Web-Head

Fair enough, I suppose, it might be a bit rude to assume based on a given name. That is a mystifying statement, however–Is it innumerable? Or just the eight? Are you capable of conjuring the horrors of the Stygian abyss?

The boy’s “friend circle” is vast and varied, I am never sure. I do not know what this– ‘VR headset’ is, but it sounds needlessly expensive.

Hah. 

I am Raziel. It is gratifying to meet your acquaintance. Your blood, and your soul are safe, I assure you.

your bog-standard basic amount of eight, but only sometimes. usually i just have the human number of limbs.

and that’s, uhhh

no. no i can’t conjure horrors from the Stygian abyss. or any abyss, really.

i think i have some people convinced that i can summon endless amounts of spiders, though. the kind of people who don’t get that i’m “spider-man” mostly because i can stick to stuff and not for any other weird reasons. and it kind of works in my favor if they think that because they panic when they see me and are a lot easier to bust.

cats play rough sometimes, you should know that

its not my fault i keep trying to bond with you but you’re so sensitive :((

so what you’re saying is you need your claws trimmed.

You’ve done it now, you’ve attracted them, they’re gonna come give you the final succ because they’re FUCKING TWELVE YEARS OLD

And uh. Yeah I’ve been there. I’m not gonna mention names so I don’t attract attention to it or cause another spiral but it has actually happened

That said some folks tend to be more chill about it, I think it depends on the kind of place they come from as well?

It’s a mess and better navigated case by case, I think

that’s fine, i’ve been told that my masterful wit is actually more like the slightly less masterful wit of a 12 year old. so we’ll probably get along famously.

PLEASE DON’T CALL IT THE FINAL SUCC I’M GONNA CRY,,,,, It’s a long story and not mine to tell but from what I can tell it’s kind of a special case with those guys

I don’t meet a lot of alternate mes anymore, but I’m pretty happy with where I am all things considered, and that’s all that matters to me.

As for the video game/TV show thing, yeah I’ve… run into that a fair bit and it’s… kinda something I try not to make a big deal of? Because some people do not react well to being told “hey so you’re not real in my universe and your entire life is viewed for entertainment”. And in a LOT of cases I notice that things don’t actually match up exactly if at all - it could be that Alatreon has a completely different life to what you’ve seen in the game?

I dunno, I just take people for who they are when I meet them and try not to give them a crisis over sharing a name and face with a fictional character. It’s hard to deal with but in the end I know I’d want people to treat me as me and not some skeleton that gets killed or dated in a video game in other universes

well what else should i call it? really, “the final succ” is a pretty apt descriptor for what most vampires tend to do. unless media’s been lying to me all these years, but that can’t be right.

and god, no, no i’m with you. that’s not a can of worms i want to open for anyone else.

can’t hear you over the sound of me falling out the wio gvbfiyhgdsB GLJv;HBE :ir b o J

he jumped out the window with the GODDAMN CHAINSAWS

Oh no they’re definitely not Lestat cosplayers they’re actual honest to god blood drinking vampires.

(I had to google Lestat and I got caught in a Youtube trail for a hot second and I mean they’re all pretty gay and VERY dramatic but for the most part they’re not like, ye olde Englishe froppy costumers… It’s actually a struggle to get them to wear clothing!!! Which in retrospect probably sounds worse than it actually is.)

I can imagine it’s probably more alarming for people who actually have blood inside of them, although one of them does eat souls and that is actually a valid thing to be concerned about for me but it’s fine, we’re cool.

And… yeah, every time I see some new thing crop up the multiverse thing kind of blows my mind all over again. Humans are one thing, I always knew humans existed, but there aren’t vampire monsters where I come from except in stories.

Oh and then I found out there’s at least TWO universes out there that have animals that walk and talk like monsters and humans but AREN’T considered monsters??

yeah not gonna lie, as a blood-having spider guy, i’d be pretty alarmed if i met a real vampire who really probably wanted my blood. or...soul?? ok, didn’t know vampires could do that. i’m glad they’re not giving you the final succ.

and i hear that. i’ve met more alternate versions of me than i thought possible, all at varying stages of screwed up and sad. have yet to meet the version of me who’s 100% happy with his shit together. it’s, uh... it’s bound to happen.

anyway

what really gets me now is those universes that are just...you know. video games. or a tv show. or whatever, in mine.