Mizzy_xxx

GANG!AU DRUG DEALER! JIMMY INK X FEM!READER

summary: Kelly, jimmy ink; the names collided, solely dependent on who she was around. After not remembering her role, ink has to decide; her devotion, or her life.

Chapter 6: Life is War

I fell asleep. I must have. the obvious hangover lingering in my head didn’t help the fact that I could feel immense pressure around my right eye as I squinted awake; blinded by the light of the early afternoon seeping through the curtains. Turning to my head to the side, I see Rose curled up behind me, usually I would’ve been bombarded through my sleep as her consistent sleep talking kept me awake well after she had fallen asleep most times we shared a bed but she was oddly quiet and still; as if she was preparing for the lack of peace caused by the future post night out discussion. As I sat up, my body struck me with a light spasm in my lower back and across my ribs, causing a light groan to escape me as I swung my legs over the bed slowly; louder than I would have liked.

That’s all I felt, like I was a machine with means to move, not feel. If I let myself feel now I don’t think I would be able to continue, scared didn’t even begin to cover the basis of my emotional state, and therefore it would not be acknowledged not today anyway. Blocking any indication of a buzzing question, any complex feelings. Right now I had to focus on one thing, getting myself to the bathroom for a piss. Baby steps and all that. Moving up off the bed the room span as i lost my footing colliding into the wall next to the bathroom door. Balancing myself once more a gasp of pure horror leaves my body along with a piece of my soul, the noise causing a louder collision as I hear rose fall out of bed and sprint her way to the door frame, leaning on it as with a sigh of realisation.

"Oh r/n...." she spoke with such sympathy; it created a pit in my stomach bringing the reality forward that I could not attempt to hide this from my mother. her arms wrapped around me, her smaller frame giving me the comfort a child gets from a teddy after a nightmare, except this horror was my reality.

A swirl of purple and green discolouration wrapped itself around the swollen crevice of my right eye, lowering down into my under eyes; looking like I had rubbed my eye with a full face of Halloween eye makeup on. Alongside my cheek, a cut in the shape of the edge of a square cut diamond threatened to turn brown as if the faint brown fingernail imprints on the left side of my face weren’t enough. I let go of rose to take another look wincing once more at the sight in front of me, me.

My breath hitches as I turn to rose as my realisation hits me "Rose I can’t let my mum see me like this, I’ll have to tell her what’s happened, and I don’t think I can do it- I can’t she'll freak out I mean rightly so but-"

"Hey!",she says quick to interrupt bringing her hands to either side of my upper arms "okay, plan is you text your mum telling her you’re having another sleepover at mine tonight, say we got too carried away last night and you can’t be bothered making the treck home...then! tomorrow you text her and let her know you’re gonna be home late because were going the cinema to watch that new horror comedy film that just came out, she'll be asleep by the time you get home and then just leave earlier for school on Monday so you don’t run into her; that should give enough time for the swelling to go down."

I looked at her in awe at her ability to conjure up a narrative so quick; having experience from her own parents being so strict it was borderline isolation. "Does that sound good?" she urged looking for any indication I was listening to her and not spiralling.

I nod softly, as I smirk with a shit eating grin "You know they’re called thrillers? Right?"

Rose rolled her eyes loudly, raising her eyebrows at my ability to still be a smart arse; as she took her hands away from my arms she crossed them over her chest in defence, “Or I could kick you out right now and make you walk home if that would make you feel worse!!"

Giggling at her reaction I make my way past her and collapsing softly back into the bed I motion for her to join me which she obliges to as I cuddle into her side.

"Not to be a total Mr obvious but are you okay?" Her hand made its way to the back of my head resting on my hair as her thumb moved up and down, a comfort I had grown accustomed to from Rose.

"I’ve decided I’m not doing thinking about it, for today, I’m too hungover as it is I don’t need to hurt my head more by attempting to process my feelings"

She cackles holding her hands up as if to preach the words I had spoken.

"Fair fucking dos, I fucks with that plan."

"Fucks with it?" I question amused at her expressionism, turning my head with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk that threatened to turn into a smile.

"Fucks with it." Rose responds and reaches for her bedside draw popping two tablet out of the foiled packaging and handing me two pills; not caring what they were I pop them into my mouth knowing they would subside the throbbing I felt in my head.

Grabbing the fumbled-up blanket at the bottom of the bed I bring it up to my neck and close my eyes gently and in doing so reinstated the decision I had said aloud. I would not think. i would not feel. I would sleep and attempt to forget, even if it was for a moment, the absolute ache in my chest in my heart; caving into the why would be a problem for tomorrow.

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"I just DONT understand it like why are all the girls I go for like always, ALWAYS, evil. I just don’t think I can sleep with anyone else who doesn’t live at LEAST four hours away." i huff biting into another spoonful of Haagen Daz.

It was now Monday night; I had skipped school after waking up from a hellish dream and refused to leave to get ready in time to be alone with my thoughts all day. Though she seemed sceptical I had messaged my mum and let her know I was going to stay with Rose for the rest of the week, making an excuse that she was going through a hard time and shouldn’t go through it alone (I know the irony is not lost at all). my pain had subsided physically with a healthy dose of co-codemal and half a bottle of rose wine within the last twenty minutes of Rose returning home from work. since then, every word that could be spoken had been, I made a fool of the English language and brought shame to a dictionary creating words that didn’t exist to describe emotions I had not felt, or I was not yet able to recognise. Rose had helped me discover the one feeling that was inescapable throughout every why and what if sentence that flew out of my lips. I was used as a means. used.

No matter how many times I had attempted to explain my brain couldn’t comprehend the way to retell the sensuality attraction and intimacy between kell- ink and I before everything had went down. How could all of that happen just for her to allow for me to be a punching bag? Even as the thoughts came to me, I knew I was deluded. I knew who she was, what she was, who she was around her people, and yet, I thought there could be an exception, that I was that exception.

I cursed myself for hours and hours, externally and internally. I couldn’t shake the stupidity of not taking in stride Jimmimas words. Everything felt so rushed it was hard to pick apart what had happened when and what it meant. It didn’t help it was all "old nick" this and that which had caused the side of my eye to throb as I attempted to explain to Rose who old nick was. Jimmy crystal was mad, clearly, but Kelly believed his nonsense ramblings which made me think she wasn’t all there too; but with religion is anyone really? But if she had truly believed him then why would she let me call her Kelly? That single act of defiance, allowing me to be with the real separated from the jimmies version of her, to snatch it away mere hours after.

Rose had ordered us a pizza, Hawaiian, that had allowed for me to take a break from thinking as she filled me in on what had happened between her and shite. Through all the chaos I had completely forgot to ask. Her night had ended like mine, saying similar had caused a flush of further internal turmoil as it further raised my suspicion that what me and ink had done was more than sex, less than love but deeper in connection.

I had theorised while eating my pizza crusts that she was falling. It was a theory that gave me false hope causing any speck of common sense left in my psyche to scream at me to stop but it was clear through the interactions with the other jimmies that some were more devoted than others.

Jimmima had set this up perfectly, gave me false isolation that ink was already putting a claim on me when behind the scenes she was using me to piss off her leader, until it went too far. She had said jimmy crystal would "hurt you to hurt me" and I hadn’t listened. To make it sound like she cared to not give a second glance as I was thrown across the room.

The thoughts stopped momentarily, I had made my way to the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself reflecting from the mirror. The dark purple had lightened to a softer hue of lilac that was a few days away from looking like an overly lined eye bag and not enough water. My hair looked scattered even with my hair washed and my eyes tired. I imagined what my mum would’ve said if she saw me like this, a shell, used as a means by people she would’ve smacked me sideways for hanging around. Furthermore, she would’ve reminded me of my worth, my potential and finally her love for me, how she wants what is best for me and can’t believe someone had done this to her baby. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes but I force them away blinking quickly as I left the bathroom, turning the light off as I did, turning towards the bed to see Rose fast asleep.

Bless her, I thought as she had probably been more exhausted than me doing damage control. breathing softly I tiptoe to my bag, still placed carelessly in the corner along with my heels and fur coat; the sight made my throat tight which I tried to suppress. Images of the look on Kelly’s face when I stripped down to basically nothing to the way her freckles curved into her dimples when she smiled at me softly before we fell asleep. Picking up the black faux leather pouch I pick out my lighter and a spliff I remember being given before going up to bed two nights before, I think by jimmy jones; most things were starting to blur so details were hard to distinguish.

Taking myself downstairs I wrap myself in Kelly’s hoodie to restrict the night chill from wracking my bones as I opened the door and taking a seat on her front step. taking the lighter to the spliff, I light it desperately. I knew with every line of thought I would be kept awake longer than I should be and thought I may as well relax than spiral. The too and frow of smoke exiting and entering my lungs allowed for my breathing to grow steadier than it had been; which made me grateful I was left with more than one parting gift, always the optimist in the worst of times. The swirl of feelings melted as my body responded to the natural plant, making me wish I was sharing with another person, as I had.

The tranquillity that washed over me like a baptism lasted a moment, my brows furrowed while putting the lighter into the front pocket in confusion, a texture stood out, different from the soft wool of the inside liner of the hoodie my fingers pulled it out sceptically. A confused giggle left me as the THC gave me back some playfulness to my soul.

Opening what seemed to be a folded scrap of paper I squint in the faded light to make out what looked like a long number, a phone number. I scoff as I attempt to rationalise what it could be for as I focus on the note more attentively as my cross fade hit Mr at the same time. Turning the note around I slowly read a quickly written sentence that made my stomach drop to my knees.

I’m sorry, call me when you’re home.

It was a few moments before I allowed my lungs to exhale. When I did finally, my breath was sharp and quick as I brought my knees to my chest. Leaning into my hands my breathing hitched as tears streamed down my face softly against my bruised cheek and eye. All the emotion of the past three days caused a build-up I could only feel in my head; I wasn’t aware I was about to burst but this sent me over the edge. more questions filled me to the brim, and I felt shaken around and bubbled to a simmer that was edging on an atomic explosion.

I was desperate to keep my composure but the reddening in my eyes from heart aching tears still ricocheted onto my lap reflecting off the iridescent streetlight. I couldn’t cope with knowing or not knowing and felt the longer I ignored the things around me, the harder everything was going to be to understand. I knew I wanted answers, but I didn’t think they’d come so soon; it was almost too much.

I wiped my cheeks and steadied my breathing as I stumped out my spliff throwing it in the street knowing some smackhead would appreciate stumbling upon it tomorrow morning. Taking a seat on the front porch I take in a determined deep breathe as I realised I didn’t know the writer of the note. I had assumed the best, that it was Jimmima feeling guilty her warnings came to no effect but maybe it wasn’t maybe it was worse, maybe it was Kelly. If I was to be kept in the dark, I could deal with that but the whiplash from the uncertainty was causing inner turmoil. Who could I trust and who really had an ulterior motive? Was i stupid for trusting anyone?

No, if I wanted to stay level headed the best I could do was keep my humanity, my trust that not everyone was out to get me; because they weren’t. I wasn’t stupid but I made a mistake, walking into the lion’s den and expecting a warm welcome. If I were to maintain this rationality, I needed to change my mindset: no more heartbroken, no more pitying myself. in Kelly’s world I was nice for a night off, in inks world I was a distraction. so that’s what I was going to be; no more no less.

Taking my phone out my pocket I take a deep breath, then letting out a brief harsh cough; the tobacco in the spliff having a delayed attack to my lungs. Eyes watering once more, the screen lighting up my face as I’m face to face with the keypad. Without a second thought (and more determination than I’d like to admit), I dialled the number one number at a time. I knew if I didn’t do it now I’d never have the guts to do it again so i pressed the green circle at the bottom of the screen.

Bringing the phone to my ear, the hum of the phone ringing was consistent, steady and far from the rhythm in my chest. I couldn’t help but feel anxious. This could be a set up. No. I push down that thought with every ounce of common sense left in my head. It didn’t help I had liquid courage from the bottle of wine I had consumed just an hour earlier especially as it left a thick coating on my teeth that if I didn’t brush off soon would knock me sick. Quickly bringing the phone to my face before returning it to my ear I check the time; it was almost one in the morning causing a pang of doubt anyone would answer at this time still I continued to listen to the consistent hum of the dial ringing.

Unexpectedly, on the fifth ring, the other side picked up. My heart pounded in my throat. I go to open my mouth to speak but the words are caught to the point a squeaky noise escapes my lips.

Clearing my throat harshly, maybe too harsh on my throat I greet the other line.

"He-hello," I curse myself for the stutter, I needed to get my shit together; clearing my throat I attempt again, "mmgh hello?"

Silence filled the other line, not as if they were on mute but as if someone was hesitant to speak. I go to attempt to fill the awkwardness of the silence mainly through my impatience but a voice on the other line breaks through first.

"You got my note." to say I wasn’t relieved that it was ink would be a complete lie; the tensity of my body relaxed but there was still this numbness I couldn’t shake.

Letting out a breathy sigh I laugh half-heartedly at her blunt greeting "yeah no I’m good thanks for asking" my lips tensed around my teeth as I tried to bite back tears from pooling in my eyes. all the memories of the past few weeks took over my brain; feelings of pure lust and attraction and further stupidity overwhelmed my senses.

A low huff was heard from the other end the sound I heard too much from inks lips; complete frustration, like that same burning I felt in my room the first night I entered the house of jimmy crystal, feeling stuck.

"Fucking hell give me a chance," she responds defensively making an anger I didn’t know had been brewing start to boil inside me. A long pause filled the call as I heard faint conversation on the other line. This time, I waited, listening in an attempt to make out what was being said; I couldn’t, "look I need to talk to you, in person"

My brows furrow as I talk into the phone as if to bite the words into her skin, "What makes you think I want to see you?" the words were a double ended sword as I knew I wanted to see her, some part of me wanted some form of closure and the other several parts wanted me to fight her, fuck her, stare at her freckled cheeks as she smiles and tell her to go to hell all at the same time, "I’m surprised your being so rebellious to your fat fuck leader, coz I guarantee for a fact he’s told you not to talk to me again."

"Oi watch your fucking mouth, see this is your problem, you’re such a mouthy bitch whatever happened you earned yourself so don’t go blaming me, or jimmy." she bit back harder, it didn’t help that I already knew what she said was true but it stung to realise that some part of me was delusional to believe the sliver of resistance she had to the rule of jimmy crystal meant she was ready to be free from his grip.

I scoff dramatically "Oh please like I don’t know that. I might not be able to blame you for what happened, but you didn’t step in, you didn’t stop it, and then you put a note in the jacket pocket saying you’re sorry and to call you. Fuck. Right. Off. Kelly."

"You’re lucky he was on a come down and didn’t call for charity." her tone is so childish and dismissive like she couldn’t think of any other argument but to turn what I said into advice.

"Oh, I’ll be sure to thank old nick for that next time jimmy is choking me out." My words drip from sarcasm, I wondered how silly I looked as I snarled towards my phone as I spoke, her words grating on my nerves.

A| beat was had that to anyone else would’ve sounded like defeat or a gear up for another insult during an argument. but I heard it. The faint sound of inner conflict in the void of silence, she was debating, silence was her decision making so I edged her forward in voicing it.

"What do you need to talk to me about?" I ask cautiously, calmer than before in my attempt to make myself sound respectful.

"I’m on my way, I’ll be 10 minutes." her response cut through the end of my question as if she made her decision.

"Wait I’m at-"

"Rose's house, I know."

The line on the other side goes with a beeping that mimics the palpitation in my stomach at her words. She’s such a little stalker how the fuck did she know where I was; I silently prayed she didn’t go to my house when my mum was home that would’ve blown my cover and forced me to go home with a hysterical mother.

Taking my phone away from my ear I look at my call log; Kelly’s number didn’t come up. I wondered if she was using a burner phone or one of those international drug dealer lines that the police can’t hack into. Every interaction we had left me with more questions than I started with, this nonchalance stopped tonight I swear I can’t cope with the mystery of it all any longer.

I waited on the porch after getting my trainers on, I had a mini section of Rose's wardrobe dedicated to my own belongings which made it easier to stayover spontaneously, and now allowed me to leave in the middle of the night to meet up with Kelly.

I looked at my phone time impatiently, 1:23am it had been seven minutes since the phone call ended and I could feel my leg bounce beneath me, though more heavily than usual as the spliff still affected my system even an hour later. I realise the time and hurriedly rush back inside rummaging in Rose's fridge to find the other half bottle of wine; realising I was far too sober for the interaction that was about to occur. I could only describe myself in this situation as the purest form of desperate affection, realisation hit me suddenly that every interaction, word spoken, I was acting as an agent to Kelly, a means to see her, kiss her, drink up her affection. I was selfish in a way that separated my ego from my id; my desire controlled me and for once I let it take the reins. Gulping the sharp liquid mouthful at a time I took my original position on the porch once where a more a sudden desire reached my soul, as the familiar black out Mercedes pulled up next to the pavement in front of me.

I laugh lowly as emotion filled my lower neck, only washed away from the alcohol in my hand. hearing the engine roar dull down my head spins to the front door; realising I still had time to run back inside and never see her again. rip the band aid off.

However, that thought was quickly shut off by the sound of a car door shutting, making my head spin back. that oh so heart aching familiar red tracksuit in front of me, the first encounter when she defended me from shite, it being pressed to my neck after I brought the gear to jimmy crystals house and it being sprawled on the floor when she crawled over me and kissed every crevice of my body with complete adoration and desire. Taking the last sip of the bottle, I discard it to my side unaffected by the clank the bottle makes when it hits the ground and walk down the path.

As I walk closer, I take in her face her braids her freckles every part I wish to see in every context but had to suppress, all feelings I forced away are crawling back in a warm embrace; it was more than tempting to fall back into her arms, even if they weren’t outstretched, I still felt edged to do so.

Nothing but the next-door neighbour’s cat alarm being set off rings through my ears as the space closes between us, until there was none left.

Kelly takes a breath as she exams my face, still a purple hue to it where the message I had "earned" still rang through one neither of us would forget, but even so both of us in such disobedience it was exciting, the thought of being caught: me by Rose and her by jimmy. It had to be more than a message there had to be more meaning on not just my end, right?

I was caught off guard by inks hand caressing the side of my face, flinching softly as she did so, her browns contorted in concern, it worried me in a way, a girl who had once seemed to excited and quick to violence in revenge cringing at the effects of similar violence acted upon me. Her rough calloused hand, gentle on my skin I lean into the touch without hesitation allowing myself the comfort of how it feels to be held again by her.

Looking up at her eyes attempt to relax herself but she may as well have been made of glass, "Fucking hell r/n" she mutters under her breath so quiet if i weren’t so close I might not have heard.

"One way to learn a lesson I guess," I chuckle softly as I straighten my stance causing her hand to drop into her pocket smoothly not returning my amused expression, almost too smooth, "It’s all good if not but can we drive around while we talk, I don’t want to wake Rose." I change the topic quickly urgent to be alone with Kelly away from any prying eyes that may have been watching.

She nods softly and responds with a small "okay" as she makes her way to the passenger seat opening the door and shutting it as I sit comfortably in the leather chair that even in the humid night air of the summer didn’t stick to me. What a charmer, I thought holding back an eye roll at the thought of Kelly’s chivalry. Looking around the corner, I further suppress the memories of our first real understanding of each other on the way home to mine. I curse my lack of memory of who drove me home after my altercation with jimmy crystal, I’d rather not talk about it, ever again, I wanted it to go away now, now we were together it would be okay, if it were just us two. the moment it brought up, old nick, "jimmy ink", its back: the wall, the facade. I didn’t care if we had to prepare to pretend in the company of others, right now we were together and alone, I would be an idiot not to take advantage of the peace and quiet of it all.

As I finish my thought Kelly makes her way to the other side and enters the car, looking in my direction, a soft smile lifting her freckled scared lips upward. I missed how her eyes made me feel trapped, like I was under interrogation, like everyone else owed her more than there was worth and I was more than enough and more.

As we start to drive, I can’t help but sneak glances at her, as no words are shared. My half drunken state led to believe she wasn’t aware but deep down I knew she could feel my eyes on her. Her leg bounced when not on the brake of the automatic car and she messed with her braid bead at every red light. 6 minutes of this cycle occurred until we made it to the abandoned car park of the beach next to the swimming centre, I learnt to swim there.

Pulling into a bay, Kelly parks the car facing a sand dune and takes off her seatbelt, which I shortly follow suit with, pulling it over my shoulder with little struggle. Turning to face her soft hardened features I anticipate what she had to talk to me about, but nothing came. She simply looked out the window, relaxed. I was unaware if i should give her a nudge to start the conversation or if she was psyching herself up.

I chose the initiative.

"What is it kell?" I ask softly, almost a hushed whisper.

She turns her head to face me, still rested on the headrest of the driver’s seat, but unexpectedly she smiles, "are you okay?"

I giggle at the unexpected obvious question, leaning my head forward, covering my face with my hair, but her question made me think back to our phone conversation earlier, she felt bad, not guilt but just bad at how she had spoken to me and understood how to break any tension between us. Her smile remained as she watched me giggle softly, however, she clearly didn’t expect for my laugh to grow broader, louder more confused and erratic like a cackle and more amused and controlled than a giggle.

Whipping my hair up I revealed the repeated uncontrollable breathing as before, along with tear stained cheeks along with active tears forming at the brim of my eyes. I watched Kelly’s face drop as she reached for my face on to caress my bruised cheek but I flinched away from her touch causing a tear to fall, her chest heaving up and down in a quick pace as if genuinely hurt by my resistance to her affection: she knew not to give me stupid commands to breathe or calm down and so sat with me holding me, waiting with a concerned stern look.

"Am I okay? Am I okay? I’m scared. I can deal with a lot of shit but this weekend, it’s been too much. I’ve never been battered by someone before, left so vulnerable I haven’t gone sixth form- I can’t risk my mum she'l-"

Kelly focuses more sternly as she cuts off my sentence "Your mum is oblivious; she’s going by business as usual." she finishes by wiping away a tear.

"You’re such a fucking stalker oh my god." I watch her cringe at my choice of word but ignore her reaction, anyway, deciding to focus on the waves of the sand dunes. it was like my body had a mind of its own the way I was so angry yet still so drawn, it dawned on me I wasn’t ready to let go so easily; it didn’t help that I had decided last minute to drink to cope which I think Kelly picked up on almost immediately but chose not to say anything.

Silence swallowed the car apart from the sound of me sniffling into Kelly’s hoodie turning my body turned to the side, refusing to acknowledge any attempt at a response from the girl beside me. Some part of me blamed ink and was angry but there was no clear counterpart to my anger. I held my tongue afraid to say something more, something I was yet to do for as long as I could remember.

"Jimmy says old nick sees something in you," the silence once deafening now broken, I turn back to face Kelly. Her hands were between her thighs as her forearms rested on the tops of upper thigh and her head faced forward, as if I had been interrogating her subconsciously and she finally broke, "He says in false scripture there was a demon that tempted away all the sheep to a false prophet, not old nick some made up man in the sky or something. This demon while "pesky was a helpful beast in the eyes of old nick" he said," her head turned to finally face me, our eyes meeting as I listened intently at her words and attempted to reason with the riddle she lay before me, anticipating the worst that he had now declared war on my heresy and he was coming for me, being the observer she was Kelly explained further in aid to my clear confusion sprawled across my face, "He said old nick spoke to him telling him you are the snake in our path, our pest, but rather than slit your lungs from your mouth we should use you to our advantage," another beat was heard other than the pause between words as I felt my heart in my throat realising what she just inferred, "he wants you to help us with a job."

As she finished her sentence, I feel my face contort into complete disbelief. all of that punching and strangulation. Just to try recruit me to the mad brady bunch.

"Fuck right off," I laugh in inks face as my body fully faces towards her now, "this is the maddest come down i have ever had the misfortune to witness, fuck me." i scoff as i bring my hands to my face straining my eye lids as I pull my hands down my face, my head then snaps in her direction "what’s the catch?" it’s clear the sarcastic tone laced into my voice this wasn’t an agreement but pure curiosity.

"No catch," she took a deep breathe before releasing what was really on her mind, "but if you do this, I’ll be allowed to see you, if you commit to working for old nick for a little while." her tone was so casual it mad my jaw fall another inch further letting my wine breathe intoxicate the car.

Shaking my head slightly I think aloud, mumbling lightly "I wish you weren’t such a good shag." scoffing slightly

"Is that a, yes?" Kelly questions my response with more desperation than I knew was intended, she wanted to hear the words leave my lips again as I knew I wanted to collide with hers again. but I couldn’t. In a moment of clarity, it hit me I couldn’t bring myself to throw away my life, the structure of opportunity and security to get a good life, to feel again. I pushed down my emotion, my lust for her affection and shook my head firmly.

"Absolutely not." I bite back bile that reached the back of my throat, burning my insides as the words left me like venom. I knew what this meant, but it had gone too far, I shouldn’t have let it leave a feeling in the first place. she was a jimmy, a part of a new world religion that revolved around drugs delusions and violence.

I refuse to look in inks direction. I heard a shuffling as ink shifted uncomfortably in her seat, hesitation hung in the air, and it didn’t help the nausea I was feeling. "You know what this means right?" ink asks baffled, like I wasn’t thinking straight hurt missed in with confusion on her freckled face.

Of course, I did, I wasn’t stupid, it means we couldn’t see each other again. a part of me felt a lingering of grief, I wanted something real with ink, I wanted a way of normality the way rose had, a casual fling that had potential for more. I wanted to kick and scream and cry at my reason like it was my mum telling me to go to my room mid argument. But I had to face the facts, the real facts, not some fantasy that plagued my thoughts, this could never develop into anything more. My bruising would help me forget, help me surrender the fantasy, remind me what waited on the other side, nothing but achy discomfort. There was nothing normal about the arrangement in the first place it was completely unattainable to grasp normality as an end goal.

I needed to undo what I had started I need to finish what was yet to be complete. "Yes, I do ink."

I saw inks jaw clench, the sparkle in her brown pools gone as if stolen away from old nick himself. She didn’t hesitate any longer and started the engine driving away. The car ride had an eerily calm silence, deep down I knew she couldn’t expect me to make such a sacrifice of my whole life. she joined jimmy when she had no options and right here right now, I still had plenty of them.

Arriving back in front of Rose’s house nothing was said as I got out of the car and made my way to the front door, the discarded glass on the front porch from my tipsy irrationality. I didn’t look back, and I walked inside. Closing the door a part of my heaviness was lifted but some fear remained, but I was too exhausted to care. maybe one day I could laugh at how stupid I was, maybe I might cry a little every night before bed that I’d never see Kelly again, but I couldn’t lie that as a part of me was relieved I didn’t have to see jimmy ink ever again.

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READERS NOTE: hey so sorry for all the angst im going through it at the minute and it’s REALLY reflecting in my writing i appreciate all the patience i promise i will try be more consistent but i am human at the end of the day!! Love ya💋

GANG!AU!DRUG DEALER JIMMY INK X F!READER

Summary: a night you’ll never forget with the girl in red that can’t seem to let go will always be a good mix with a dangerous profession and a psychopathic boss who influences her every move…right?

Just a little TW violence from Jimmy towards reader at the end of the chapter!!!

Chapter 5: Call me when you’re home.

Usually when I woke up after a night of partying it was a mix of: a horrific hangover that made my body detox through one way or the other and ordering the nearest greasiest food that settled my nervous stomach. Every morning after, without fail, my brain would rattle with a paranoid frenzy attempting to remember the events of the night before desperately trying to put faces and names together. Guilt would consume me faintly as I would usually end up being contorted with someone I shouldn’t have been with or would later find out was the sister of a brother who is a cousin of the person who beat up Rose’s dog or something along those lines.

But today was different. My eyes snapped open like a creak from a rusty door breaking open. Reaching for my phone on the bedside and wincing at the bright screen displaying 10:28am I quickly drop it back into its original place with a loud huff of exhaustion. Leaning my arm down my side, a sudden feeling makes my heart race and almost melt at the notion. Kelly had her body contorted to fit the back of my own, her arm reaching around my waist over the covers of the duvet, holding me like she was worried I would run off or as if the double bed had some risk of becoming a twin size in the night and she didn’t want to risk falling on the floor. The realisation is slow, along with the few blinks I take as I give myself a moment to realise I’m in Kelly’s room, a smile creeps onto my face without me realising it. She looked at peace, no scowl or frown or furrowed brow in sight. The only curve in her face being the bumpy line of the scar across her cheek that followed down to the crevice of her oh so soft lips.

Taking in her face, that I had grown so fond of, I remember those mornings waking to that sinking feeling of lost memories from the night before and start to wonder what I could recall: after mine and Kelly’s passionate display of desire the affection continued throughout the night: sitting with my legs over her thighs as her hands remained intertwined with the crevice in my own thighs, her arm around me and most importantly of all the look she had when she thought I couldn’t see her. It was reflected in everyone’s face around us though, the jimmies, Rose but especially Jimmima and Shite. The blue duo exchanged shit eating grins as if they had a bet on if me and Kelly would last more than two weeks before we jumped into each others bed; which was then confined by groans of annoyance from Jimmy jones and Jimmy Jimmy as they handed over small bundles of cash over to the two maniacs. That was around 22:40 ish. I recalled the dance battle between Jimmima and snake (who were both surprisingly very flexible) that occurred after Jimmy ink came back and reported to Jimmy crystal along with Shite which allowed me and Rose to catch up as she practically had me in a head lock as I told her about me and Kelly. Dancing, smoking and singing was all I did in the absence of Kelly’s presence which was returned quite abruptly as her arms snuck around my waist causing me to almost punch her as I spin into action, which she caught with complete ease preventing the collision. Laughing it off she kept her hand in my waist. It was the smoothest thing anyone’s ever done In my personal opinion. Alcohol and pills were passed around like it was a pick N mix but I stuck to what I knew vodka and weed. There were moments that were a blur as the tingly sensations came over me and other times that I’ll never want to forget, like the several times me and Kelly ran off somewhere secluded to clash into each other. So completely and utterly in passion, the drugs could not have helped the attraction we both felt compelled by. The downstairs bathroom the laundry room and the back garden where we shared a spliff finishing it off with my thighs straddling her own as our tongues danced in unison; giggles and deep breathes breaking us apart every so often. Reuniting with the jimmies after a while outside with ink’s jacket wrapped around my shoulders, due to the cold breeze that had picked up past 1am, looking over to see jones and snake in a similar way me and ink were moments earlier as well as Rose and Shite. Smiling to myself at my own cunning I joined Kelly on the couch next to Jimmima who had looked at me giggling before turning away talking to Jimmy Jimmy quietly.

As I lay in Kelly’s bed reminiscing on the night before, I turn to lay on my back causing Kelly to mutter in her sleep and tighten her grip. I rub my eyes to get crusty stuff out of my lashes internally thanking myself for managing to take off my makeup before crashing onto the bed and entangling with the girl with red hair who remained by my side.

Slowly, after some thought, I decide to get up carefully removing Kelly tatted arm from my waist as I did so groaning left her lips which made me chuckle slightly. The attentive affection made me see a want, a need that reflected through how I had attended to so many before without reciprocation. I attempted to shake the thought as to remind myself that nothing good truly lasts forever. Even so, I couldn’t help my self but tuck the covers back up towards her shoulders as if to return the transaction.

“Aw poor baby.” I whispered sarcastically as I caressed her freckled cheek that had now moved to smush her lips into the pillow I had just rested on.

As I stood fatigue hit me like a truck causing me to stumble into the hallway which my eyes half open as the sun beamed in through the window on the landing of the stairs. My hand makes its way to create a bridge over my eyes which causes me to loose most of my vision and bump into a hard chest in front of me.

Stumbling back stars fill my eyes as I balance myself to my centre of gravity. Opening my eyes, a half smile reaches my mouth out of respect as I focus in on the gold upside down cross pendant, it was cold to the touch though it seemed to remain around his neck eternally.

A gruff huff left his lips as his eyes dropped to mine clear annoyance and fatigue filtering through his scowl. His purple velour jacket had been discarded leaving him in a similar attire as shite always appeared in.

I let out a tired sigh as I create more distance between us stepping back, “sorry Jimmy crystal, my heads bangin after last night I wasn’t looking.” I say as respectfully as I could in my state.

“You should thank old nick I don’t throw you round the bend and onto the landing but alass I have more important things to do this morning.” That same sadistic aggressively passive smile reaches his face.

I look at him unaware of how to respond like a dear in head lights “uh..thank you old nick.” I manage to make out eyebrows raised as a way to show my attempt to not offend which earns a dark laugh and the gap between us closing as he takes a step closer.

“Snooping so early in the morning are we? Looking for some more gear after last nights fix? Hmm?” His rotten teeth closer than I would like them to be as his presence becomes massive in my personal space. His sarcasm doesn’t falter as it grows into something darker, more severe, whatever come down he was on was creating a more paranoid version of the sir lord more than I even considered possible.

Looking up at him I shake my head softly to the side “I’m not a junky, sir. I just really need a piss so I can go back to bed for a bit…sir.” I was trying my damned hardest so play the part but it was clear he could see right through me though I was innocent, trying too hard and my chest had started to rise and fall in severe fashion.

Suddenly, his rings caught in the back of my matted bed head, his grip strong enough to rip my hair out with a tug his bloodshot eyes more visible as he leans closer to my face “you cannea think I’m not so stupid as to see why you’ve attached yourself to our Jimmy ink? You think I didnea see you two in the garden? That I dinnea hear ya-“

“It’s dipsy lala~”

Jimmy crystal stopped. His head snapped up to see the contortioned dance Jimmima had started to perform as she had time and time again, at the end of the hallway as if she was just coming out of the bathroom herself. Jimmy let go of my hair and had started to clap slowly out of enjoyment as he made his way towards Jimmima; disregarding me completely.

“Sensational Jimmima!” He cheered her on with a loud whistle as she ended with a spin and a bow which he clapped more continuously for. She caught my eye as she came back up from her bow and winked quickly as he wrapped his arms around her head and rocked her back and forth slightly, a pure smile radiated from him as he moved her aside and made his way past her down the hall towards his office.

Passing Jimmima quickly, she basically jumped at me and dragged me inside the bathroom, the cold tile sending a shiver down my spine as I walked in and rushed to the toilet seat pushing my underwear down. Relief washed over me as I not only relieved myself but was also safe from facing Jimmy crystal in a state that was so terrifying.

“Someone should’ve warned you. Ink probably got so pussy whipped she forgot to let u know how he is the morning after a gaff,” she says as she smiles at me knowingly as she takes a seat on the edge of the bath right next to me no sense of privacy or personal space taken into consideration; and a constant mischievousness in her words.

“Thank you mima it means a lot I honestly shit myself.” I answer honestly as I motion for her to turn away as I wipe; choosing to not acknowledge her comment on me and Kelly.

She huffs in annoyance at my notion but obliges to turn,while remaining to watch through the mirror which I was unaware of, “He won’t remember by the time the afternoon rolls around he always forgets.” She says almost with completely dead eyes, it caught me off guard, the emotional switch,and caused me to stand in front of her as she refused to look at me.

“What do you mean Jimmima?”I ask curiously, lowering myself to reach her level as she remained sat. Her eyes wandering to meet my own.

“How do you think we got the marks of old nick?” She asks as if it was obvious, touching the scar that graced her own softly before starting to pick at it as if it was a scab.

I gently place her hand away from her forehead and placed it in mine which she allowed, her eyes suddenly lit up as the life filtered back into her expression as she smiled maniacally, jumping up and taking me down as she straddled me giggling as she did so.

“I like you here.” She said through her giggling fit.

I lift myself up as she sits in my lap. The interaction though unusual on the outside, was more of a nod of approval than an attempt to jump my bones. I had watched Jimmima the night before and the way she interacted with not only the other jimmies but the other people at the party. She was different, her mind moulded by indoctrination of violence and loyalty that gained her certain privileges within the dysfunctional dynamic. She was jimmys favourite and I had witnessed it in real time as she did said and acted as she pleased to which no in ebatted an eye to.

Leaning on my forearms behind me, I smile at her softly “thank u Jimmima for being there at the right time.”

She mimics how Jimmy crystal had held her moments before on me rocking us both back and forth slowly In my lap. Soothing her back slowly up and down she changes so her hands grip both of my shoulders to which she eventually uses to help herself stand up leaving a hand out for me to take as she practically skips me out of the bathroom and to Kelly’s door; not before checking it was clear to walk towards . As I go to walk in, a grip on my hand stops me making me turn to face the platinum blonde.

“You okay mima?” I whisper lowly as to not disturb anyone.

Her eyes are faced lowly as she looks down at me her playful demeanour bouncing again to a more serious one “don’t get too attached. Ink puts on a front but not in the way you think.”

Before i can even begin to question what she meant she practically teleported to the end of the hallway and disappeared into another room. I thought about if for a minute; replaying what she had said over and over again. Not in the way you think. I knew her real name was Kelly. Is that what Jimmima had meant? My thoughts and questions were cut off by every muscle in my body being pulled towards the soft sheets and the warm body already entangled within them through sheer exhaustion. Subconsciously climbing in, I return the original position, Kelly’s arm around me as she cuddled into my side her soft breathing against my neck. As I drifted off Jimmimas words danced around in my head ‘don’t get too attached’ sighing into Kelly’s arms all I could think was that her heed of warning was far too late; I didn’t want her to let me go.

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My consciousness returned before I even opened my eyes, and decided to keep it that way in attempt to decide whether to open them at all. It took me a moment to hear the movement around the room and what sounded like a spray of deodorant;which was then confirmed by the smell that suffocated my nose. Nothing caught my attention enough until I realised I could no longer feel the pressure of a body tucked up next to me; this caused me to snap my eyes open and turn towards the scuffle of noise.

Turning my head, my whole body followed, to see ink putting on fresh pants and another white beater top with the same red jacket,how unusual, i thought seeing her in an almost normal outfit compared to her uniformed tracksuit, my brows scrunched up in a confusion I had yet to feel.

An idea popped into my head in an attempt to slow down her fast pace of getting ready. In my head, at the time, it seemed a good idea; for whatever reason. I crawled towards her slowly and saw her freeze at the edge of the bed and sigh slightly at the dip in pressure. I mimic the night before and wrap my arms around her neck leaning against the top of her shoulders, which just for a moment she accepted leaning into me with my chin softly on the top of her cranium. Her hand rested on my arms that crossed at her chest and for a moment everything was okay and quiet and still. My eyes had closed once more as I also relaxed in to her touch but they snapped open almost as soon as they closed as Kelly’s hand had grabbed my wrist away from her with aggression that came out of no where.

She stood suddenly with a tense expression “get ready, you can borrow some of my workout clothes.”

“Kelly what the fuck was that?” I ask confused, my hangover racking my brain enough as it was I couldn’t deal with this type of rejection so early in the afternoon.

She turned to look at me, still sat on the bed, staring with a sharp gaze “lower your fucking voice and stop calling me that get ur shit and fuck off.”

My head swirled as i tried to understanding why she was being so stand off ish, trying to ignore the tension in my chest and the tears that attempted to well in my eyes. Her face didnt falter once as she stared me down, i couldn’t describe how she looked but it wasn’t disgust or hate, more anger and sadness; I immediately thought back to my interaction with Jimmy crystal earlier this morning, anything could’ve happened within the two hours I fell back asleep.

I nod slowly get off of the bed and stand, ignoring the pit in my stomach that had formed. I always knew I wasn’t the type of girl who could sleep around and not have some sort of feelings but I had to remind myself who I had slept with. This wasn’t a normal case of attraction and sex; ink- Kelly was different. Her and Jimmy crystal were cut from the same cloth: hardened violent children who had grown into calculated and dangerous twisted older,but still in a way,children. I could feel through each soft feature of Kelly’s skin a darker deeper scar; like she couldn’t exist without both equal parts of torturous and brutal memory of childhood and the softened touch she gave me last night. Otherwise she may crack and fall apart into nothingness.

Though my self respect was screaming at me internally to get in her face and scream and cry as to how I felt completely used by the way she’s speaking to me, I bit my tongue. Something had happened this wasn’t anything to do with me. I remember how my mum had always said hurt people hurt people as I moved towards her draws in silence and picked through her clothes and chose a black t-shirt that was a size too small and cut off just before my belly button and some oversized black jogger bottoms that barely came to my ankles; as well as some black socks that made the distance between my ankles and the pants less obvious.

I turn around after getting changed to see Kelly already staring right at me. I chuckle lightly as I walk past her and towards the bedside I had slept on, taking my phone fur coat and dress into my hands.

“What you laughing at?” She asks confused but surprisingly defensively.

I glance behind my shoulder as I open her bedroom door “You, Jimmy ink.” I don’t hesitate as I walk out; I couldn’t help myself to be a bit petty about her attitude I wasn’t a saint.

Walking down the stairs I don’t wait for her to catch up as I pick up my heels which had surprised me on the way out still in the same position as they were when I had threw them off running after kel-Jimmy ink.

I make my way into the living room which was still an absolute mess and as if it was an infection had spread to the kitchen and the other hall way behind the staircase. Like a moth to a flame I moved towards the dining area through the kitchen at the voices of the other jimmies and that laugh engraved into my brain; Rose. Turning the corner Rose’s face lights up as she gets up to give me a hug. Around the table was shite and Jimmima with Jimmy crystal at the head as always ; along with another chair next to Jimmy shite where rose had sat before hand.

As I walk over to the table Rose fills me in on the conversation they were having; apparently when me and Jimmy ink had disappeared upstairs a fight broke out and a knife was pulled on Jimmy Jimmy.

“Fucking hell was the other kid okay?” I ask in surprise taking a seat next to Jimmima facing Rose; her chair so close to shite that he had his arm around her waist. Arseholes. At least Rose got some action without any mess.

Jimmima laughed loudly giggling like a maniac “of course not!! We basically gave him charity in front of everyone, well Jimmy Jimmy did at least…” she ends her sentence disappointed as if she had missed out on all the fun.

“Nah you didnea miss much Jimmima he were a fuckin’ gimp who couldn’t control his coke; you like it better when they deserve it proper donea ya?” Jimmy shite is quick to chime in, I was yet to see this side of him, the brotherly support to Jimmima; they were one in the same and that meant fucking insane, obsessed with the gore of it all.

All attention was brought to the table as Jimmy crystal leant back in his chair, his smile light and airy but his words were deep and cut like a knife “Funny how Jimmy ink was on guard last night and neither her or you little missy cannea remember this very loud conflict that occurred,” I swallowed hard as I feel Rose turn towards me shite had a shit eating grin (which made me realise how understandable it was that he gained his name because it never leaves him) and Jimmima had zoned out eyes wide and nails to her lips “hell even I came down to see what all the noise was about, and wouldn’t you know, you weren’t in the kitchen or downstairs at all for the matter.” His chin now rested on the palms of his hands as he moved forward in a look of wondering.

In a surge of confidence I picked an apple from the middle of the table and took a bite leaning back in my chair “yeah probably because we were fucking soz.” I shrug and look away from him, anywhere but him, regret was a feeling I had stopped feeling since last night and I was fed up with his false niceness.

All eyes had went wide. Stares were held between shite and Jimmima and Jimmima and me and sir lord jimmy crystal didn’t even move; until he did.

“Everyone out…NOAW!” He yelled so loud by the time I had finished flinching Jimmima and shite jumped out of the chairs; guiding Rose with his hand, she glanced at me quickly before leaving the kitchen.

Jimmy slowly got up, his chains jingling as he walked towards me shoving jimmimas chair out of the way with his foot as he does. He, like his followers, doesn’t hesitate to move as he violently pulls my chair out so I’m facing him. My heart beat out of my chest, normally , after interacting with the sir lord but maybe it was the hangover or the come down, I did not (in this moment) give a flying fuck.

Surprisingly, he didn’t get in my face. He stood leaning against the table and moved his hand behind his back. Pulling his hand back he placed his black hand gun on the table in the small gap between us.

Silence fills the room for a beat. The action was clear as a warning could be. It was out and wasn’t afraid of being used. At the end of the day Jimmy didn’t necessarily need his jimmies to do his dirty work, but he liked the power and having numbers over people. A sudden loud sigh came out of his mouth, rather dramatic, and cutting through the internal monologue I was having with myself.

“Let me do the mundane task of reinforcing into your thick fucking scull, that this house, the jimmies, the parties, all started..because you cannea control yourself. By old nick, I see you here again, you DISTRACT one of my jimmies with or use your wee friends matchmaking like it’s fuckin love island, I will use this grand device and put a bullet in between your eyes and put you down like the disrespectful wee heretic you are,” his movement was swift I didn’t even realise he had moved before I felt a trickle of blood across my cheek; I felt the tension beneath my skin where his ringed knuckles had hit my face. He punched me. I cried out without meaning too, causing him to grab my face digging his fingers into my cheeks; what hurt the most was how it reminded me of ink, she had learnt it from him, “we clear?”

Tears well in my eyes as I look up at him, cold crystal blue glaring down back at me. As they fell over the edge, mixing with my blood and bruises falling onto his fingers he looked at me with pure disgust and annoyance at my lack of response, his rage was evident through his forceful grab of my top, bringing me to my feet; towering over me his ringed fingers reached my neck squeezing tight.

I struggled against his hands attempting to grip at them my breathe growing shorter as my lungs begged to receive oxygen. All I could focus on was Jimmys crooked smile and tense jaw, but most of all his pure enjoyment. He enjoyed seeing me squirm for air knowing he could break my neck and rid me from this plane-send me to old nick himself for further suffering. But something better happened, better than he could’ve imagined that worsened the blow, Kelly walked in. Her gasp filled the gaps between the sounds of my struggle causing Jimmy crystal to turn around.

I could only imagine what I looked like: blood gushing from my cheek, bruising appearing on my soft cheeks, tears rolling down and jimmies nails imprinted on both side of my face. Her lips were parted and eyes devoid of light, finally regret had filled my stomach as I squirmed even more struggling to breathe as the panic set in.

“Ah couldnea be more perfect with timing Jimmy ink! We’re just finishing up our productive conversation..,” his casualness was condescending turning from Jimmy ink and looking down on me “we’re all clear now aren’t we?”

I nodded my head vigorously up and down and spurting out a small “crystal.” Before he launched me out of his hands and onto the floor of the kitchen, hitting it with a hard smash my face felt bashed in, I whimpered and sobbed softly as I let myself remain where I had fell. This caught the attention of shite Jimmima and Rose as they all stood beside ink taking in the scene unfolding infront of them.

“Get her up out out now.” Jimmy crystal ordered with severe authority.

Shite moved first hoisting me up off the floor as Jimmima came to my other side supporting me. Everything was in slow motion as Rose’s face of pure horror followed me out and I watched as Kelly watched me leave. Not Jimmy ink. Kelly. I saw her again standing there for a split second, her eyes looked at me more than a threat and more than a friend, I was somewhere in between and it was horrific.

She followed close behind there was talk but it was all muffled, if I were asked a question I wouldn’t have responded. A hoodie was put around me, but it brought no comfort for the turmoil inside of my chest and head.

I walked into the car, Rose guided me inside of it I felt like I couldn’t breathe still, I just wanted to go home. I had watched as she said goodbye to Shite and closed my eyes. I passed out. Nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to attempt to listen see or communicate so I didn’t.

Opening my eyes again, the door was already open as two different hands guided me up. We were at Rose’s house. Her face was red, she had been crying or screaming, or both. There were questions swirling around me that I didn’t want to know the answer to. The last thing I remember is sitting in Rose’s bed I must’ve fallen asleep, I might’ve cried or not but my soul ached why? Just why? After such a nice night why? Terrified was an understatement, I was cold and tired. Rose held me, not the way Kelly did with such urgency but with a maternal instinct to protect me; but it was useless she couldn’t protect me from this, I needed to forget this, I had too, but my body ached for my hatred of Jimmy ink and my heart ached for Kelly.

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GANG AU! DEALER! JIMMY INK x F! READER

Summary: the weekend couldn’t come quick enough after your interaction with ink trying to suppress the voice in your head telling you there was an alterioir motive to the girl in reds words..and actions

Chapter 4: I only Party4U

The last few days blurred into one. Distracted by the infinitum of thoughts that swirled beneath my skull, I was in a constant state of a day dream, in school, in the bath and especially in bed. Night after night I layed up with my head to the ceiling questioning why the events of the last week had taken place how they had taken place and what it meant for me now.

Even after restless nights, I still had no clue. My body felt heavy going through my day to day, getting ready, doing revision; I couldn’t keep my thoughts in one place for more than a second.

It dawned on me that it was now Friday night, my thin blanket that remained at the bottom of my bed now sprawled out over me as it had been since I sat on my bed since arriving home from school.

My mothers tone of concern as I walked through the door still rang in my head “hiya lo-fuckin’ hell hun you look like boiled shite you okay?”

I had sighed forcing a tired smile across my lips trying not to wince at the mention of shite“yeah mum I think I’m due on feel a bit ill but I’ll be fine I promise.”

She hadn’t believed me. She always read me like a book it was actually scary. Even so, she had gave me a peck on the forehead and left me to go to my room. I hadn’t told her, of course. I didn’t need her worrying plus she would remind me of the path my dad took. He wasn’t around anymore and my mum was never specific on why but she made sure to drill it into me that he had a good reason; he was a good man. I believed her as I had no reason not to.

My mum was the type of woman who took no shit. She was always my biggest supporter and protector; rational and reasonable always keeping me in check. I admired her deeply and every time someone would tell me I looked or acted like her my chest would glow with pride. But saying that I know there were certain things I needed to figure out on my own.

The thought came to me almost as quickly as I jumped out of my bed grabbing my A3 sketchbook and ripping a page out of it before returning to my bed with a thud.

Splitting the page into two sections I labelled them “what I know” and “what I don’t know”. It seemed silly but realistically if this could help me organise my thoughts then so be it.

I think for a second before I start writing:

“What I know”-

I’ve on okay terms with sir lord jimmy crystal

Ink knew where I lived without me telling her

Ink gave “charity” to the creepy lad from the party

Jimmima assumed I was staying with ink

Shite is still pissed at me

Charity is what the jimmies do when someone fucks with their sir lord

Party on Saturday

I sigh as I struggle to conjure up anymore points to add. I kick myself for not asking ink about what Jimmima had said. Everything was so overwhelming to comprehend and I tried to suppress the feeling that grew in my chest at the thought of ink and her presence.

“What I don’t know”

Why Jimmy crystal invited me to the party

If I’m safe

If I should tell my mum what’s going on

What I can do to make things right with shite

What im going to wear for the gaff Saturday

How I felt about ink

My eyes freeze on the last point as I beg the question again in my head. How do I feel about ink? She made me flustered in her placement of her hands on my skin as if by nature she knew of the pressure points that make me feel weak in the knees. Even when she grabbed my face, her fingertips would soften ever so slightly over my cheek. I tried to suppress the thought of the look she gave me in the car and definitely tried to ignore the way her eyes would dart to my lips every so often.

Every movement she made was subtle but never lost on me. My mind craved conversation with her. I needed to know who she was what she liked and how certain things made her feel. She was scary but it enticed me even more as I Paired it with what Jimmima had said when I had helped her with dishes, I knew I wasn’t the only one who caught on to inks demeanour change, except it was obvious there were sides of the story I was yet to be filled in on. The time I spent with her was brief but I’ve always had an addictive personality. It doesn’t help she seemed into it in her own odd twisted way.

The thought of her not hesitating to shove shite off of me made me conflicted with how easily she had shoved me against the wall and grabbed me so aggressively when I had spoke out of turn. It felt like a cradle and slap on the head but I couldn’t stop revising and rehearsing every movement and breathe without overthinking it.

I suddenly remind myself of what ink had said in the car over shite. I wasn’t stupid I knew his reputation I had seen his temper snap and had also been held at knife point by him. I had no idea how to get him off my back: he could protect himself, he had money, he had equally insane mates and I had fuck all.

I grunt heavily as I throw my body back into my support system of pillows and a blanket; throwing my hands over my head I rest into myself and decide to call it a night after all it was Friday night,deciding that and the jimmies, ink and Jimmy crystal were Saturday’s problem.

———————————————————————————

My body woke with alarm. Hair covered my face and feel into my mouth as pressure increased around my middle, feeling two thighs pressed against my sides. As my eyes shoot open, my arms swing up as my adrenaline speeds through my viens.

“WOAH woah r/n calm it.”

My blurry vision finally focused on the form and face in front of me. Rose.

“Jesus Christ rose I almost decked you,” I say with an exasperation sigh,holding onto the sides of her arms. Her presence was less alarming as my mum would’ve allowed her into the house, it being her second home of course,“what’s going on why are u here?”

“Well, sorry for checking my bestie was still alive,” she giggles lightly before a more serious, though still light,expression dawned on her face, “no but seriously,girl I haven’t heard from you all week are you okay? Look I know last Friday was a shit show but I promise you will never have to be around Micheal or his little gang friends ever again.”

She smiles softly as her reassuring tone is like honeydew, further reminding me of how grateful I was to have someone so mad and fiercely loyal to me in my life. However, this feeling was also accompanied by the dread I felt knowing I had to spill everything that had occurred the past week. She noticed the smile on her face wasn’t reciprocated on my own and her face dropped with a mother’s concern.

“R/N. What?” She spoke in that tone I couldn’t disobey.

The next half an hour had felt quite on Rose’s end as I practically word vommited at her without a breathe between words. I told her everything. From the police chase and the bag how Jimmy crystal acted towards shite and eventually led to my confession of how ink had played the whole thing out and how the conversation in the car led me to even further conflicted feelings. I stare at her as her face falls further and deeper into levels of shock and confusion I had yet to see from her before.

“Well?” I ask desperately awaiting a response as the silence became deafening.

After a long draining pause, a sudden burst of laughter echoed around the room. Rose’s head swings back as her laugh became a cackle.

“‘WELL?’- R/N you are mad. Absolutely insane. I can’t believe you. Since when do you hang around with gangsters. Fucking hell I leave you for a week and you find yourself in a gang HAHAH,” she wipes a tear from her eye, her reaction leaving me in a state of shock, “no but how did that Jimmy ink know where to drop you off. Bit sketch that like-“

“Girl I don’t know,” I huff as I lie back down, “but she did invite me to another gaff-it’s tonight.”

“YOURE LYING OH MY GOD.”

“I mean what do I do? If my mum finds out I’m hanging out with a gang she’ll slap me stupid like I KNOW better- I should just fuck it off and go uni somewhere like 5 hours away,” I chuckle slightly before reality sets in, “Rose she’s gonna be here at 9.”

She smirks slightly before standing up off of my bed with a proud clap of her hands “right, first of all, you’re not fucking off 5 hours away so get that out of your head RIGHT now, and second of all, WE will be going tonight.”

I scoff slightly at her suggestion “rose fuck off that’s not happening I’m not letting you put yourself in harms way because of my stupid actions.”

She shakes her head softly “Nope nu-uh not hearing it if you think I’m letting you go by yourself you’re deluded.”

Knowing she wouldn’t let up I agree with a disobedient huff knowing Ink was getting double trouble rather than a sacrificial lamb tonight. Praying silently it won’t be an intrusion to Jimmy crystals space, but something eased in me as I realised the favour Jimmy showed towards me against shite. As the thought crossed my mind another creeped up behind it, it was morally questionable but if there was anyone who could help me solve it-it was rose.

“Hey so remember that Jimmy shite who was nicked from our school?”

“Yeah I was speaking to him for a while,why?” A smirk of pure mischievousness was plastered across her face. We exchanged a look similar to the one ink had given sir lord jimmy crystal at the dinner, at least we had that in common; we both had someone we could speak to telepathically.

———————————————————————————-

The evening had went almost paralleled to last Friday except me and rose were getting ready together this time. My room had looked like a bomb had gone off: clothes sprawled all over in the stress of picking an outfit, setting powder fragments over my desk, a speaker at full volume blasting my playlist and the half opened bottle of vodka that had sat by my desk since last week now poured into two cups. I looked hot as fuck. My hair curled and styled which cascaded down onto the hem of my corset top which pushed my chest up and together creating a perfect cleavage, my waist cinched; my skirt cutting off mid upper thigh.

Nerves still teased my stomach at the idea of going to sir jimmy crystals house, I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something going on under wraps and that I was still at the top of the iceberg. The noise of the night began to fill the atmosphere like I was with rose at the Jimmy house for the first time,except this time it’s different, we know what we’re for and who for. Steer clear of pissing off mr crystal get answers from ink about what the end goal is and Rose will distract shite. That was the plan anyways.

Rose had let me ramble about the girl in red while we got ready. I couldn’t help myself, it was like every thought and feeling I had felt bottled up (no matter how perverted or tame) came spilling out. Rose’s ear was a stabler in the madness of recent events, her ability to calm my spiral was a true talent.

“Wait- just so I get this right-“ Rose’s words startle me from my concentration of my pink and silver sparkly eye shadow “Jimmy crystal reckons he’s like what? The antichrist?”

I giggle slightly as I refocus my attention to my eyelid in the mirror “girl I don’t even know. But he’s got them all having upside down crosses between their eyebrows-fuckin weird,” I shake my head and scoff slightly before turning my attention to rose sitting at my desk “how do I look?”

Her body faces towards me and she lets out a breathily laugh with an almighty smirk “oh girl if ink doesn’t fuck you tonight I will.”

I cackle loudly and stand to get my drink left on my bedside; table taking a sip the harsh, bitter taste lingering in the back of my throat. Checking the time, 8:52, a long huff breaks through my lips making rose glance toward me with a dissatisfied smile.

“Please chick it’s gonna be okay. They might be violent and weird but I’m not scared of them and neither should you; if you feel like shits getting sketchy then we leave,okay?” Her expression stern with that motherly authority she held even though she was only a year older than me.

I giggle softly attempting to dissipate nervous energy, “yes of course. Also, you think Micheal is gonna be there?” I raise an eyebrow

Rose blows a raspberry, her lip liner clashing together in a disproving scoff “fuckin hope not he’s been messaging me like non stop even though I told him to fuck off like seventy million tim-“

Her words were cut off with the sound of a loud car horn. We both stare at each other as we mirror each others smirk. Quickly, we made our way down stairs grabbing our small bags and my white fur coat on the way. As rose puts her heels on I touch up my lip gloss in the mirror in my hallway.

“Your ride here,love?” The sound of my mums voice breaks my concentration on my lips.

“Yeah- me and Rose got invited last minute to an 18th,someone she went to primary with!” My voice was laced with false excitement as I motion towards Rose’s direction. My breathe hitched out of instinct as her face contorted into a completely unamused expression.

“Bit of an aggressive honk wann’it? Who’s giving you a lift?” Her arms crossed over chest as she leans against the staircase. I curse her intuition.

“Emma’s older sister,” Rose’s voice enters the conversation before mine can, “don’t worry Mrs R/L/N I’ll get us an uber home safe.” I look back at rose with as much gratitude as I can, her face feigned with cherub like innocence; absolutely brilliant at it.

Staring at us both she relaxes her body with a huff “okay good, thank you rose. You both look gorgeous, though that skirts more like a belt R/N…”

I scoff at her words playfully “mum please we have to go!”

She chuckles as she pulls me into a hug whispering a soft “be safe.” As she does. Slamming the door behind me turning my key into the lock, my eyes land on that all familiar red and white tracksuit.

Linking with rose, we walk to car as best we can with our heals clacking against the gravel of the road. Ink was outside the car leaning against the driver door her hands enclosed in front of her. Her face contorted into a confused snarl at the girl intertwined with my arm.

“Hey ink!” Rose says with a faux friendly smile before immediately getting into the back seat leaving just me and ink outside of the car.

“The fuck is she doing?” Ink turns towards me almost completely baffled at Rose’s audacity. A cruel snarl making its way to her lips.

“You really think I’m gonna come to one of yours gaffs alone?” I snarl right back at her.

She steps closer to my frame making my heart almost beat out of my chest. “I told you Jimmy invited you, YOU, no one else. Don’t know if you’re just a fucking idiot but if you can’t seem to remember for whatever reason, you originally pissed Jimmy off for inviting yourself to his house now you’re inviting other girls?”

I laugh right in her face at her attempt at name calling “well you must’ve hit your head since because lest we forget, last time I was alone at jimmys gaff one of your monterex ninjas tried to force himself on me, so yeah, I’m not taking that risk again.” I step even closer invading her personal space her nose inches from mine smiling as calmly as I could “okay?”

I don’t even wait for her response as I walk to the passenger side of the car getting in and fastening my seatbelt. There’s a hesitation in inks action to get into the car that makes the rest of the car ride slightly awkward.

After 15 minutes, we arrived. The car pulled into the front of house in the same spot it was parked when I had been driven home by ink earlier in the week. The shadow casted on the house from the outside lights was ominous but the rainbow stream of light from inside flashed through the windows.

Ink was the first to get out following rose from behind me. Ink had caught me off guard, as I had turned to unfasten my seatbelt she had made her way around the car and had opened the passenger door for me. At first, her eyes refused to meet mine, until they did and she motioned for me to make my way out of the car and to the house. A small glow beamed from my chest at the gesture; chivalry was clearly inks form of a weak apology.

Smiling softly as I got out of the car muttering a soft gratitude, rose caught my eye which turned into an almost manic smirk her eyes wide in response to the interaction she had just witnessed.

Ink entered the house first, the familiar feeling of the base of the speakers flooding my system as the door opened, the heat of bodies making me drop my fur coat from my shoulders almost immediately. Ink moved smoothly from the house shoving one lad who seemed too drunk too early out of her way which led him crashing into a nearby wall, it had caught me off guard that a loud laugh escaped my mouth which caused ink to turn around for the first time since we walked through the threshold; she had tried to hide her smirk by turning around but nothing she did got passed me.

Making our way through the sea of bodies, we land in the kitchen where I’m met with the sight of most of the Jimmys; except for Jimmima and Jimmy Jimmy. Jones and snake where by the make shift bar both flushed in the face and keeping close to each other.

“Oh Hey!!” Jones greets ink with a hug and surprisingly embraces me in one too, snake nods his head without much to say “you back already huh?” They whisper barely coherent but I just managed to catch it.

“Haha, yeah- may as well get my own room at this point.” I giggle lightly as I pull away from the embrace.

“The only people who need to get a room are you two.” A loud Welsh accent cuts through our conversation; turning to see fox and shite leaning on the opposite counter.

“Come on ink you know what sir lord is like..cannea bring a bitch in the house he doenea like dogs.” Shite bites through hooded eyes, clearly my lack of presence during the week gave him enough time to stew that come back.

I hold back a snark as I fake a smile “shite, always a pleasure.” I ignore fox completely as I come to realise he’s just a yes man for the slightly taller Scottish lad. This however earned me a cold glare that made jones and snake move out the way laughing amongst themselves as shite moved closer towards me and ink; fox close behind him. The way he moved attacked the atmosphere around me, but I didn’t shy away, he opened his mouth as if his mouth was a loaded gun preparing to shoot me down and destroy any confidence or safety I felt but it was just what I needed to bite back first.

“You remember rose right?” I ask quickly stepping back softly before springing back with rose in tow. This made shite step back slightly. Checkmate.

I could not stress this enough if I tried but rose was gorgeous. Like, the type of girl shite would shag and eventually fall for;well that was the plan anyway. And shite was…not so blessed. He knew it she knew it and it was a massive gamble because he wasn’t stupid; some girls would fawn over drug dealers due to the reputation free stash and the money but shite wasn’t just a runner for Jimmy crystal he was a soldier. The dinner with Jimmies made me realise crystal made it clear they had a mission; and if Jimmy had told shite not to have any fun tonight then he wouldn’t. I begged to god the universe and even old nick for Rose’s advances to work.

“Hiya shite long time no see.” Rose wraps her arms around his neck seductively and kisses him on the cheek softly before letting go. Fuck yes rose. For once, his face dropped. I held my breathe as I waited for his response as he looked between me ink and rose.

“You cannea be seriou-“ shite had started but rose was faster.

“Sorry, I’m just really greatful that you beat the shit out of that Micheal for slipping something into my drink last time I was here.” She controlled her tone to be smooth as silk and even though in heels made herself seem small, this however caught shites attention.

“Who told you that?” He peered down at her with an accusatory snarl arms crossed his chest losing the gap between them tension building.

“Oh you know,” she takes a puff of her vape and blows the smoke right into his face.

My heart races and my head spins to ink but she seems entertained. Her eyes meeting mine a smirk reached her face as she motions to the pair behind me again. Turning back around I brace myself for a fight.

“You wanna drink?” Shite asks with the same coldness in his voice as before as if he were still interrogating her.

“As long as u don’t spike it!!” She answered cheerily as she grabbed him away from towards the bar not letting him glance back at me and ink. Fox looked at me and scoffed as he walked away. I tried to hide a prideful smirk (key word tried) but it seemed almost impossible because the plan had worked.

Turning back towards ink she had that same entertained smirk on her face. I stepped closer to her as she grabbed a private stash of bottles from the fridge in front of her and poured us both a drink.

“What?” I ask softly, I wasn’t complaining to see her smirk so long as she had soft dimples you could only see close in the light;I was soaking it in.

She handed me the cup and faced me. I felt compelled to mirror her expression as she scoffed playfully, “oh come on.. don’t start with the whole clueless act. You know exactly what you just did; I’m just surprised you pulled it off.” She grins at me as she takes a sip out of her cup. Her eyes remained on my face.

I roll my eyes playfully trying to contain my relief and giddiness “well you underestimate me Jimmy ink. Plus, I actually did nothing rose did all the taking,” I step slightly closer to her “I told you I’d figure an in with shite, rose felt bad about ruining my night last week and wanted to make sure shite didn’t ruin it-plus I think she still thinks he’s fit so win win.” I shrug and giggle at her wide eyed expression

“She finds HIM fit?” She shakes her head softly in disgust as I continued to laugh.

“I’m not even joking I said the exact same thing when she told me she was speaking to him months ago. Don’t know exactly what she saw but I’m not one to judge.”

An hour or so had passed and me and ink had been generous in the pouring of our third drink which had led to us being more tipsy than either of us had registered. We had joked with jones and snake over the sight of shite and rose on the couch (both pretending to be tame knowing individually were both bat shit insane) before making our way to the living room an hour later dancing against each other, before making our way back to the kitchen pouring another drink when I notice her eyes bare into me as if she was looking for something she couldn’t find, i tilt my head slightly to the side curiously,“what?” i ask cautiously with a squinted brow.

Inks braids move against her face as she shakes it side to side “nothing.” She mutters into her cup taking a bigger gulp than expected.

“No seriously what it is? You keep looking at me like that what is it?” I ask pressing into her more. I take a risk and reach out brushing her arm lightly.

Her gaze becomes fixated on my hand pressing lightly on her upper arm, the bitter liquid seeping slowly into my veins gave me an increasingly intense surge on confidence. Eventually, her deep brown eyes make me feel like putty as I’m put under a gaze, different then her usual routined unbothered aggravated or amused expression.

“You’re intoxicating. Every time you’re near me I cant focus on anything else.” Her tone was a mix of awe and lack of confidence. As if on cue her head snaps back towards the party in front of us, the usual mix of emotion returning to her face, as she takes another gulp of her drink. I’m stunned. I thought I imagined the tension between us but this made every thought I deemed delusion reality. The party boomed around us but all I could watch was the confusion brewing in her brow, other than that the world filled with silence.

Suddenly, that silence is broken as ink moves away muttering something along the lines of “I have to go to talk to the sir lord.”As she moves away and disappears into the swallowing crowd, my heart races in my ears as I can’t help but chase after her. I refuse to not take my chance after all the hell of turmoil I’ve been put through the last week, I deserve this, so does she.

Pushing through the sweaty crowd her red jacket guided me like a moth to a light, like a phoenix to a flame, I couldn’t resist shoving the bodies In my way desperation filling my movements as I continued to make my way through the living room and watch as the red haired girl makes her way up the stairs, I giggle softly at myself , again with the stairs.

I quickly kick off my heels in the hallway and run up after her watching as she turns the corner at the top. I couldn’t feel my body as it moved forward. Pure instinct intuition or madness I’m not sure but my body craved to follow where she went. Turning the corner on the upper floor I come face to face with the door I had seen slam behind her. My breathe hitched as my body continued to move opening the door and slamming it behind me as ink had done before me.

My eyes opened, slowly. I hadn’t registered how long they had been closed. But the swirl of warmth and dissipating desperation filled my soul, I couldve cried. My lower back supported by two strong hands, as my own supported each side of ink’s cheeks, moving in slow circles in motions of comfort. Our lips once intertwined now slowly falling away from each other as we both suffer from shaky breathes and attempts at slow breathing.

Inks hand snaps to my wrist, forcing me back into the room, feeling like I wanted to be swallowed whole as my eyes widened. Fuck. Why did I do that. She could kill me. She should kill me if say thank you. She’s such a prick why am I doing this to myself.

My thoughts feel like they’re about to bust out of my brain. “Shit ink I’m sorry I don’t know why I di-“my blurt of apologies were cut short as her hand on my wrist travelled to the back of my head, guiding our lips to interlock again, as her other hand pulled her hips closer to mine. A desperate hum of aggressive satisfaction filled the room as she forces my body against the door with a messy shove. We almost move in synch to the base below as my hands wrap in between her braids, holding on as if she was filling me with the only oxygen in the room. Her lips pressed so softly against mine, nothing but complete attraction and warmth filling my body. Her tongue breaks into my mouth, dancing with my own rather than a fight for dominance as we both relax into each others hold. Pressure built up almost immediately in my core, less of a want and way more over a need, completely overwhelming my senses.

With a small gasp we break apart. Panting desperately not just for air but each other. She tastes of vodka and sweet bitterness, her hold was a soft dominance that held me together at the response of her touch. Ink holds onto my cheek, so softly it spoke as an apology for every time she had dug her nails into the sides of my jaw. She places her forehead to mine, light illuminating my vision as my eyes open slowly. Inks freckled complexion in this way could’ve of brought me to tears. She was a fallen angel; A real heretic. I felt every speck of corruption in her soul and wanted nothing less than all of it. Her breathing slowed as she caught her breathe, eyes still shut as if scared to open them and be faced with a sudden rejection; or something worse.

“Ink..” I whisper softly untangling my own hand from her hair and to her face.

A harsh shaky breathe is released from her nose and her face moves an inch further away as her deep brown eyes meet with mine. She doesn’t speak, and for once neither to do I. I took in every detail of her face: the scarred lip and cheek, every dot that seemed to be placed by old nick himself,her wispy lashes, her symmetrical brows, the small concave that appears more when she smiles and back up again to her eyes, which had stayed on me exploring in a different way. Ink looked at me like she was trying to find something cynical, something to stop her, making her hesitate more than I had bare witnessed to before.

Suddenly,the hand that rested on my cheek hoisted up my bare left thigh, resting it against her hip and edging her knee in between my legs pressing softly into my core. My eyes widened and chest rose and fell at a quicker pace, falling under inks gaze I couldn’t help but smirk excitedly. Leaning in closer to my face her gaze darts from my eyes then down to my lips switching between the two again.

“Kelly” She whispers lightly, I barely heard it.

“Kelly?” I ask softly tilting my head slightly to meet her eyes.

Reciprocating my tilt, she lets out a lightly laugh, “Kelly.”

I giggle softly bringing my other hand to her other cheek, holding her face in my hands, “Kelly.”

Ink, or Kelly now, closed the gap between us taking my lips in between hers as I wrap my arms around her neck. Growing more aggressively I can’t stop myself from moaning into the kiss. Without warning Kelly picked up my body carrying me over to what I assumed was her bed. Lying me down, she hovers over me, smirking over my eagerness and her chance to take advantage of it.

“D’you want me to make you feel good? Hmm?” Kelly’s tone was completely shifted, she wanted something and she was utterly determined to get it, learning a trick or two from leading the other jimmies her seduction was complete dominance.

“Yes,Kelly- please.” Remembering my manners quickly she stood up and held out her hand which I took without question. Twirling me around so I’m stood facing the bed, Kelly lyes in the middle of the bed back on her elbows almost manspread with her legs hanging off of the bed.

“Show me then.” She says in full seriousness a waiting smirk appearing on her face as she takes off her jacket leaving her in a white wife beater and her gold chain on her upper body.

Instead of a verbal response, I muster as much as a seductive smirk as I can, sliding down my skirt while moving my hips in a slow and steady rhythm until they fall to the floor and I step out of them. I watch as her smirk slowly falters and her chest rises and falls excessively as she looks me up and down. I slowly zip down my corset revealing the second piece of my matching set black lace fabric and blue encrusted design. I spin around slowly grasping at my asscheeks as I spin, feeling myself up. Returning back to facing Kelly I walk slowly to the edge of the bed shaking my hips with every step, leaning over and grasping the chain around her neck In my hand pulling her up into a sitting position; my other hand resting on her upper chest.

Straddling myself over her legs, her eyes traced over every inch of my body. I had never had someone look at me in such adoration and it gave me a spike In confidence as I play with her chain focusing on that rather than her.

“I mean I could always get dressed again, If I didn’t show you enough..” my eyes dart to her face looking at her with a faux concern plastered on my face. I didn’t even register a response as I was flipped onto my back, lips and teeth collided in a desperate tango. Kelly moved her mouth down to my jaw and soft spot of my neck that made an involuntary squeal escape my mouth, moving slowly she unhooked my bra letting my tits relax onto my chest. A slight pause occurred, then she continued working her way ravenously down my torso, her head now in between my thighs.

In one attempted snap, my underwear was ripped and to the side, I gasped in disbelief and protest which caused Kelly’s head to snap up “I’ll get you new ones.”

I chuckle at her response which quickly became a soft moan. Kelly’s tongue dove into my core and entangled itself with my clit almost immediately. Out of instinct my hand reached for the back of her head and my hips bucked into her face. The buzzing in my core turned into mini fireworks as she continued working into me moaning around my core sending vibrations to my chest. As if she felt the transfer of electricity within me, her hand reached up and began to play with my breast focusing on building friction on either side of my nipple.

“Mm Kelly..” I huffed out in a moan making eye contact with her I felt that same smirk that was planted on her face before hand return. She had me right where she wanted me and I was not complaining. Sadistically, she entered two fingers into me. Unprepared by the pleasure, I instinctively cried out clutching the back of her head. Before I knew it, Kelly had crawled up and was now hovering over me, her free hand gripping both sides of my chin aggressively.

“Look at me.” Her low tone catches my attention,leading me to her chocolate eyes once more. Even through her aggressiveness, her touch was soft enough for me to relax into her hold. Her fingers slowly started to move like a wave inside of me the friction causing the sparks in my core to grow tighter. My mouth remained a gape as my eyes locked onto the pair in front of me, even when the pleasure made me feel like my eyes may roll all the way back into my scull.

As her motion sped up, Kelly’s thumb found my clit once again, circling slowly, causing my breathe to fall short.

“Kelly- Kelly please, please.” I begged in desperation painfully aware that I wasn’t making sense. My heart thumping to the base below us.

“Please what?hmm?” She asked with such mockery my cheeks grew flushed; but I could only focus on the tension that built more and more between my legs.

“Please Kelly. I need to- I need you to let me-“ I whine softly in frustration as struggle to get my words out blinded by pleasure.

A low cold laugh echoed in my ears as I open my eyes from my slow blink to see Kelly laughing over me. Seeing my gaze focused on her she leans closer barely an hair away from my lips which caused me to attempt to capture them once more, causing another laugh to leave her throat. Peering down on me as she spoke the burning inside me threatened to spill.

“I’ll give you whatever you ask for, R/N. As long as you say it out loud.” Her grip on my face tightened as she leaned in closer kissing my lips softly as her other hand continued to flow inside and outside of me.

Breaking away from the kiss with a loud gasp for air as my body attempted to release onto Kelly’s fingers, a loud moan leaves my throat involuntarily.

“plea-se Kelly make me come please can I come?” I clung onto her body in complete and utter desperation remaining my gaze on her as requested.

Without a word her lips reconnect with mine, equally desperate and quick to break away. Her fingers increase in speed around my clit causing my body to convulse beneath her, her eyes never left my complexion once even as I unfolded beneath her frame with my head snapped back in complete ecstasy; her fingers matching the ride out of my orgasm in perfect harmony.

Opening my eyes again my, as my body convulsed at the slight over stimulation my hands find the top of Kelly’s shoulders, taking in slow shaky breathes as I come down from my high. Kelly’s smirk remained on her face as I caught my breathe finally, looking back up at her I smiled softly and with little force brought her face closer to my own to kiss her softly enjoying her affectionate response after such an amazing performance.

Letting go from the kiss, Kelly moved to my side with a sigh getting up off of the bed without a word. Moving towards a set of chested draws on the right side of the room she returns back to sitting beside me on the bed as she hands me a pair of black cotton underwear.

“You’re an absolute fiend I hope you know that.” I giggle taking the underwear and standing up to put them on and re clasping my bra as I crawl over to her on the bed, laying on my side alongside her resting my head on my propped up hand.

Kelly had started rolling a spliff on the side of the bed licking the edge of the paper swiftly and punching the ends“I have no problem replacing every pair of underwear you have as long as I can see you like that again.” She scoffs turning to face me momentarily a sly playful smirk dancing across her face as she does.

My eyebrows raise at her statement, “you saying this isn’t a one night stand kind of thing?” A surprised smirk reached my face as she turned her body fully around to face me an equally surprised look upon her face.

Moving towards me, her hand brings my chin up to meet her lips. It was more intimate than the heavy desperate make out we had had, softer less tongue. “Yes, yes I am.” She says it so matter of factly that I almost forget the context into what she is responding to.

“Kelly.” I say as she stands spliff in her mouth lighting it and exhaling handing it to me which I happily accepted taking in a deep inhale.

“What?” She responded guarded, almost defensive.

I smirk playfully exhaling smoke “nothing just getting used to saying it rather than ‘Jimmy ink’” giggling lightly a slight bit of smoke got caught in my lungs causing me to cough roughly which had started to make me laugh as the weed had slowly entered my system. After my coughing fit subsided I looked up to see Kelly sitting on the edge of the bed away from me looking more towards the direction of the floor.

“Kell?” I say softly as I edge closer in her direction.

“Don’t,” she started refusing to face me, “don’t start using it. If you say it in front of Jimmy he’ll flip his shit and on old nick he’ll hurt you or me. Or hurt you to hurt me,” she sighed lowly before turning to face me slightly before returning to her original position “when we’re alone and together by all means,please do but don’t slip up; don’t get used to it.”

I stopped myself from making a comment on how stupid Jimmy was for getting so wound up about them using their real names but Kelly’s desperation made me decide against it. One part stood out loudly. “Hurt you to hurt me.” Being stupid wouldn’t lead to getting myself hurt anymore but the people around me I cared for most. Ink spoke like she knew from experience which made my chest feel heavy still over clouded discomfort brought by smoking.

What I did decide to do was to crawl over to inks back, using her shoulders at support I let my arms dangle in front of her beside either side of her neck; my face coming beside the right side of her face. I couldn’t help but admire her side profile as I came close to her ear kissing the side of her jaw, making my way up towards her ear.

“Well then, kellykellykellykellykellykelly,” I whisper softly in her ear “I’ll enjoy using it when it’s just us,alone,together.” I end my sentence with a big kiss to the cheek which earns me a soft, genuine pleased smile on Kelly’s face.

I leave from behind Kelly to jump off the bed picking up my corset top and skirt from the floor readjusting both items of clothing to fit as they did when I had first opened the room. Watching as ink gets up, she makes her way to a cupboard opening it the door on the inside was a body length mirror. Making eye contact with me, ink nudged her head towards the mirror, this made me smile as I walk around the Fran of the bed and correcting my outfit and hair that had frizzed and makeup that had smudged slightly.

As I finish up, Kelly had put her jacket back on and finished the end of the spliff, closing the wardrobe door I face her in my previously worn attire, spinning in a full 180 landing with my hands on my hips posing exaggerating my ass as I bent over slightly “how do I look?” I ask sarcastically

Kelly chuckles before rolling her eyes covering her face with one hand as she steps closer towards me, slapping my ass harshly, causing me to stand straight to attention. Walking past me she guided my hand from behind her to follow her out of the room stopping at the top of the stairs as she turns to face me one last time before we walked down.

“Remember what I said about slipping up. Don’t say anything even in front of jones and especially not around shite. Okay?” She asked desperately.

I smile softly caressing her cheek with my hand as I bring my lips to her own which she gladly reciprocates, easing her tense expression pulling away I take her hand in mine once again smiling playfully,“whatever you say, Jimmy ink.”

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GANG!AU Dealer!jimmy ink x f!Reader

Summary: an unexpected dinner with the jimmies and their mighty leader goes better than expected especially when it leads to some alone time with the girl in red

Chapter 3:The Ride

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Forks scraping at plates and a chorous of laughter and banter echoed within the four walls of the dim lit kitchen. The night had drawn in, casting a dark shadow over the house. There were seven jimmies who lived with Jimmy crystal in total “these are my seven fingers; seven fingers make a strong fist in the eye of old nick.” he had said when I had questioned the upside down crosses they all bared in between their eyebrows. I had just assumed old nick was a metaphor for his supply and demand import export business and paid it no mind until he mentioned his relation to ‘old nick’. He genuinely thought he was the Antichrist. The only heir to the devil. Cool. Right.

Earlier, when I had first walked in behind ink, every Jimmy sat around the table stopped their conversation a combination of snarls and confused glances towards me; the exception being the two jimmys by the stove cooking who had not noticed my arrival more entrapped in each other eyes than the task at hand; later finding out out they were called Jimmy snake and Jimmy jones.

I first made eye contact with Jimmy shite. His dark blue tracksuit top discareded somewhere upon his arrival back after a drop off which left him in a wife beater; his gold chain resting on the hem just by the scar across his neck that was once so close to my own. He scowled in confusion as I took a seat opposite ink “the fuck she doin ‘ere sir.”

I roll my eyes softly as the air lord spoke in defence.

“Now now shite, that’s no way to treat such a guest of honour.” His faux friendliness still made my skin crawl not an ounce sincerity in his voice, “the wee lassie found some of my gear Jimmy ink discarded on her travels.” His tone still laced with venom his anger clearly not lost

Inks head snaps towards her leader who responded with a dark laugh which was cut short by his own words his eyes darting to his group and myself addressing the confusion that lingered in the air.

“it seems introductions are in order- Ink.” His finger which lent on the table perked up in inks direction as her eyes lifted up slightly to meet mine bread halfway in her mouth her neck tattoo bobbing as she swallowed.

“Jimmy Ink.” Her posture was guarded with one leg up on the seat, as if to still protect her sir lord even with his cruel temperament, sat at the right hand of Jimmy crystal. A sarcastic smile reached my lips as if not obvious we had already been introduced.

“Jimmy jones.” The next Jimmy introduced themselves without second thought it seemed. Their hair shaved into a skinhead dyed a dusty blonde. Piercings decorated their ears and a genuine grin appeared on their face, friendly.

“Jimmy snake.” Came from the skinniest lad dressed in a white variation of the track suit they all seemed to wear. He had dark eyes and only glanced in my direction, almost tired, glum, like he didn’t want to be there. His hand placed on Jimmy jone’s thigh.

“Jimmy Jimmy.” Caught me by surprise. I hadn’t noticed before only taking his face into account as we made eye contact he sat on the corner of the table as I had clearly taken his normal seat at the left of Jimmy crystal. His face had scar tissue along his eye and down the side of his nose which made me pray silently but was a birth mark and not some form of sick of enjoyment from mr crystal. He noticed my staring as he hesitantly glanced back up from his plate finally making eye contact, I smiled softly and he lowered his head again.

Only a long silence, and hard death stare came from the other head of the table, when it was time for the next Jimmy to make an introduction. This caused an agitated huff to come from the leaders mouth as his hand slammed on the table,hard, causing all the cutlery and bowls to clatter against the hard surface. I was surprised to see I wasn’t the only one who flinched at the loud noise.

“She knows who I am.” He responds swiftly not looking up from his plate.

“Don’t be a shithouse, Jimmy shite.” That oh so familiar cold gaze made shites chest rise and fall at a quick pace as he darts his eyes between me and the sir lord.

“But sir she-“ his hand raises as he points in my direction.

“ENOUGH..Fucking backchat. You answer to me not your pathetic feelings. Unless you don’t wanna be a Jimmy no more? Hmm? How about you Go back to your equally pathetic father.” Jimmy looks at me as he continues, “one of our best customers you know? Always zonked out of his face.”

I look back at shite his head low, facing his plate his arms by either side of his plate. The silence deafening. I turn to look at ink, she seemed unbothered still picking at her bread her eyes raise at my look as she smirks at me raising her eyebrows as if to say “told you it was okay” making me mask a smirk which keeps her lips upturned as she continued to eat.

Low giggles came from Jimmy Jimmy and a blonde girl sitting next to me. Shite eventually looking up his face almost unreadable as almost militant he responds simply.

“Sorry sir,” he continues to eat his food glancing up at me a small snarl reaching his eyes “Jimmy shite.”

“Jimmy fox.” Followed quickly after. I leaned forward to make eye contact with him. His Welsh accent catching me off guard. Meeting his crooked grin snarling as he looked away.

Suddenly the girl in blue next to me had turned her head her eyes seemed to be void of any emotion as i stared back at her. Her gaze almost matched the intimidation jimmy crystal had over shite moments before; unimpressed and dangerous. I squirmed under her gaze slightly which she seemed to notice making her mouth twist into a manic grin tilting her head to the side as she introduced herself“Jimmima”.

Her skin was like porcelain compared to inks tanned complexion. Jimmimas attitude made me think about how contrasting yet similar in strength they all seemed to carry. Different but united as one.

I glanced at the leader before looking back at the group.

“R/N. Nice to meet you,” My eyes make contact with Shite who’s hard look refused to soften making my tongue slip “well most of you anyways, shithouse”

A loud laugh echoed which was followed by a mumble of giggles from the others. The sound of metal colliding could be heard as Jimmy crystals wronged fingers clapped together. I watched him look in Inks direction as he motioned towards me.

“Quite the backbone on this one.”

I buried the pride I felt at his encouragement. As much as it felt nice I knew within a wrong word or glance I could be in shites current position; the butt of the joke. The comment of his dad still rang in my head making myself a promise to never let him see me at a low point.

I only finished a small amount of my plate which Jimmima then passed around the table to anyone who wanted seconds which caused a momentary argument between her and Jimmy jones.

“That’s not fucking fair you had the most out of everyone to begin with give some more to Jimmy Jimmy!” Jimmimas voice rang childish and whiny, a contrast to the girls earlier cold demeanour, which only grinded on jone’s nerves.

“I cooked the whole fucking meal I think I’m entitled to it!spoiled brat!”jones groaned in response.

“Ugh your such a fat fuck!”

I chuckled at how riled up the two were almost immediately. For the next half hour, the jimmies actually made me forgot the real reason I was there in the first place. Seeing how they interacted with each other contradicted everything I had heard about them. They were still dangerous and scary as fuck sometimes but though they were only a few years older than me they acted like demented children under the supervision of a psychotic trusted adult. I noticed crystal only piped into a conversation to tell an anecdote from prison or the “teletumies” or to share wisdom of old nick before cracking a clear warning of loyalty and complete commitment to his will. What did catch me off guard was when he motioned for Jimmima to do a “dipsy dance” which she happily obliged to; in response a roar of laughter and a genuine smile from crystals face. For a split second I caught a glimpse of inks expression that seemed bored compared to the other devoted listeners who drank up his words like honey. Losing my gaze as quickly as she caught it she acted more interested than before. Weird.

After a while of conversation,Chairs scraped against the wooden floor as the group took their plates to the sink. Jones had already grabbed mine so, instinctively, I picked up the plates that once held chicken and the salad bowl as I also made my way to the sink. This earned a look of suprise between ink and crystal that made me think they could speak telepathically at the way they both laughed after a while of staring at each other.

It seams they had a system for everything in their household, no matter how dysfunctional Jimmy crystal made it. Jones and snake cooked, fox and Jimmy Jimmy washed dishes and Jimmima put them away. I grabbed a spare tea towel and helped out Jimmima as ink and shite remained sat at the table; Shite taking the seat I once sat at. They were both hyper focused drawn like moths to a flame, I shrugged it off as business talk.

“You staying with ink tonight?” Jimmima spoke up tearing my eyes away from the mother’s meeting happening on the other side of the room.

“What?,” the question had caught me off guard momentarily making my cheeks flush at the thought of sharing a bed with the girl in red, “oh no- no I’m going home after this, hopefully” I mumble the last past but it seemed nothing slips past her cat like senses. Always overly alert.

There’s a beat of silence and a sing-song hum that rings between Jimmimas lips before I ask “what makes you ask that?”

“Ink stares at you like I stare at people before charity.” She grins slightly as she tilts up to put a dry glass onto the top shelf.

My brows furrow in confusion “what is charity? Ink mentioned it before.” Regret filled my stomach as I asked. And it was a valid response as her answer was exactly what I had expected it to be.

“We give charity to dumb fucks who mess with sir lord jimmy crystal. If you fuck with sir your fucking with old nick. We give their souls back to old nick as an apology for their insolence. It’s amazing.” Her grin wide as she jumps up and down while squealing waving around the tea towel like a flag of pride; which the other payed no mind to.

“It’s what inky did to that fuckface lad who got too touchy with you.” She said it so monotone I almost didn’t hear it. Like it wasn’t anything new.

“Wha- wait- how do you know about that?” Confusion filled my tone.

“I was at the party too dummy. Just got there later then everyone else, Jimmy had me go on a special job!” She boasts with pride. I chuckle at her name calling realising how entertaining her immaturity was.

I was still trying to process what she had said about charity and decided in the moment to never ask another question about it to anyone. I mean, I already guessed from the amount of news alerts of “a severely dismembered body has been found by police” which coincidentally coincided with the whispers at school of owed money fights at gaffs and people who had gone missing had something to do with the infamous gang. But most importantly, how Jimmima had described how ink looked at me. Did she really hurt that lad who groped me? Why would the look link to me staying in her bed? The recollection of inks muscular arm across my chest her fingers pressed into my face as she forced me to look at her tattoo clear as day and inches away from my chin.

My thoughts are broken by the scraping of a chair. I turn to see ink take a step towards the kitchen area but stopping just as she is aligned at the entry towards the hallway her head moving towards the same direction as she made eye contact with me. “Come on I’ll drive you home.”

Suddenly,Jimmimas arms wrapped around my shoulders a pout emerging across hee lips as she whined like a child who was being sent to time out, “what?? Nooo no fair!! She can’t leave yet we were getting to the good stuff!! Please sir Jimmy let her stay!!”

Crystals head turns to face the temper tantrum “now now Jimmima. I’m sure R/Ns mother cannea have her babe out so late on a school night. Cmon let her go.” His tone was eerily patient when he conversed with Jimmima taking not of that his words making me pause before slinking out oh her arms.

I feel her arms loosen as I smile softly in her direction “bye.” I whisper softly which makes her quickly wave back in response. I turn to the other jimmies still washing dishes a genuine smile meeting my face “thanks for washing up.” Jimmy Jimmy gives me a thumbs up in response which makes fox nudge him harshly in the ribs.

Making my way past ink I stand to face Jimmy crystal as he is sat down at the head of the table. I breathe in before I speak “thank you for your hospitality and I’m sorry again for the trouble and general fucking headache I caused the other night.”

He looks towards Jimmy shite before a broad smile reaches his face “well I appreciate the fucking initiative you took today. Ink would’ve been in old nicks bad graces for fuck knows how long if it weren’t for you,” his head turns to inks direction as he chuckles lightly “now get to fuck I cannea have your ma sending the polis to my door.” I chuckle at his response and make my way towards ink who had waited for me at the doorway.

Opening the door for me, I walk out into the fresh cool breeze of the night. Being outside of the house allowed me to take in a real breathe as my body relaxed as my hair moved around the sides of my face softly. Hearing the door slam I turn to ink with a soft smile which wasn’t reciprocated instead she motioned towards the vehicle. I make my way towards the passenger side of the black Mercedes that I had once saw race past me earlier that day, taking note of the bullet shaped holes that had been filled in by what looked like melted metal and a layer of black paint clearly a fresher coat compared to the original paint job; even in the night it was obvious.

Taking a seat into the car I take in the luxury of the interior. It was definitely the nicest car I had ever been in with LED around the edge of every curve that lit up a light blue and a screen with every application a phone would have. Putting on my seatbelt, I catch inks eye.

“Where do you live?” She asked coolly.

“Oh erm 65 Enfield avenue. It’s like the back road of North park.” I describe an address but it’s not mine, but Rose’s. As much as I knew having her address in their midst was worse for her than me but I didn’t dare risk putting my mum in danger like that. And respectfully, Rose is technically the one who started the chain of events that ended up with me in the presence of Jimmy crystal in the first place.

“Mhm yeah I know it.” She answers casually before reversing out of the driveway. There was a twinge in the way she hummed which briefly caused me to side eye her before looking out the front window once again.

The ride was silent. Or should I say initially it was silent. Inks phone had automatically connected to the car which had allowed for notifications to pop up on the screen around 17 messages had come through, all different contacts, the names made me giggle lightly “dickhead #1” “fuckface” “slippy” “ballerima” “dickhead #2”. This had caused ink to turn the screen off entirely with a huff.

“Swear to fuck they’re so fucking annoying.” She muttered under her breath.

“Let me guess dickhead #1 is shite?” Her head snapped towards me as if she had been caught off guard by my presence. Her head snapped back to the road as she chuckled lightly,

“S’not like it’s a hard guess.” She said smugly which made my eyebrow lift slightly.

“Oh please, he could’ve easily been fuckface or even dickhead #2.”

She nodded her head slightly as she glanced between the left and right of the junction “Touché.”

After that conversation ended I had the urge to keep it going. That restless feeling bubbling up inside me. I kept taking small glances at her face. The swirl of her edges and the outline of her nose and lips,the slight baggage under her eyes. I hesitated slightly as my glances seemed to grow longer. I imagine how her features would look if we ki-

“Spit it out.” My thoughts are interrupted by her blunt command. Her eyes still concentrated on the road.

“What?!” I ask defensively

“I can feel your eyes burning into the side of my head you’re not slick you know?” Should’ve guessed nothing gets past a drug lords #2 in command.

I huff softly as I turn my head in her direction. “Fine. Thank you.” I say bluntly.

Once again her head snapped towards me her brows furrowed in confusion, “why you saying thank you?”

I scoff at her response “god forbid a girl has manners,or are manners too soft for you? You know because your a super strong weapon..melt”

The car suddenly swerved to the left side of the road the breaks slamming as the car reached the curb swiftly the hum of the engine died down as the car turned off. “Right, first of all call me another name again and I will twat you so hard into next week,” her hand left the steering wheel and grabbed my chin once more forcing my head in her direction “okay?” I respond by nodding slowly not daring to say a word, “and second of all talk about that bastard again and I’ll make you beg for him.”

She lets my chin go with an aggressive huff. Her hand landing In her lap as she faced forward. A swirling in my lower stomach emerged from her contact which I pushed down out of routine at this point. Her head lolled back onto the seat as she looked up as if in attempt to calm herself; the blue of the LEDs illuminating her freckles. Her head turned slightly in my direction as I remained in silence.

“What I meant was,” her tone calm and calculated, “what are you saying thank you for?”

I look up slightly to make contact with her deep brown eyes soothing as they were matched with the way she spoke could have lulled me to sleep.

“Oh. Well, for taking me home,” I started matching her tone as best I could without sounding mimicking, “and for giving me a chance to fix what happened on Friday,” her eyes froze slightly as if she were caught in a trap, “whether you meant to or not of course.” I smirk at her lightly as if not to get too big headed.

“You’re not the only one who notices things, you know,” I say unable to control my urges letting a slight smug expression reach my face, “‘noticed her from the party sir’” I attempt to mimic her accent which she rolls her eyes at letting her chest rise and fall with a low laugh.

“Yeah I guess not.” Her response surprised me, breaking the tension that had built quickly. The confirmation of it being purposeful brought me a further sense of gratitude but also an overwhelming feeling of confusion.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you?” I ask calmly. It was a bold question considering she had stuck her neck out for me to feel comfortable about my drunken embarrassment, but I couldn’t help the feeling of not knowing the reason.

“I was actually getting chased if you remember,” she answered with a faux attitude, “and I thought eh two birds one stone; save the gear, don’t get nicked” she shrugged slightly keeping her sight through the front window.

“Well,” i start catching her attention once more “whatever the reason thank you.” I didn’t believe her explanation for a second, and I think she knew I didn’t but neither of us cared. She didn’t move to turn the car on and I didn’t grab my seatbelt, so we sat. The silence brought an almost tranquil feeling in the car. The tension and pent up fear the aggressive words bit back had caught up to me and I let my mind go quiet. I was comfortable in ink’s presence, she had a clear patience compared to the other jimmys, but even now when every inch and ache of restlessness had evaporated away from my body she still held the command and direction of Jimmy crystals right hand woman.

Her head turned to the side of her headrest softly as she waited for me to look in her direction, which I did almost too quickly.

“I know it might be all good with Jimmy crystal; but you need to make it good with shite. He won’t do anything without jimmys permission but he won’t hesitate to fuck you up. He’s a soldier and he loves it more than Jimmima and she’s off her fucking nutter. Even after all the shit Jimmy said to him tonight he won’t falter in his loyalty or turn his head to what happened, you should’ve seen the way he looked at you when you weren’t paying attention.” She finishes her ramble of advice and I can only smirk in response which causes a dart of her eyes away from mine in confusion.

“I don’t think I’ve heard you say that many words before.” I giggle slightly which she scoffs at turning to face the window to her right away from me before looking at me again

“R/N I’m serious.” She almost pleads but in a demanding tone.

“I know, and I will I just need to find an in with him. Can’t exactly throw drugs at me every time I piss someone off.” This earns a real laugh from her which catches us both off guard leaving both of us in a fit of laughter.

“Speaking of shite can we go back to what Jimmy said to him. I don’t even wanna know but fuckin hell it was harsh to hear,” ink shakes her head lowly as she lets out a sigh as if she was fed up “like don’t get me wrong I’m very away of what Jimmy is capable of I’ve seen it on the news but it caught me off guard.”

A small shrug reaches her shoulders “he does it to keep us grounded. Remind us why we are fortunate enough to be accepted in old nicks fist.”

I stare in her direction my gaze falling over her like drops of sun rain, but my head span with questions. Her response seemed rehearsed like a child who had been told what to say to social services to not get them taken away from their parent. A Desperate lie that didn’t sound all that convincing. I couldn’t wrap my head around ink being so enveloped in this madness. Drugs money and murder. That’s what it meant to be a finger of old nicks fist. She was stuck in a brainwashing cycle of fight or fight. I wanted to show her how to be gentle, to be loved.

Her features so soft in the moonlight, like she was honey, golden, glowing. It almost distracted me from the outline of a hand gun in her jacket. She was beautiful. Really nice to breathe in and be around. But she was a warning,a risk and punishment wrapped in one. She exhilarated parts of me I didn’t know existed. Pure sinful blood lusted parts.

I don’t respond but simply look at her eyes catch my mine but this time they don’t leave. We both stay stuck in each others presence. Breathing in and out slowly as I get lost in her gaze.

Suddenly the clearing of a throat cuts through the tension. It had been ink pulling herself out of it, as she turned on the car once more pulling away from the curb.

10 minutes later the car stopped. The rest of the ride had been in complete silence, but I wasn’t complaining the silence had been comfortable this time. Reaching for my seat belt I grab my bag facing her once more “thanks again for the ride and.. everything else.” I say softly as fatigue hit my system like a truck.

“It’s all good.” she responds her tone a little softer than before.

Stepping out of the car and shutting the door I walk around the vehicle towards the pathway when the sound of the window opening caught my attention. I turn around swiftly as ink half hangs out of the window her arm rested on the steering wheel, a look of hesitation on her face.

“Look, we’re having another gaff on Saturday. Jimmy wants you there, so I’ll pick you up at 9. Okay?” She asks but it was rhetorical. I knew I had no choice in the matter either or.

I nod in compliance with a half smile plastered to my lips “okay.” I answer with a nod. She grins slightly before rolling the window up

“I’ll see you then.” Was the last thing I heard before the window reached the top and the engine roared and the Mercedes once again sped away from me.

A long sigh is released from my chest lips as my body ached for the comfort of my bed. I step into the porch and bringing my key to the hole in the lock pushing it in and turning it all the way around. As the pressure resisted my key my heart dropped to my ankles. I had given her roses address. But I’m at my house. I hadn’t given her my address which left two thoughts swirl in my head.

She already knew where I lived. Fuck.

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