Pairing: Jackson Joel x Reader
Summary: A short stay in Jackson while youâre looking for your parents turns into something you wouldnât have expected. Now you donât know how to feel about it.
Tags: kinda slow burn, Jackson!joel, hurt and comfort, this is just sad and cute lol
Authorâs note: so glad to be a part of @petalsinblood âs writing challenge! FYI, the formatting was done by an English major because apparently huge blocks of text arenât appealing⌠hope you guys like it! NOT PROOFREAD!
âęłâ
*°ââ.ŕłŕż*:ｼ*â ââ âęłâ
*°ââ.ŕłŕż*:ｼ*â ââ âęłâ
*° âęłâ
*
It was a quiet winter evening when you arrived in Jackson. You were quite surprised by the way the people here could still maintain a community, even after the world had become what it was since the outbreak had started. You werenât very keen on trying to settle or have a social life like the people of Jackson. After all, the outbreak had taken the last ounce of hope in you. And with that hope, your parents.
They werenât dead. You knew they werenât. Itâs not like youâd believe in their deaths anyway. FEDRA had randomly put survivors into groups by age, and these groups were scattered across the country. While your parents were treated like packages and literally shipped off to Texas, you stayed in Billings, Montana, your hometown. Never in your life would you have thought that you had to leave your beloved hometown and start a cross-country trip alone in order to find your parents. The thought of the reunion was the last thing that kept you moving.
While passing through Jackson, you met Tommy and Maria Miller. They still had a lot of hope in life, as Maria was pregnant. You couldnât wrap your head around the fact that someone would want to willingly bring a baby into a world like this. But you kept quiet because you needed a place to stay, or maybe a community to trust.
Four days after your arrival, you were helping Maria with the laundry while Tommy and a few other men from the community were working on a construction site next to their house.
âThereâs one more person you should meet,â Maria said as you walked outside onto the snow-covered front yard. You expected a council member. Maybe a patrol leader. Instead, you stopped in front of someone who looked like he had seen too much of this world already.
The man looked tired in a way that had nothing to do with sleep. Dark curls streaked with grey framed a face that seemed permanently set in a frown. He looked up at the sound of your footsteps, hammer still in hand. His eyes landed on Maria first. Then on you. And something shifted only for a second.
âJoel,â Maria said. After introducing you, she said, âSheâs passing through.â
The words shouldnât have mattered. Yet they lingered between you and the man standing in front of you.
You nodded back. And for reasons you couldnât explain, your heart stumbled.
Before the silence could turn awkward, Tommy stepped in, which you were very thankful for.
âWell,â he said, throwing an arm around your shoulders, âseeing as sheâs gonna be stayinâ with us for a few days, I figure somebody oughta show her around.â
You noticed a grin across his face after he stopped talking.
Joel let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like annoyance.
âBecause youâre friendly,â Maria laughed.
You were on the verge of laughing because even though you had only known Joel for about five minutes, you knew that wasnât true.
âI got things to do,â he said while simultaneously shooting Maria a look.
âAnd those things can wait an hour,â Tommy replied. âCâmon, sheâs never been to Jackson.â
You shifted awkwardly, not wanting to hold eye contact with anyone.
âItâs fine, you really donât have to,â you blurted out.
Joel looked at you then. Really looked at you.
âNo,â he said after a moment. âSâalright.â
He put his hands in the pockets of his jacket and jerked his head toward the street before starting to walk.
âYou cominâ or what?â
For a moment, you considered staying where you were. The man hadnât exactly struck you as enthusiastic about being assigned the role of tour guide. Still, Jackson was unfamiliar territory, and both Tommy and Maria were convinced this was a good idea.
Snow crunched beneath your boots as you caught up to him.
The town was smaller than you had expected. Wooden houses lined the streets, smoke curling from chimneys and disappearing into the pale sky. A few children ran across the streets, their laughter filling the cold air. Nearby, someone was shoveling snow from a porch.
It all felt strangely normal, as if everything that had happened before was a dream and this was a secluded space, safe from everything else, as if the world had never ended. You hated how much that bothered you.
âPeople seem happy here,â you said, trying to make conversation.
His brow furrowed slightly.
âHow are they happy?â
Joel was quiet for a moment. Then he shrugged.
âPeople get used to things.â
This time it was you who frowned.
âTo the fucking apocalypse?â
A faint laugh escaped his lips, though it wasnât quite a laugh.
The silence returned again. It wasnât uncomfortable, just unfamiliar, and you wanted that to change. But you had spent too much time alone on your journey that you werenât sure how conversations work anymore.
âSo,â Joel said eventually, âTommy tells me youâre headed to Texas.â
âMy parents are there.â
âYou know that for sure?â
Joel didnât intend it to sound that cruel. It was supposed to sound practical.
His eyes flickered toward you.
âBut you think they are.â
He probably thought the certainty in your voice sounded ridiculous. Maybe it was. Still, it was all you had. All that kept you moving.
The road opened into a larger area near the center of town. Several people moved between buildings carrying supplies. Others stood talking near a fire barrel. A group of horses waited beside a stable.
âYou got horses?â you asked.
Joel looked mildly surprised.
âHavenât seen one in years.â
âThereâs a few âround.â
You stopped briefly to watch one of them shake snow from its mane. And for the first time since your arrival, a genuine smile tugged at your lips.
Joel noticed. And you noticed that he did.
It felt like he was admiring you. You werenât sure why, but he looked away immediately afterward.
âWe use them for patrols,â he said.
The two of you continued walking. Eventually, you reached a wooden fence overlooking the edge of town. Beyond it stretched endless white fields.
You rested your forearms on the fence, and Joel remained standing beside you.
You gestured toward Jackson.
âThe houses, the families, the lights.â
You hesitated, but something inside you told you to keep talking.
And for the first time, Joelâs expression softened.
Only slightly, but you noticed the way the usual frown of his brows softened, how his eyes opened more.
âHope ainât a bad thing.â
âThatâs easy for you to say.â
âBecause youâve already found your place, Joel. Even in the middle of the fucking apocalypse you have a routine, a community, things to do, fuck, I donât know, people you love.â
The words slipped out before you could stop them.
âShit, Iâm sorry, Joel,â you said, trying to sound like you mean it.
For a second, something unreadable crossed his face.
âNo, sâalright. Maybe youâre right.â
The answer surprised you.
You expected to be yelled at. Instead, he sounded convinced.
The wind picked up again. You rubbed your hands together for warmth. Immediately, Joel noticed.
âLost them a while ago.â
He stared at you in confusion.
âYouâre travelinâ across the damn country in winter without gloves?â
A look crossed his face that reminded you strangely of Maria.
âThatâs not very smart.â
âThe first real thing youâve said to me all afternoon.â
To your surprise, Joel actually smiled.
It was brief, gone almost as quickly as it appeared, but it was there.
âYou always talk this much?â he asked.
âOnly when others donât.â
âMust drive folks crazy.â
âYou havenât run away yet.â
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
The town behind you buzzed softly with life.
You realized you didnât want the walk to end.
That should have worried you.
After all, youâd only known Joel Miller for less than an hour.
Yet standing there beside him made something unfamiliar settle in your chest.
And for the first time since the beginning of your journey, you wanted to stay.
The rest passed easily enough. Joel pointed out a few buildings around town, explaining briefly which ones were used for storage and which housed patrol supplies. Occasionally someone would greet him as they passed, earning a nod in return. By the time you reached Tommy and Mariaâs house, the sky had already begun to darken.
You barely thought about the conversation until the following morning.
The next morning you woke up to the sounds of a happy family. Weird, you still needed to get used to it. But what really caught your attention was the way your boots sat neatly beside the door.
Confused, you stood up and walked to them.
At first glance, they looked the same. Then you picked one up.
The damaged sole had been secured back into place with careful stitching. The tear near the side had been reinforced, and even the worn leather looked sturdier than before.
For several seconds, you simply stared.
Someone had spent time repairing them. A lot of time. And judging by the quality of their work, they knew exactly what they were doing.
Still confused, you pulled your boots on and made your way downstairs.
As expected, Maria was at the kitchen counter preparing breakfast while Tommy sat at the table, a coffee mug in his hand.
The moment Mariaâs eyes landed on your boots, a knowing smile appeared on her face.
âMorninâ, looks like somebody got to them.â
âYou know who did it?â
Tommy immediately buried his grin behind his mug.
Maria pretended to think, cartoonishly.
âHm, canât say for sure.â
The two of them were terrible liars.
Your eyes drifted across the room. Joel sat at the far end of the table, quietly drinking coffee as though he hadnât repaired a strangerâs boots in the middle of the night.
When he noticed you looking, he raised an eyebrow.
The fact that he had the audacity to act innocent somehow made the whole thing worse.
A corner of his mouth twitched upward before he returned his attention to his coffee again.
And somehow, that tiny reaction told you everything you needed to know.
The next day arrived quickly. The storm that had rolled through Jackson during the night left a fresh blanket of snow over the town. By the time you came downstairs, Tommy was already gone and Maria was busy with a dozen different things at once.
âMorning,â she greeted.
You rubbed the sleep from your eyes.
âJoelâs waiting outside.â
Her words caught you off guard. Maybe you had heard her wrong.
Mariaâs smile widened. You could guess where this was going.
Before you could ask any questions, she pointed toward the front door.
Sure enough, Joel stood outside near the fence, adjusting the straps of his backpack while a horse waited patiently beside him.
For some reason, your stomach flipped. Which was ridiculous, you had known the man for barely two days.
But he looked absurdly good.
His denim button-up hugged his broad frame, and his hair was still messy, probably bed head, you figured.
Yet somehow, seeing him wait felt strangely comforting.
âDidnât know I signed up for patrol duty,â you said as you approached.
Joel glanced over at you.
âThen why am I here?â
âTommy figured itâd be good for you to learn the area.â
âWhatever,â was the only thing you scoffed, starting to walk.
You suspected Tommy had very little to do with it. You knew it.
The two of you left Jackson shortly afterward.
The world outside the walls felt entirely wilder. Colder. The comfort of Jackson disappeared quickly behind you as endless forests stretched across the horizon.
For a long time, neither of you spoke.
But the silence wasnât awkward anymore. It had become familiar.
Eventually, Joel pointed toward a distant ridge.
âPatrol route runs through there.â
âHow often do you come out here?â
âCouple times a week.â
âAnd you enjoy that?â
You looked around at the endless snow.
Peaceful wasnât exactly the word you would have chosen.
Still, you understood what he meant. There was something calming about being surrounded by so much emptiness. No expectations from anyone that didnât even know you. No reminders of everything youâd lost.
The thought made your chest tighten as you thought of your parents.
Every mile you traveled brought you closer to them. At least that was what you kept telling yourself.
âWhat were they like?â
The question slipped out before you could stop it.
For a moment, you thought he might ignore you entirely. Instead, his gaze returned to the snow-covered road ahead.
The words landed heavily between you.
Immediately, guilt settled in your stomach.
Joel nodded once without looking at you.
Neither of you spoke for a while after that.
The conversation shifted naturally into something quieter. More careful.
By the time the sun had begun to sink lower in the sky, you found yourself telling him things you hadnât told anyone in years.
About Billings. About your childhood. About your parents. About how you still remembered the smell of your motherâs cooking and the way your dad used to swear he could fix anything.
And Joel listened. Really listened.
Without interrupting. Without offering false reassurance.
When you finished, he simply said:
The simplicity of it nearly broke you.
Because yes. That was exactly it.
You missed them every day. A lot. So much it hurt you every single time.
You looked away before he could notice the tears gathering in your eyes.
Or maybe he noticed anyway and chose not to mention it. That seemed like something he would do.
By the time you returned to Jackson, darkness had already settled over the town. The lights glowing from the windows looked warmer than ever.
And for the first time since arriving, you caught yourself thinking what it would be like to stay.
To allow yourself to feel again.
To allow yourself to love again.
The following day started differently. You woke to voices downstairs, as usual. This time Tommy and Maria were arguing. Not seriously, just enough to make you smile. The kind of normal argument couples only had when they knew everything would be okay.
The realization hurt more than expected.
You spent most of the morning helping Maria organize supplies. The work kept your hands busy, but not your mind. It constantly drifted to Joel, which was becoming a problem.
By noon, Maria seemed to notice. Of course she did. Maria noticed everything.
âHeâs at the workshop.â
Her smile widened. You could guess where this was going.
Heat immediately crept into your face.
âI wasnât asking about Joel.â
âYou were thinking about him.â
You groaned. Maria laughed. You hated the way she just knew.
The sound followed you all the way out the door.
The workshop sat near the edge of town. The steady sound of hammering echoed from inside.
When you stepped through the doorway, you found Joel leaning over a workbench. The sleeves of his flannel were rolled up. His attention remained focused on whatever he was repairing.
For a moment, you simply watched.
Then he suddenly looked up and caught you staring.
You immediately wished the floor would swallow you whole.
Joel waited as you stood there.
Finally, one corner of his mouth twitched.
âYou just gonna stand there?â
A quiet laugh escaped his lips. The sound startled both of you. Because Joel rarely laughed.
You noticed it. He noticed you noticing it.
And suddenly keeping eye contact seemed impossible.
To your surprise, it was Joel who broke first.
He gestured toward the object sitting on the table.
That turned out to be the understatement of the century.
Because when Joel finally picked up the guitar and played a few notes, the entire room changed.
The music felt warm and familiar.
For a few minutes, the world outside disappeared completely.
No infected. No loss. No impossible journeys.
When the final note faded away, neither of you spoke.
âYou should do that more often,â you said softly.
Joel looked down at the guitar.
âHavenât had much reason to.â
The answer lingered in your chest.
Hours later, long after you had left the workshop, you were still thinking about it.
Maybe because you understood exactly what he meant.
Maybe because you suspected he wasnât talking about the guitar.
That evening, snow began falling again. Large flakes drifted lazily from the sky. Jackson looked beautiful beneath them.
The streets were quieter than usual. Most people had already retreated indoors, escaping the cold and gathering around warm fires with their families.
You should have done the same.
Instead, you found yourself wandering through the snow-covered streets until you reached a familiar house.
Joel sat alone on the porch, a steaming mug resting between his hands.
For a moment, you considered turning around.
âCouldnât sleep?â he asked.
You climbed the steps and settled into the empty chair beside him.
âSomething like that.â
Joel hummed in acknowledgment before returning his attention to the street ahead.
Snowflakes drifted lazily through the air, settling on rooftops and fences alike.
Somewhere in the distance, you could hear laughter carrying from one of the houses.
For a while, neither of you spoke.
You hated how disappointed you sounded when you answered.
You hated the fact that you cared at all.
This wasnât supposed to happen.
Jackson was meant to be another stop.
Another place to leave behind.
Instead, it had become something far more dangerous.
Because now there was someone here worth staying for.
âYou ever think about settling somewhere?â Joel asked after a while.
âBefore all this? Sure.â
His gaze remained fixed on the street.
The question caught you off guard.
You thought about it for a moment.
For the first time all evening, he seemed genuinely surprised.
âI thought youâd have an answer.â
A faint smile appeared on his face.
You couldnât help smiling back.
âYou know,â you said, pulling your knees closer to your chest, âwhen I first got here, I thought everyone in Jackson was crazy.â
âYou wanna elaborate?â
âI just couldnât understand it.â
Joelâs expression softened.
âMariaâs pregnant. People are raising kids. Everybody acts like tomorrow is guaranteed.â
You looked down at your hands.
âI thought they were stupid.â
âBut maybe theyâre braver than I am.â
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
Then Joel set his mug down.
âHope ainât a bad thing.â
The sentence was familiar.
Yet somehow tonight it sounded different.
Maybe because you finally understood what he meant.
Maybe because you were beginning to want hope again.
The realization scared you.
Almost as much as leaving did.
Eventually, the cold became impossible to ignore.
You pushed yourself up from the chair.
Joel stood shortly after.
The walk back to Tommy and Mariaâs house was quiet.
Not because either of you had run out of things to say, but because there was something comforting about simply being beside each other.
When you reached the front steps, neither of you immediately moved.
The porch light cast a golden glow across the snow.
âYou should get some sleep.â
Neither of you moved again.
Finally, you climbed the steps.
When you looked back, Joel was still standing there.
Then he gave you a small nod.
You returned it before slipping inside.
The next morning arrived much too soon.
You barely slept. Every time you closed your eyes, reality returned.
The room looked exactly the same as it had the night before, yet everything felt different. Temporary.
You packed your things slowly.
The repaired boots Joel had fixed for you sat near the door. Your backpack rested against the wall. Your horse was already prepared outside.
The sight of it made your stomach twist.
Part of you wanted something to happen. A storm. An emergency. Anything that would give you one more day.
But the morning remained painfully ordinary.
Eventually, you made your way downstairs.
Maria hugged you first. Tight enough that you nearly lost your breath.
Tommy pulled you into a hug next.
The certainty in his voice reminded you of Joel.
That hurt more than it should have.
When you finally stepped outside, he was already waiting.
Joel stood beside your horse, one hand resting against the saddle.
Snow drifted lazily through the morning air.
For a second, neither of you spoke.
There was nothing left to prepare. Nothing left to delay.
Joel handed you the reins.
Neither of you pulled away immediately.
The kind of silence that only exists when there are too many things to say.
You wanted to tell him to come with you.
You wanted to tell him to ask you to stay.
Instead, neither of you said the one thing you wanted most.
Because life wasnât that simple.
Because your parents were still out there.
Because the road was still waiting.
Because some people arrive at the wrong time.
Joel looked down briefly.
The answer felt too small.
For a moment, you considered memorizing him.
The lines on his face. The grey in his hair. The tired eyes that somehow always softened whenever he looked at you.
You wondered if he was trying to do the same.
The response nearly shattered your composure.
You looked away before he could see it.
The cold air suddenly felt difficult to breathe.
You couldnât stay here forever.
If you waited any longer, you werenât sure youâd leave at all.
Slowly, you placed one foot in the stirrup.
The horse shifted beneath you.
Still, Joel didnât move.
For one impossible moment, it felt as though the entire world had stopped.
Giving the two of you one final chance.
You stared at each other.
Neither willing to look away first.
Neither willing to say goodbye.
Finally, Joel stepped back.
Enough to tell you it was time.
Enough to tell you he couldnât do this twice.
Your chest tightened painfully.
You forced yourself to grip the reins.
Forced yourself to breathe.
Forced yourself to turn away.
Enough to stop you instantly.
And for the first time since you had met him, Joel Miller looked completely helpless.
As though there was something he wanted to say.
Something that had arrived too late.
The silence lasted only a second.
Then he gave you a small nod.
âWish Iâd met you sooner.â
The words hit harder than anything else could have.
Not stay. Not donât go. Not I love you.
Because buried inside that sentence was everything he couldnât have.
Everything the two of you had almost become.
For a terrifying second, you thought you might actually turn around. Might abandon the journey. Might choose him.
Instead, you smiled through the ache in your chest.
And gave him the only honest answer you had left.
Neither of you said anything after that.
There was nothing left to say.
Slowly, you turned your horse toward the gate.
The sound of hooves against snow echoed through the quiet morning.
You didnât look back immediately.
You knew if you did, you wouldnât leave.
Only when you reached the edge of Jackson did you finally allow yourself one last glance.
Joel was still standing exactly where you had left him.
And even after the gates disappeared behind you, even after the road stretched endlessly ahead once more, one thought followed you farther than any memory ever had.
You had crossed an entire country looking for your parents.
And somehow, leaving Jackson felt harder.
snowghoul
blakekathryn
romaincrisis
andulkaphoto
titsay
gummygunk
stormborns