#bone temple

Requests are open🫶🏻

Jimmy Crystal

Series:

The Man Beneath The Monster:

Current Status: In Progress (chapters posted daily)

Years before Jimmy Crystal became Sir Lord, he was just a man. A man with a voice he tried to ignore. A man who loved, a man who knew that his delusions were fragility dressed up as belonging. A man who vowed to protect. A man who loved Y/N; years later, that’s the only thing that never changed

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

One Shots

Chapter Three

Years before Jimmy Crystal became Sir Lord, he was just a man. A man with a voice he tried to ignore. A man who loved, a man who knew that his delusions were fragility dressed up as belonging. A man who vowed to protect. A man who loved Y/N; years later, that’s the only thing that never changed.

*****************************************************

Series warnings; violence, cults? mature themes, swearing i guess?torture, rape, canon movie violence. religious guilt? eventual smut, death, mental illness

Previous Chapters can be found here:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Next Chapter here

*****************************************************

15 years after the initial outbreak

Something changed between them after that morning; not in the dramatic sense that suddenly meant anything more than companionship, but there was something softer between them.

Jimmy Crystal had learnt what it felt like to be alone, and the realisation that having somebody else to talk to that wasn’t a voice inside his own mind made him feel almost human again. He sat perched on a log, stick in hand poking at the fire; it had become his responsibility, or at least he’d told himself so.

He watched as Y/N slept, her face contorting in sleep, lips pursed, eyebrows knitting together before she made a small sound of disapproval. Jimmy continued to watch, lips curving into a small, genuine smile as she woke, pushing the hair from her face, groaning before opening her eyes.

The Man Beneath The Monster: Chapter Two

Years before Jimmy Crystal became Sir Lord, he was just a man. A man with a voice he tried to ignore. A man who loved, a man who knew that his delusions were fragility dressed up as belonging. A man who vowed to protect. A man who loved Y/N; years later, that’s the only thing that never changed.

Previous Chapter can be found here

Next Chapter can be found here

*****************************************************

Series warnings; violence, cults? mature themes, swearing i guess?torture, rape, canon movie violence. religious guilt? eventual smut, death, mental illness

****************************************************

15 years after the initial outbreak

The problem with Jimmy was that he refused to leave.

Not in aggressive way, not even in a threatening way, nor a particularly deliberate way. He simply just stayed.

Three days after the service station, Y/N woke beneath a collapsed bus shelter, the rain still lingered, now an ever present drizzle that left her hair frazzled and wild. She woke to find Jimmy twenty feet away, poking at the remains of a fire with a stick.

Her eyes lingered over him, eyes still heavy with sleep. It was then, almost as if he could hear her thoughts, that he turned to her with that same crooked grin,

“Mornin’”

GANG!AU DRUG DEALER! JIMMY INK X FEM!READER

summary: Kelly, jimmy ink; the names collided, solely dependent on who she was around. After not remembering her role, ink has to decide; her devotion, or her life.

Chapter 6: Life is War

I fell asleep. I must have. the obvious hangover lingering in my head didn’t help the fact that I could feel immense pressure around my right eye as I squinted awake; blinded by the light of the early afternoon seeping through the curtains. Turning to my head to the side, I see Rose curled up behind me, usually I would’ve been bombarded through my sleep as her consistent sleep talking kept me awake well after she had fallen asleep most times we shared a bed but she was oddly quiet and still; as if she was preparing for the lack of peace caused by the future post night out discussion. As I sat up, my body struck me with a light spasm in my lower back and across my ribs, causing a light groan to escape me as I swung my legs over the bed slowly; louder than I would have liked.

That’s all I felt, like I was a machine with means to move, not feel. If I let myself feel now I don’t think I would be able to continue, scared didn’t even begin to cover the basis of my emotional state, and therefore it would not be acknowledged not today anyway. Blocking any indication of a buzzing question, any complex feelings. Right now I had to focus on one thing, getting myself to the bathroom for a piss. Baby steps and all that. Moving up off the bed the room span as i lost my footing colliding into the wall next to the bathroom door. Balancing myself once more a gasp of pure horror leaves my body along with a piece of my soul, the noise causing a louder collision as I hear rose fall out of bed and sprint her way to the door frame, leaning on it as with a sigh of realisation.

"Oh r/n...." she spoke with such sympathy; it created a pit in my stomach bringing the reality forward that I could not attempt to hide this from my mother. her arms wrapped around me, her smaller frame giving me the comfort a child gets from a teddy after a nightmare, except this horror was my reality.

A swirl of purple and green discolouration wrapped itself around the swollen crevice of my right eye, lowering down into my under eyes; looking like I had rubbed my eye with a full face of Halloween eye makeup on. Alongside my cheek, a cut in the shape of the edge of a square cut diamond threatened to turn brown as if the faint brown fingernail imprints on the left side of my face weren’t enough. I let go of rose to take another look wincing once more at the sight in front of me, me.

My breath hitches as I turn to rose as my realisation hits me "Rose I can’t let my mum see me like this, I’ll have to tell her what’s happened, and I don’t think I can do it- I can’t she'll freak out I mean rightly so but-"

"Hey!",she says quick to interrupt bringing her hands to either side of my upper arms "okay, plan is you text your mum telling her you’re having another sleepover at mine tonight, say we got too carried away last night and you can’t be bothered making the treck home...then! tomorrow you text her and let her know you’re gonna be home late because were going the cinema to watch that new horror comedy film that just came out, she'll be asleep by the time you get home and then just leave earlier for school on Monday so you don’t run into her; that should give enough time for the swelling to go down."

I looked at her in awe at her ability to conjure up a narrative so quick; having experience from her own parents being so strict it was borderline isolation. "Does that sound good?" she urged looking for any indication I was listening to her and not spiralling.

I nod softly, as I smirk with a shit eating grin "You know they’re called thrillers? Right?"

Rose rolled her eyes loudly, raising her eyebrows at my ability to still be a smart arse; as she took her hands away from my arms she crossed them over her chest in defence, “Or I could kick you out right now and make you walk home if that would make you feel worse!!"

Giggling at her reaction I make my way past her and collapsing softly back into the bed I motion for her to join me which she obliges to as I cuddle into her side.

"Not to be a total Mr obvious but are you okay?" Her hand made its way to the back of my head resting on my hair as her thumb moved up and down, a comfort I had grown accustomed to from Rose.

"I’ve decided I’m not doing thinking about it, for today, I’m too hungover as it is I don’t need to hurt my head more by attempting to process my feelings"

She cackles holding her hands up as if to preach the words I had spoken.

"Fair fucking dos, I fucks with that plan."

"Fucks with it?" I question amused at her expressionism, turning my head with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk that threatened to turn into a smile.

"Fucks with it." Rose responds and reaches for her bedside draw popping two tablet out of the foiled packaging and handing me two pills; not caring what they were I pop them into my mouth knowing they would subside the throbbing I felt in my head.

Grabbing the fumbled-up blanket at the bottom of the bed I bring it up to my neck and close my eyes gently and in doing so reinstated the decision I had said aloud. I would not think. i would not feel. I would sleep and attempt to forget, even if it was for a moment, the absolute ache in my chest in my heart; caving into the why would be a problem for tomorrow.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I just DONT understand it like why are all the girls I go for like always, ALWAYS, evil. I just don’t think I can sleep with anyone else who doesn’t live at LEAST four hours away." i huff biting into another spoonful of Haagen Daz.

It was now Monday night; I had skipped school after waking up from a hellish dream and refused to leave to get ready in time to be alone with my thoughts all day. Though she seemed sceptical I had messaged my mum and let her know I was going to stay with Rose for the rest of the week, making an excuse that she was going through a hard time and shouldn’t go through it alone (I know the irony is not lost at all). my pain had subsided physically with a healthy dose of co-codemal and half a bottle of rose wine within the last twenty minutes of Rose returning home from work. since then, every word that could be spoken had been, I made a fool of the English language and brought shame to a dictionary creating words that didn’t exist to describe emotions I had not felt, or I was not yet able to recognise. Rose had helped me discover the one feeling that was inescapable throughout every why and what if sentence that flew out of my lips. I was used as a means. used.

No matter how many times I had attempted to explain my brain couldn’t comprehend the way to retell the sensuality attraction and intimacy between kell- ink and I before everything had went down. How could all of that happen just for her to allow for me to be a punching bag? Even as the thoughts came to me, I knew I was deluded. I knew who she was, what she was, who she was around her people, and yet, I thought there could be an exception, that I was that exception.

I cursed myself for hours and hours, externally and internally. I couldn’t shake the stupidity of not taking in stride Jimmimas words. Everything felt so rushed it was hard to pick apart what had happened when and what it meant. It didn’t help it was all "old nick" this and that which had caused the side of my eye to throb as I attempted to explain to Rose who old nick was. Jimmy crystal was mad, clearly, but Kelly believed his nonsense ramblings which made me think she wasn’t all there too; but with religion is anyone really? But if she had truly believed him then why would she let me call her Kelly? That single act of defiance, allowing me to be with the real separated from the jimmies version of her, to snatch it away mere hours after.

Rose had ordered us a pizza, Hawaiian, that had allowed for me to take a break from thinking as she filled me in on what had happened between her and shite. Through all the chaos I had completely forgot to ask. Her night had ended like mine, saying similar had caused a flush of further internal turmoil as it further raised my suspicion that what me and ink had done was more than sex, less than love but deeper in connection.

I had theorised while eating my pizza crusts that she was falling. It was a theory that gave me false hope causing any speck of common sense left in my psyche to scream at me to stop but it was clear through the interactions with the other jimmies that some were more devoted than others.

Jimmima had set this up perfectly, gave me false isolation that ink was already putting a claim on me when behind the scenes she was using me to piss off her leader, until it went too far. She had said jimmy crystal would "hurt you to hurt me" and I hadn’t listened. To make it sound like she cared to not give a second glance as I was thrown across the room.

The thoughts stopped momentarily, I had made my way to the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself reflecting from the mirror. The dark purple had lightened to a softer hue of lilac that was a few days away from looking like an overly lined eye bag and not enough water. My hair looked scattered even with my hair washed and my eyes tired. I imagined what my mum would’ve said if she saw me like this, a shell, used as a means by people she would’ve smacked me sideways for hanging around. Furthermore, she would’ve reminded me of my worth, my potential and finally her love for me, how she wants what is best for me and can’t believe someone had done this to her baby. Tears prickled at the corner of my eyes but I force them away blinking quickly as I left the bathroom, turning the light off as I did, turning towards the bed to see Rose fast asleep.

Bless her, I thought as she had probably been more exhausted than me doing damage control. breathing softly I tiptoe to my bag, still placed carelessly in the corner along with my heels and fur coat; the sight made my throat tight which I tried to suppress. Images of the look on Kelly’s face when I stripped down to basically nothing to the way her freckles curved into her dimples when she smiled at me softly before we fell asleep. Picking up the black faux leather pouch I pick out my lighter and a spliff I remember being given before going up to bed two nights before, I think by jimmy jones; most things were starting to blur so details were hard to distinguish.

Taking myself downstairs I wrap myself in Kelly’s hoodie to restrict the night chill from wracking my bones as I opened the door and taking a seat on her front step. taking the lighter to the spliff, I light it desperately. I knew with every line of thought I would be kept awake longer than I should be and thought I may as well relax than spiral. The too and frow of smoke exiting and entering my lungs allowed for my breathing to grow steadier than it had been; which made me grateful I was left with more than one parting gift, always the optimist in the worst of times. The swirl of feelings melted as my body responded to the natural plant, making me wish I was sharing with another person, as I had.

The tranquillity that washed over me like a baptism lasted a moment, my brows furrowed while putting the lighter into the front pocket in confusion, a texture stood out, different from the soft wool of the inside liner of the hoodie my fingers pulled it out sceptically. A confused giggle left me as the THC gave me back some playfulness to my soul.

Opening what seemed to be a folded scrap of paper I squint in the faded light to make out what looked like a long number, a phone number. I scoff as I attempt to rationalise what it could be for as I focus on the note more attentively as my cross fade hit Mr at the same time. Turning the note around I slowly read a quickly written sentence that made my stomach drop to my knees.

I’m sorry, call me when you’re home.

It was a few moments before I allowed my lungs to exhale. When I did finally, my breath was sharp and quick as I brought my knees to my chest. Leaning into my hands my breathing hitched as tears streamed down my face softly against my bruised cheek and eye. All the emotion of the past three days caused a build-up I could only feel in my head; I wasn’t aware I was about to burst but this sent me over the edge. more questions filled me to the brim, and I felt shaken around and bubbled to a simmer that was edging on an atomic explosion.

I was desperate to keep my composure but the reddening in my eyes from heart aching tears still ricocheted onto my lap reflecting off the iridescent streetlight. I couldn’t cope with knowing or not knowing and felt the longer I ignored the things around me, the harder everything was going to be to understand. I knew I wanted answers, but I didn’t think they’d come so soon; it was almost too much.

I wiped my cheeks and steadied my breathing as I stumped out my spliff throwing it in the street knowing some smackhead would appreciate stumbling upon it tomorrow morning. Taking a seat on the front porch I take in a determined deep breathe as I realised I didn’t know the writer of the note. I had assumed the best, that it was Jimmima feeling guilty her warnings came to no effect but maybe it wasn’t maybe it was worse, maybe it was Kelly. If I was to be kept in the dark, I could deal with that but the whiplash from the uncertainty was causing inner turmoil. Who could I trust and who really had an ulterior motive? Was i stupid for trusting anyone?

No, if I wanted to stay level headed the best I could do was keep my humanity, my trust that not everyone was out to get me; because they weren’t. I wasn’t stupid but I made a mistake, walking into the lion’s den and expecting a warm welcome. If I were to maintain this rationality, I needed to change my mindset: no more heartbroken, no more pitying myself. in Kelly’s world I was nice for a night off, in inks world I was a distraction. so that’s what I was going to be; no more no less.

Taking my phone out my pocket I take a deep breath, then letting out a brief harsh cough; the tobacco in the spliff having a delayed attack to my lungs. Eyes watering once more, the screen lighting up my face as I’m face to face with the keypad. Without a second thought (and more determination than I’d like to admit), I dialled the number one number at a time. I knew if I didn’t do it now I’d never have the guts to do it again so i pressed the green circle at the bottom of the screen.

Bringing the phone to my ear, the hum of the phone ringing was consistent, steady and far from the rhythm in my chest. I couldn’t help but feel anxious. This could be a set up. No. I push down that thought with every ounce of common sense left in my head. It didn’t help I had liquid courage from the bottle of wine I had consumed just an hour earlier especially as it left a thick coating on my teeth that if I didn’t brush off soon would knock me sick. Quickly bringing the phone to my face before returning it to my ear I check the time; it was almost one in the morning causing a pang of doubt anyone would answer at this time still I continued to listen to the consistent hum of the dial ringing.

Unexpectedly, on the fifth ring, the other side picked up. My heart pounded in my throat. I go to open my mouth to speak but the words are caught to the point a squeaky noise escapes my lips.

Clearing my throat harshly, maybe too harsh on my throat I greet the other line.

"He-hello," I curse myself for the stutter, I needed to get my shit together; clearing my throat I attempt again, "mmgh hello?"

Silence filled the other line, not as if they were on mute but as if someone was hesitant to speak. I go to attempt to fill the awkwardness of the silence mainly through my impatience but a voice on the other line breaks through first.

"You got my note." to say I wasn’t relieved that it was ink would be a complete lie; the tensity of my body relaxed but there was still this numbness I couldn’t shake.

Letting out a breathy sigh I laugh half-heartedly at her blunt greeting "yeah no I’m good thanks for asking" my lips tensed around my teeth as I tried to bite back tears from pooling in my eyes. all the memories of the past few weeks took over my brain; feelings of pure lust and attraction and further stupidity overwhelmed my senses.

A low huff was heard from the other end the sound I heard too much from inks lips; complete frustration, like that same burning I felt in my room the first night I entered the house of jimmy crystal, feeling stuck.

"Fucking hell give me a chance," she responds defensively making an anger I didn’t know had been brewing start to boil inside me. A long pause filled the call as I heard faint conversation on the other line. This time, I waited, listening in an attempt to make out what was being said; I couldn’t, "look I need to talk to you, in person"

My brows furrow as I talk into the phone as if to bite the words into her skin, "What makes you think I want to see you?" the words were a double ended sword as I knew I wanted to see her, some part of me wanted some form of closure and the other several parts wanted me to fight her, fuck her, stare at her freckled cheeks as she smiles and tell her to go to hell all at the same time, "I’m surprised your being so rebellious to your fat fuck leader, coz I guarantee for a fact he’s told you not to talk to me again."

"Oi watch your fucking mouth, see this is your problem, you’re such a mouthy bitch whatever happened you earned yourself so don’t go blaming me, or jimmy." she bit back harder, it didn’t help that I already knew what she said was true but it stung to realise that some part of me was delusional to believe the sliver of resistance she had to the rule of jimmy crystal meant she was ready to be free from his grip.

I scoff dramatically "Oh please like I don’t know that. I might not be able to blame you for what happened, but you didn’t step in, you didn’t stop it, and then you put a note in the jacket pocket saying you’re sorry and to call you. Fuck. Right. Off. Kelly."

"You’re lucky he was on a come down and didn’t call for charity." her tone is so childish and dismissive like she couldn’t think of any other argument but to turn what I said into advice.

"Oh, I’ll be sure to thank old nick for that next time jimmy is choking me out." My words drip from sarcasm, I wondered how silly I looked as I snarled towards my phone as I spoke, her words grating on my nerves.

A| beat was had that to anyone else would’ve sounded like defeat or a gear up for another insult during an argument. but I heard it. The faint sound of inner conflict in the void of silence, she was debating, silence was her decision making so I edged her forward in voicing it.

"What do you need to talk to me about?" I ask cautiously, calmer than before in my attempt to make myself sound respectful.

"I’m on my way, I’ll be 10 minutes." her response cut through the end of my question as if she made her decision.

"Wait I’m at-"

"Rose's house, I know."

The line on the other side goes with a beeping that mimics the palpitation in my stomach at her words. She’s such a little stalker how the fuck did she know where I was; I silently prayed she didn’t go to my house when my mum was home that would’ve blown my cover and forced me to go home with a hysterical mother.

Taking my phone away from my ear I look at my call log; Kelly’s number didn’t come up. I wondered if she was using a burner phone or one of those international drug dealer lines that the police can’t hack into. Every interaction we had left me with more questions than I started with, this nonchalance stopped tonight I swear I can’t cope with the mystery of it all any longer.

I waited on the porch after getting my trainers on, I had a mini section of Rose's wardrobe dedicated to my own belongings which made it easier to stayover spontaneously, and now allowed me to leave in the middle of the night to meet up with Kelly.

I looked at my phone time impatiently, 1:23am it had been seven minutes since the phone call ended and I could feel my leg bounce beneath me, though more heavily than usual as the spliff still affected my system even an hour later. I realise the time and hurriedly rush back inside rummaging in Rose's fridge to find the other half bottle of wine; realising I was far too sober for the interaction that was about to occur. I could only describe myself in this situation as the purest form of desperate affection, realisation hit me suddenly that every interaction, word spoken, I was acting as an agent to Kelly, a means to see her, kiss her, drink up her affection. I was selfish in a way that separated my ego from my id; my desire controlled me and for once I let it take the reins. Gulping the sharp liquid mouthful at a time I took my original position on the porch once where a more a sudden desire reached my soul, as the familiar black out Mercedes pulled up next to the pavement in front of me.

I laugh lowly as emotion filled my lower neck, only washed away from the alcohol in my hand. hearing the engine roar dull down my head spins to the front door; realising I still had time to run back inside and never see her again. rip the band aid off.

However, that thought was quickly shut off by the sound of a car door shutting, making my head spin back. that oh so heart aching familiar red tracksuit in front of me, the first encounter when she defended me from shite, it being pressed to my neck after I brought the gear to jimmy crystals house and it being sprawled on the floor when she crawled over me and kissed every crevice of my body with complete adoration and desire. Taking the last sip of the bottle, I discard it to my side unaffected by the clank the bottle makes when it hits the ground and walk down the path.

As I walk closer, I take in her face her braids her freckles every part I wish to see in every context but had to suppress, all feelings I forced away are crawling back in a warm embrace; it was more than tempting to fall back into her arms, even if they weren’t outstretched, I still felt edged to do so.

Nothing but the next-door neighbour’s cat alarm being set off rings through my ears as the space closes between us, until there was none left.

Kelly takes a breath as she exams my face, still a purple hue to it where the message I had "earned" still rang through one neither of us would forget, but even so both of us in such disobedience it was exciting, the thought of being caught: me by Rose and her by jimmy. It had to be more than a message there had to be more meaning on not just my end, right?

I was caught off guard by inks hand caressing the side of my face, flinching softly as she did so, her browns contorted in concern, it worried me in a way, a girl who had once seemed to excited and quick to violence in revenge cringing at the effects of similar violence acted upon me. Her rough calloused hand, gentle on my skin I lean into the touch without hesitation allowing myself the comfort of how it feels to be held again by her.

Looking up at her eyes attempt to relax herself but she may as well have been made of glass, "Fucking hell r/n" she mutters under her breath so quiet if i weren’t so close I might not have heard.

"One way to learn a lesson I guess," I chuckle softly as I straighten my stance causing her hand to drop into her pocket smoothly not returning my amused expression, almost too smooth, "It’s all good if not but can we drive around while we talk, I don’t want to wake Rose." I change the topic quickly urgent to be alone with Kelly away from any prying eyes that may have been watching.

She nods softly and responds with a small "okay" as she makes her way to the passenger seat opening the door and shutting it as I sit comfortably in the leather chair that even in the humid night air of the summer didn’t stick to me. What a charmer, I thought holding back an eye roll at the thought of Kelly’s chivalry. Looking around the corner, I further suppress the memories of our first real understanding of each other on the way home to mine. I curse my lack of memory of who drove me home after my altercation with jimmy crystal, I’d rather not talk about it, ever again, I wanted it to go away now, now we were together it would be okay, if it were just us two. the moment it brought up, old nick, "jimmy ink", its back: the wall, the facade. I didn’t care if we had to prepare to pretend in the company of others, right now we were together and alone, I would be an idiot not to take advantage of the peace and quiet of it all.

As I finish my thought Kelly makes her way to the other side and enters the car, looking in my direction, a soft smile lifting her freckled scared lips upward. I missed how her eyes made me feel trapped, like I was under interrogation, like everyone else owed her more than there was worth and I was more than enough and more.

As we start to drive, I can’t help but sneak glances at her, as no words are shared. My half drunken state led to believe she wasn’t aware but deep down I knew she could feel my eyes on her. Her leg bounced when not on the brake of the automatic car and she messed with her braid bead at every red light. 6 minutes of this cycle occurred until we made it to the abandoned car park of the beach next to the swimming centre, I learnt to swim there.

Pulling into a bay, Kelly parks the car facing a sand dune and takes off her seatbelt, which I shortly follow suit with, pulling it over my shoulder with little struggle. Turning to face her soft hardened features I anticipate what she had to talk to me about, but nothing came. She simply looked out the window, relaxed. I was unaware if i should give her a nudge to start the conversation or if she was psyching herself up.

I chose the initiative.

"What is it kell?" I ask softly, almost a hushed whisper.

She turns her head to face me, still rested on the headrest of the driver’s seat, but unexpectedly she smiles, "are you okay?"

I giggle at the unexpected obvious question, leaning my head forward, covering my face with my hair, but her question made me think back to our phone conversation earlier, she felt bad, not guilt but just bad at how she had spoken to me and understood how to break any tension between us. Her smile remained as she watched me giggle softly, however, she clearly didn’t expect for my laugh to grow broader, louder more confused and erratic like a cackle and more amused and controlled than a giggle.

Whipping my hair up I revealed the repeated uncontrollable breathing as before, along with tear stained cheeks along with active tears forming at the brim of my eyes. I watched Kelly’s face drop as she reached for my face on to caress my bruised cheek but I flinched away from her touch causing a tear to fall, her chest heaving up and down in a quick pace as if genuinely hurt by my resistance to her affection: she knew not to give me stupid commands to breathe or calm down and so sat with me holding me, waiting with a concerned stern look.

"Am I okay? Am I okay? I’m scared. I can deal with a lot of shit but this weekend, it’s been too much. I’ve never been battered by someone before, left so vulnerable I haven’t gone sixth form- I can’t risk my mum she'l-"

Kelly focuses more sternly as she cuts off my sentence "Your mum is oblivious; she’s going by business as usual." she finishes by wiping away a tear.

"You’re such a fucking stalker oh my god." I watch her cringe at my choice of word but ignore her reaction, anyway, deciding to focus on the waves of the sand dunes. it was like my body had a mind of its own the way I was so angry yet still so drawn, it dawned on me I wasn’t ready to let go so easily; it didn’t help that I had decided last minute to drink to cope which I think Kelly picked up on almost immediately but chose not to say anything.

Silence swallowed the car apart from the sound of me sniffling into Kelly’s hoodie turning my body turned to the side, refusing to acknowledge any attempt at a response from the girl beside me. Some part of me blamed ink and was angry but there was no clear counterpart to my anger. I held my tongue afraid to say something more, something I was yet to do for as long as I could remember.

"Jimmy says old nick sees something in you," the silence once deafening now broken, I turn back to face Kelly. Her hands were between her thighs as her forearms rested on the tops of upper thigh and her head faced forward, as if I had been interrogating her subconsciously and she finally broke, "He says in false scripture there was a demon that tempted away all the sheep to a false prophet, not old nick some made up man in the sky or something. This demon while "pesky was a helpful beast in the eyes of old nick" he said," her head turned to finally face me, our eyes meeting as I listened intently at her words and attempted to reason with the riddle she lay before me, anticipating the worst that he had now declared war on my heresy and he was coming for me, being the observer she was Kelly explained further in aid to my clear confusion sprawled across my face, "He said old nick spoke to him telling him you are the snake in our path, our pest, but rather than slit your lungs from your mouth we should use you to our advantage," another beat was heard other than the pause between words as I felt my heart in my throat realising what she just inferred, "he wants you to help us with a job."

As she finished her sentence, I feel my face contort into complete disbelief. all of that punching and strangulation. Just to try recruit me to the mad brady bunch.

"Fuck right off," I laugh in inks face as my body fully faces towards her now, "this is the maddest come down i have ever had the misfortune to witness, fuck me." i scoff as i bring my hands to my face straining my eye lids as I pull my hands down my face, my head then snaps in her direction "what’s the catch?" it’s clear the sarcastic tone laced into my voice this wasn’t an agreement but pure curiosity.

"No catch," she took a deep breathe before releasing what was really on her mind, "but if you do this, I’ll be allowed to see you, if you commit to working for old nick for a little while." her tone was so casual it mad my jaw fall another inch further letting my wine breathe intoxicate the car.

Shaking my head slightly I think aloud, mumbling lightly "I wish you weren’t such a good shag." scoffing slightly

"Is that a, yes?" Kelly questions my response with more desperation than I knew was intended, she wanted to hear the words leave my lips again as I knew I wanted to collide with hers again. but I couldn’t. In a moment of clarity, it hit me I couldn’t bring myself to throw away my life, the structure of opportunity and security to get a good life, to feel again. I pushed down my emotion, my lust for her affection and shook my head firmly.

"Absolutely not." I bite back bile that reached the back of my throat, burning my insides as the words left me like venom. I knew what this meant, but it had gone too far, I shouldn’t have let it leave a feeling in the first place. she was a jimmy, a part of a new world religion that revolved around drugs delusions and violence.

I refuse to look in inks direction. I heard a shuffling as ink shifted uncomfortably in her seat, hesitation hung in the air, and it didn’t help the nausea I was feeling. "You know what this means right?" ink asks baffled, like I wasn’t thinking straight hurt missed in with confusion on her freckled face.

Of course, I did, I wasn’t stupid, it means we couldn’t see each other again. a part of me felt a lingering of grief, I wanted something real with ink, I wanted a way of normality the way rose had, a casual fling that had potential for more. I wanted to kick and scream and cry at my reason like it was my mum telling me to go to my room mid argument. But I had to face the facts, the real facts, not some fantasy that plagued my thoughts, this could never develop into anything more. My bruising would help me forget, help me surrender the fantasy, remind me what waited on the other side, nothing but achy discomfort. There was nothing normal about the arrangement in the first place it was completely unattainable to grasp normality as an end goal.

I needed to undo what I had started I need to finish what was yet to be complete. "Yes, I do ink."

I saw inks jaw clench, the sparkle in her brown pools gone as if stolen away from old nick himself. She didn’t hesitate any longer and started the engine driving away. The car ride had an eerily calm silence, deep down I knew she couldn’t expect me to make such a sacrifice of my whole life. she joined jimmy when she had no options and right here right now, I still had plenty of them.

Arriving back in front of Rose’s house nothing was said as I got out of the car and made my way to the front door, the discarded glass on the front porch from my tipsy irrationality. I didn’t look back, and I walked inside. Closing the door a part of my heaviness was lifted but some fear remained, but I was too exhausted to care. maybe one day I could laugh at how stupid I was, maybe I might cry a little every night before bed that I’d never see Kelly again, but I couldn’t lie that as a part of me was relieved I didn’t have to see jimmy ink ever again.

———————————————————————————

READERS NOTE: hey so sorry for all the angst im going through it at the minute and it’s REALLY reflecting in my writing i appreciate all the patience i promise i will try be more consistent but i am human at the end of the day!! Love ya💋

New Blood Splattered Vlog!

This week The Horror Guru & Count Jackula review 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple!

This year's sequel to 2025's 28 Years Later, which puts protagonist Spike up against the satanic cult leader Jimmy Crystal!