the t r a i t o r

“How gracious of you. Really. Your forgiveness is all I need for the rest of my life,” she told him sarcastically, rolling her eyes a little and sticking her tongue out at him. “See, exactly. You have to let me. You’re super warm too, and the blanket I use at the Haven dorm isn’t thick enough for me–I get cold. I need to be able to curl up against you for warmth, or who knows what’ll happen to my sleep patterns.” She smiled at him. “Maybe I should start sleeping with my feet tied together or something so I can’t kick you.” She was a restless sleeper and she knew it. She just felt guilty because now it seemed like it was taking away from her sleep as well. “Oh shut up. Everyone with eyes can see how cute you are. Plus you’re UNIONs leader. I’m sure you could pick up tons of girls at the drop of a hat if you really wanted to. But I’m quite glad you don’t want to. I haven’t played a board game in forever. What game do you want to play?”

“You’re easy to please,” Teo commented with a tiny smile back at her. He bit his lip for a moment, pondering before opening his mouth to reply, “Um...well.....Once we do decide to tell people and everything.....or the group at least.....you could just stay here? I like having you with me. I mean...I sleep better when you’re there and stuff.” He sighed, blushing deeply, a little flustered by his little confession (even if it was nothing she hadn’t heard before). “Wouldn’t that just mean you’d kick me with both legs instead of just one? Because I don’t think that’s what I want. Don’t worry about it--I was just teasing you. It’s really not that huge of an issue...” Naseok shook his head. “I don’t really want to, though, not at all. I didn’t really think of that part yet...um, maybe just something classic. Like Monopoly or something. Except not that because Monopoly ruins lives.”

Little girls always dreamed about knights in shining armor coming to rescue and protect them, and that was what Teo was to Yejin. Sure, the whole idea that she needed someone–much less a man/knight/whatever–to protect her was stupid and kind of low-key misogynistic, but that aside, Teo was her knight in shining armor. When her stitches popped, he’d patched her up. When she’d gotten stranded after another night of mistakes, he’d picked her up and taken her back to the dorm and helped her get her shit together. He was constantly aiding her in getting rid of her angry, aggressive, destructive thoughts, too. He protected her from herself. And while she could handle things otherwise, his extra pushes and barriers helped her out so much. She’d probably forever feel grateful to him.  Pouting a little, she cozied up to him more, batting her eyes as she murmured, “You can forgive me though, right? I’m a little restless when I sleep sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you’re gonna stop letting me sleep next to you, right? I’m not saying I have nightmares, because I don’t….just…you have to keep cuddling me, right?” She kissed his cheek. “I think you’re a little too late for that. But I’m very happy to hear you don’t want to pick up any other girls…We have all day tomorrow, Naseok. If you need to sleep, it wouldn’t matter much.”

Naseok didn’t really conform to what society expected of a grown man. That wasn’t necessarily intentional, but it was true; he was timid and shy and hesitant and nervous. He wasn’t brave or confident. He certainly wasn’t suave or charming. No, he was charming, but not in the usual way. He wasn’t charismatic, he was dorky and adorable, and charming in that sense. But even with all that, Yejin saw him as some sort of greek god or something. Even if he saw himself as a weak pushover, he was the world to her. And that did wonders for his self-esteem, which was still pretty shitty, but had been improving every since he and Yejin had been getting closer. Their pairing wasn’t one that anyone had probably seen coming, or that anyone imagined could work, but it was perfect. She was perfect and they were perfect. He pulled her a little closer to him as they sat, squeezing her and kissing the top of her head, closing her eyes and keeping her there for a moment. He just needed a little reminder that she was real and that he wasn’t imagining everything, because that would be kind of a shitty trick for his mind to play on him. “Yeah, I guess I can forgive you. Maybe.” He murmured, rubbing her arm. “Hey, I have to let you sleep with me. Who’d calm you down from your not-nightmares if I wasn’t here, huh? I have to stay and cuddle you and play with your hair. Plus, you’re like a giant heated pillow for me to hang onto. I sleep better when you’re with me, even with all the kicking,” he teased, though he was serious. He slept better with her next to him. “I most certainly don’t. I wouldn’t have much luck even if I did. No, no...I’m not going to sleep. We’ll watch a drama and I’ll be very much awake and then we can eat. And then let’s play a board game. I want to play a board game.”

In the start, Jonghyun hadn’t really wanted to get close to his group members.  There was no real reason to it, just the fact that he was shy and insecure, especially around strangers.  It weighed down on him a lot, and made it very difficult for him to open up to any of them.  He threw himself into his work, practicing until he had perfected everything and then practiced some more.  Some of the others were just so much more talented than he was, and he refused to fall by the waist-side.  It wasn’t for a few months after the group had been put together that he found himself actually seeking out their presence, and Teo had been one of the first.  He was sure that it was the reason why the two shared such a close relationship, but it helped that the leader’s personality just clicked so easily with his. “Yeah, or we could eat the leftovers,” the dancer put on a cheeky grin, wiggling his eyebrows slightly at his own suggestion.  But, then again, this was the leader he was talking to; someone all about sharing.  With a loud clap, he rubbed the palms of his hands together, as if to prepare himself for the next task, “Alright.  Now that you have me thinking about food, you better get started.”

Teo was another member who had been hesitant to interact or get close with the others. Part of it was because he too was timid and shy and insecure, but he wanted to protect them too. The general public kind of hated him, and even if it was unwarranted, it’d hurt the others less if he had less of connection with them. That hadn’t worked though, of course--his members were some of the people he was closest with in the world--especially Jonghyun. And, if he really thought about it, he supposed it was probably a good thing. He had makeshift bodyguards for backstage at music shows now, so idols from his old company didn’t harass him anymore--something he was immensely happy about. He just felt safe. Well, kind of, but the closest thing to safe than he’d felt in years, and it was all thanks to his group. “You might have that kind of appetite, but I’m not sure if I could eat much. I guess it depends on how much we get. I think we should probably take them back something anyway, even if we don’t have leftovers.....” The joking went right over his head as he contemplated seriously what each of the other members would want, trying to decide where to go to eat. The clap snapped him out of it and he jumped slightly, but smiled and nodded. “Alright. This was the last thing I wanted to do anyway, so after this I can shower and we can go.”

Yejin wasn’t a romantic. She didn’t like feelings. Being close to people made her weird. She was destructive, and her social life reflected that. But things were different around Naseok. Yejin felt all mushy and sentimental, and she didn’t hate it. The intimacy was something she embraced, and she only wanted to be closer to him. And she’d warmed up to him so quickly–she usually avoided new interactions like the plague. It’d be a month, and she already felt like she’d known him her whole life. “I do not. I don’t have any. You are lying. Don’t lie–being a liar isn’t very attractive, you know. How you gonna pick up girls if they think you’re a liar?” she teased, kissing his cheek. “It’s really nice–I’ll show you.. Oh, please. I’ll be there when you wake up, dummy. It’s not like I can go anywhere with you laying on me. If you’re tired, then sleep. I really don’t care.”

He knew how she felt about most social interactions, so he knew how special he was. And just that thought--him being special--meant so much to him. For someone who second guessed and doubted himself as much as Teo did. For someone who loathed themself as much as Teo did. It meant so much to know that he was important. He was needed. He was irreplaceable. He was special. Every second spent with her was one he treasured. She was just as important to him, just as special, as he was to her.  He couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little, leaning back against the mirror. “Am not lying! You’re lucky I like you so much; sleeping beside you when you’re thrashing around from a nightmare is no easy feat, you know. You’re a kicker,” he teased. “Who said I was looking to pick up girls anyway? Girls are scary. I don’t think I want to associate myself with any...” He shrugged, eyeing her earnestly. “If I fall asleep, though, I’ll wake up right away. It’ll be like I spent no time with you at all, and I don’t want that.”

As shitty as she thought her situation was, his was worse. Way worse. That in itself made her…behave–what right did she have to act out if he wasn’t? She had money and a place to stay and people who cared about her, and that was all that really mattered. And, unlike him, there was no one hell bent on destroying her life. She knew he didn’t want her involved, but she felt so protective of him. Especially after seeing the scars given to him by angry ex-colleagues and antis who got a little to close. She didn’t want anyone getting close to him that wasn’t her or UNION or people he trusted. He didn’t deserve to be hurt again. “You can lay in my lap if you want to, Naseok. I don’t mind. It’ll be nice–that way you can sleep if you want to and I can play with your hair and wake you up if you have any bad dreams or anything….” she trailed off sweetly, half teasing and half serious. It’d be cute.

He had undiagnosed Avoidant Personality Disorder--something even he wasn’t aware that he had. As a result, he tried to avoid most social contact. He blamed himself for a lot of things that weren’t his fault. He kept to himself in fear of being rejected or hurt worse. It was all quite understandable, but it made it hard for new connections to be made--in a way, Yejin was quite amazing. She’d been the first in a long time that he’d opened up to, and probably the quickest. That was the biggest indicator to himself that she was special.  “You have more bad dreams than I do,” he muttered with a laugh, rolling his eyes at her. “Thank you, I appreciate it. I just might lay in your lap, then. I don’t think anyone’s ever played with my hair before--I want to know how that feels. I’m still going to try my best not to fall asleep, though. Seems like a waste to spend any time I have with you sleeping...”

She’d been in a dark place when he had helped her out initially. She’d just left home after her blowout with Jieun. It was right after she and Joonki made one of the worst mistakes of her life. She was spiraling downwards. Talking about it with him had helped, but when he’d come to pick her up from that hotel and had taken care of her, that’s when she really fell for him. No one besides Kyu had ever been that concerned about her or had ever tried to take care of her. No one cared, but Naseok did. He was special and she knew it. “Okay, but like…..Would you fall asleep in my lap or something? Or would you fall asleep with your arms around me? Choose carefully, because it may dictate whether or not I’d let you fall asleep,” she teased. If he actually did fall asleep, she’d never have the heart to wake him up. 

It hadn’t been the worst period in his life, but it in no way had been the best. Excluding his life as a kid before all of the shit with IL had happened, the best period in his life to date was right now; she was so good for him. As much as he warned her not to get involved with the media’s vendetta against him, he felt safer with Yejin on his side. Especially at music shows with other IL idols present--ever since the incident with the tweezers, he’d been deathly afraid of them attacking him again, but Yejin was frightening when she was mad. He felt safe with her around. He was safe with her around. He thought for a second, shrugging. “In order for me to fall asleep in your lap, I’d have to be there already, so I’d probably fall asleep wrapped around you. But if you wanted me to lay with my head in your lap, I wouldn’t argue,” he replied, a shy smile appearing on his face.

Even if it was by watching over him as he lifted weights, the dancer was more than happy to be able to spend some extra time with Teo.  When they weren’t promoting or preparing a new song, everyone went off to do their own schedules.  Some of them made variety show appearances, filled their time with photoshoots, maybe even spent their free days with a significant other, while Jonghyun spent quite a bit of time working on his own music.  That mostly just meant spending a majority of his day locked away in Hyosang’s studio, jotting down random lyrics every now and then.  Although any form of a comeback was at least a few months away right now, he still liked to be prepared.  But, unfortunately, that meant he didn’t see his members as much as he would like – more specifically, their leader. Maybe that was why he jumped on the opportunity to go out with him afterward, “Really?  Yeah, let’s do that!  I always get so hungry after a workout, you know?”

Teo didn’t pursue many solo activities himself--with the public’s reaction to pretty much anything he did, it wasn’t the best idea. He was talented, but his old company had a lot of sway, which meant a lot of people were swayed against him for pretty much no reason. It hurt, but there was nothing he could do. Honestly, he was just grateful for the chance to perform again; Teo hadn’t thought anyone would have wanted to sign him after the fallout with IL Entertainment. MK had looked at his talent and experience, though, not his bad press. They not only debuted him, but they debuted him as a leader, and Naseok would forever be in their debt because of it. They gave him a second chance, somewhere where he was safe and welcomed and appreciated. Jonghyun was someone who especially made him feel welcome. His debut would have been a lot shakier without the younger’s support. “Me too. Plus, you know UNION. Leftovers are never an issue. They’ll be very happy to receive some free dinner.”

She’d always had a bit of a problem with her temper, especially now that she and Joonki were near always at odds. Near everything made her mad, but Naseok was good at keeping a hold on her. He knew how to calm her down and make her take a step back and breathe. He made her happy.  “You might regret saying that you know. What if it’s something really stupid and you end up hating it or something? What if I purposely pick something out that I know you’ll hate just to mess with you? You sure I can pick anything?” she teased, grinning. If she was being honest, she wanted to watch UNION Next Door just so she could see his reaction to him and her brothers’ acting. But he wouldn’t like that, so if he really decided to let her choose, she’d pick something they’d both enjoy.

If he was being honest, he’d been scared of her for a while after they met. She’d been so abrasive and aggressive and quick to anger, and as much as her brothers stressed that she was actually quite nice, he still felt nervous. But over the years, they’d both warmed up to each other. He still hadn’t completely been sure how he felt about her when he helped her with her stitches and they’d both got to talking and sharing, but he was glad that happened, because it had lead to this. And this was something he treasured. “Then I’ll fall asleep and you can watch. We’ll still be cuddling, and I’ll get some extra sleep, and you’ll get your drama. Everybody wins,” he chuckled, rolling his eyes. He’d probably watch, no matter what she put on. He’d be paying more attention to her than the screen anyway.

If he wasn’t completely covered in sweat, and if they weren’t standing in the middle of the company gym, there would have been a decent chance that Jonghyun would be clinging to the shorter like a koala right now.  He couldn’t necessarily help himself; Teo was just so small and squishy, it was impossible not to hug him.  Instead, he just let himself giggle like a child, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt.  “I know that, hyung, but I just want to make sure.  You’re definitely capable, but even experts can have some trouble without a spotter.  Plus, I have at least another ten minutes to cool down, so I might as well, right?”

The same could be said for Teo. As soon as the two of them were together, there was a 98% chance that either he’d grab onto Jonghyun or vice versa. It was a comfort having the younger around--one that he’d become dependent on ever since their debut. Be it onscreen or at the dorm, the two of them were all but inseparable. “Fair enough, fair enough.” Honestly, he’d rather it be Jonghyun than anyone else. “What are you doing after this?” He asked, taking his seat and stretching his arms out a little more, getting set. “We should go get something to eat. Maybe get something to take to the dorm to share with everyone.”

The moment he recognized the elder, taking just a second too long now that he was without his glasses, Jonghyun’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.  He couldn’t hold it back, the obvious joy taking over his features.  His leader was one of his all-time favorite people, coming in just after his parents and (probably) Rian.  The two shared such a unique bond, and he jumped at any and every opportunity to spend time by his side.  Crossing the gym as quickly as possible, he leaned back against the wall, trying to remain as casual as possible, as if his expression hadn’t already give him away.  “No way!  I’d much rather help you out than sit around and catch my breath.  Besides, if you managed to hurt yourself at all, I would hate myself for it.”

A larger smile played at the elder man’s lips as Jonghyun tried to play off his obvious joy, but really, could Teo blame him at all? Teo had been just as excited to see his dongsaeng, he was always excited to see Jonghyun. Naseok was naturally nervous and shy, and Jonghyung was one of the few people who he was 100% comfortable around. Jonghyun, Yejin, Zumi and his mom--that was about it. And aside from his mother, Jongyun was the one he’d known the longest. “Fair enough, I guess,” he replied, and while he didn’t articulate it, he was very happy that Jonghyun had decided to stay. “I won’t hurt myself. I’m good at this,” he tacked on, grinning and raising an eyebrow