims for plotting, which i’ll get around to eventually .. .. . after i get my shit together. kk, that’s it from me. luv u. peace ! ✌🏻