#3 phoenix lovr

Oh look. It’s my schedule.

This would all be solved if you had £20,000, the salary of a brigadier general, and a British officer to lie in bed and whimper with you.

am i interrupting something?

sometimes i have a thought so mentally ill i can feel it fizzle in my skull

*presses clear on calculator 10000000 times just to be sure*

Idk, I think the spelling adds a certain junuh say qwa

This month I am doing a challenge called "May" where I try to survive every day in May.

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

me as a 14th century knight: this sucks i'm gonna fms (translator's note: fall on my sword)

Alternatively: fuck my squire

[remembers falling on my sword jokes negatively impact my knight's oath] ...fuck my squire