dkdcdontinteract

I often refrain from venting when I feel like rambling as it feels like stealing someone's well deserved spotlight. I can't be negative all the time can I? I have to let everyone else show their sad too. That's the least I can do for the smallest of support I can get. I guess I'll just post here instead. I mean, if you don't want to answer to a vent you can just pretend you never saw the post right? Not like I'm doing this for answers. Most of the time I just.. want to share a thought. That's it. Not tire others to try and fight it.

I'm sick of looking and feeling like a disease

Went from weekly to every 3 days to daily I'm so pathetic

Why did you try to "help" yourself you stupid fucking retard you fucked everything up I hate you I HATE YOU SO MUCH I hate myself so much why why must I want to change things I shouldn't even have issue with in the first place!!!

My parents are worried about me. I'll just dissapear.

I'd rather be told I'm gonna be treated like a dog rather than slowly trained to feel like that and then blamed I feel so.

Imma not bother asking for hangouts anymore. Unless asked to, I don't have the energy to ask everyone like usual. Until I don't feel like such a bother like I'm forcing everyone to partake in whatever I wanna do, I'll just stop for a bit. Unless someone WANTS to talk with me, Ill stop.. begging so much. I'm tired.

All words are too difficult now. If I drown, so be it. I'm tired.

I'm SO tired of being a "showoff trophy". They're forcing me to showoff eat in front of a kid, entertain them like I ever said I would and bash me compared to other kids for the smallest issues saying "I should stop going to my doctor then". Then I wonder why I feel so lonely, having to beg for a talk without their fucking insults all the time...ugh...

I got very cute pictures of Rin so now I'm temporarily healed! Still lonely, but healed!!!

That's probably one of the reasons my most peaceful nights were when I had my wife on the phone. I can't be sad or depressive when she's sleeping like that, how could I?

Being on ur own sucks cuz u get too comfortable with your feelings and they get too loud to ignore as your mind reminds u of it constantly cuz there's nothing else to pay attention to

I just want the noise of something else other than my thoughts. I can't be depressive if it'll bring attention, right?

-with no expectation or pressure to be entertaining enough talkative enough... Just silently being there, without needing to do anything at all. Without needing to be acknowledged at all.

I want to lay my head down on her legs and just drown out to whatever noise she's making. A keyboard a computer fan or her speaking to whomever.