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I need something I just don’t know what it is yet

this has been going on for like 20 years by the way.. I will let you all know when I figure it out

No exaggeration but theeeee most critical lesson I learned in my 20s was letting go when it was time. It’s so cliche but it’s so true. I used to hold on so venomously to people, put on a tap dance for their approval, force relationships to last past their expiration date, carry the heavy lifting for reaching out because I didn’t want to feel “passive.” But when someone doesn’t want your effort it’s not about passivity. It’s literally about self respect, not wasting your time, and gravitating only to people who have your best interest in mind and celebrate you. I’ve met so many older people who don’t know how to let go and it truly scares me that this could easily be me. It’s better to develop this skill early than it is to spend an entire lifetime begging for love and belonging.

I’m not ashamed to be seen trying I’m not ashamed to be seen trying I’m not ashamed to be seen trying I’m not ashamed to be seen trying I’m not ashamed to be seen trying I’m not ashamed to be seen trying!!!

Always always always tell people you love they are so smart and capable. I will die on this hill. More often than not people are raised in unforgiving environments that tell them they are inherently “stupid” and not good enough for things, whether that be parents or cruel bosses or unsupportive friends. An underrated way of supporting people is reminding them they are brilliant no matter what anyone has ever said about their intellect and potential. People can do wonders when it’s affirmed to them their limiting beliefs are just that: limiting beliefs.

Best brain hack is taking “this too shall pass” and applying it in the micro. The panic you feel from an argument with a friend, wanting to get on your phone when you should be studying, the absolute obsession with someone you’re crushing on, pain from rejection, utter hopelessness at a situation that is not entirely hopeless. Heavy on situations that induce panic and incentivize you to act out of turn, maybe to send a text you shouldn’t be sending or to blow up at someone or whatever it is. The antidote to knee jerk reactions is literally just “this too shall pass” and allowing yourself to feel the physical manifestation of your extreme emotion. Literally just ride it out. Even for things that can’t immediately be resolved, it makes such a big difference and prevents you from reacting in ways that you would undoubtedly regret down the line.

My one boring tip to anyone in their 20s is to resist the temptation to rot in your room every time you get a free moment. Dismiss any neuroses you have about going outside and "being perceived". Be a dictator about it, plan your hangouts like they are binding commitments. No excuses! Go to the bar with your friends. Be kinda hungover at work. Socializing is like exercise; even if you don't feel like you want to, you should still do it because it's good for you.