Final Fantasy 15 is so funny. It's like what if we psychologically tortured a boyband
Mike Driver

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YOU ARE THE REASON
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

if i look back, i am lost

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@mmysbathotw
Final Fantasy 15 is so funny. It's like what if we psychologically tortured a boyband

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Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs
People in my notes who think I’m repressed or dissociating: you will feel better when you learn emotions are not a binary of Not Feeling It vs Being Overwhelmed By It
submitted by antifeature
What year is this
There’s so much more going on with this picture and it’s making me absolutely flip my lid over just how ridiculous it is. So this is from the game “Flight Rising,” which is basically a really cool and on-going virtual pet game that’s basically Neopets, but with DRAGONS. It’s pretty neat. The highlight of this game is that the dragons are all customizable, have their own unique set of genes, and there’s also a breeding aspect. Depending on the type of dragon, there’s a different “cool-down time” in which you can breed these dragons, which can range waiting anywhere between 15 to 35 consecutive days. REAL LIFE DAYS. You can’t manually adjust the clock on your computer to accomplish this, only old-fashioned waiting will count. On top of that, you have to manually click an “incubate” button on the brooding dragon’s nest 5 days in a row in order to successfully hatch a nest of eggs on the sixth day. And depending on the type of dragons you breed, you might only get 1-5 eggs, with a maximum cap of 4 eggs per clutch if the mating dragons are of the same breed. Getting 5 eggs in a single clutch is so uncommon, that there’s even an in-game achievement for it.
And this is the thing that gets me: all of these dragons are offspring from the same parent dragon, so in order to accomplish this, they not only had to write all of the lyrics in the song correctly AND assign the correct lyrics to each individual dragon baby based on hatching order, they also had to potentially WAIT upwards of an ENTIRE MONTH OR MORE between *each and every* hatching, in small batches of 1-5 dragons AT A TIME, in order to write the full lyrics. The amount of patience and sheer dedication to perfectly execute something of this precise level is absolutely phenomenal. ALL OF THIS, FOR A FUNNY SONG ABOUT LLAMAS FROM A SILLY, ANCIENT FLASH VIDEO FROM THE VINTAGE YEAR OF 2004 DEVIANTART MEMES.
Just… bless the internet.
I just searched for one of these dragons and found out the parents’ names are AlbinoBlackSheep and Newgrounds!!
I was thinking about this again, because it’s so funny and so stupid, I love it.
Anyway, the breeding cooldown for the parents is 15 days, so it’s the shortest cooldown they can have, and the dragons are different breeds, so the 5 egg nest is possible. All of the children on this list have been exalted, which essentially means they’ve been taken out of the game, no one can own them anymore, so they can never be renamed, and the list remains pure.
Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.
xemnas is the laziest motherfucker on god’s green earth
#‘sir all of our plans are falling apart’#‘like horribly’#‘right in front of our eyes’#‘sir what are your orders about how to fix this situation’#‘My orders are for you to bring me another bowl of popcorn’#‘sir?’#'I need to have a snack while I watch everything go to hell in a handbasket’ (via)

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rewatched chicken run
I think that if you had enough daughters AND played your cards right you could spring Mambo Number Five out at the EXACT right gathering and shatter your entire family's trust forever
The secret is to name them out of order with the lyrics so by the time anyone catches on it's too late
For me personally the ideal gathering would be my funeral
A little bit for Monica, she's my wife
A little bit for Erica, for her strife
My books all go to Rita, cause she reads
My greenhouse goes to Tina, she plants trees
The furniture is Sandra's, on my lawn
Jewelry for Mary, she can pawn
Ashes go to Jessica, that's my plan
A little bit of me inside a can (ah!)
playing erdtree with my pal we get invaded by someone named "Drip Inspector" and im like "waitwaitwait. ok lets just pose leaning back to back and wait for them to show up maybe our outfits will be so good they wont kill us"
so we wait until they show up and then they get reaaaal close to us . and then pull out their telescope and start circling around us and zooming in for a good 30 seconds. then they clap, use the "wonderful" and "youre beautiful" prattling pates, and jump off a cliff. invader vanquished
Trying to find an old tumblr post I used to see a lot.
It started with someone listing "places with uncanny energy," like gas stations on a road trip, empty movie theaters, etc.
Then someone reblogged it and said those are called "liminal spaces," defining liminal as in-between, neither one thing nor another.
It was the first time I'd seen the term "liminal" applied to places like that, and it's driving me crazy, I want to find and put a date on it so bad.
NEVER MIND, I FOUND IT!!!
Holy shit I just realized:
Tomorrow (July 4th, 2026) is the 10 year anniversary of the-crepes-of-wrath's comment, which:
Predates the 2020 spike in interest by four years
Predates the original backrooms post, and the the creation of r/liminalspaces by three years
Predates the earliest mention that KnowYourMeme attributes to Twitter by two years
I'm pretty sure this is the moment the term "liminal spaces" was attached to this sort of imagery, and it's TEN YEARS OLD TOMORROW!
LIMINAL SPACES TURN TEN TOMORROW! CELEBRATE BY GETTING LOST IN AN ABANDONED MALL!
Albert Square, Manchester (1910) by Adolphe Valette | Contemporary Art (2015) by Emily Allchurch
the top is an original, from 1910, the bottom is a new version painted in 2015
THE BOTTOM IS A PAINTING????
also does a really good job reminding the view just how much air quality has improved since we stopped burning coal in every building lol

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FUCK AMERICA HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY CEASAR SALAD 🇲🇽🇲🇽🇲🇽❗❗❗
Found myself wanting to say that "consuming text is easy and passive, unlike video which requires active effort to watch" and then realized this is the opposite of what basically every other human being would say.
#well. on tumblr you get the thunderous applause. #I recall watching Hank Green talk about how under intense stress he didn’t want to read a bunch of text #he wanted a video to explain things to him #and even though it should have been obvious that a VIDEO CREATOR likes video #my mind was moderately boggled #what do you MEAN you find video EASIER and lower effort #that’s not a real thing - via @tuesdayisfordancing
at work we have a bartender named tyler and he collects wine corks so we put them in a little box for him and another bartender makes fun of him cause his t’s look like l’s so she wrote “lyler’s corks” and i saw it this morning and i grabbed a marker and changed the ‘c’ to a ‘g’
and after he left a bartender came up to me and said “aww lyler left his gorks” and i lost it
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful
Holy fuck my job got fan art
hey. is this yours?
HOLY SHIT
why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic
He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.
Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.
Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.
And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?
Capitalism is disgusting.
Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj
What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

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So apparently, over the summer, Quibi (the shortest-lasting streaming service ever lmao) did a quarantine project called “Home Movie: The Princess Bride” where a bunch of celebrities recreated The Princess Bride in tiny chunks at home.
And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.
So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:
Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:
And it’s all just delightful.
But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.
As Prince Fucking Humperdink.
https://youtu.be/lR8pA_WV9QI
Here ya go
In case you need a comfort watch and because Youtube search nowadays sucks rancid putrescence, I remind you of the Princess Bride Home Movie from the lockdown, starring everybody
At the post office today:
Man with beautiful silver undercut and a coach bag: can I get a sheet of stamps please
Clerk: does it matter what kind?
Man, with homosexual despair: EVerything matters to me, unFORtunately.