this is a reward for showing your world.

A rest day isn't enough. I need one billion years alone in a crystal.

Alarm cock is this anything

they call it a rooster i think

I bet biting cardboard feels good as hell if you're a cat

Many are telling me to bite cardboard & I could but I just feel like it wouldn't be the same because my teeth aren't like a staple remover

That feeling when your nephew calls you gay because you are wearing maroon.

"why is EVERY song about love" I'm begging you to dig just a tiny bit deeper, there's literally thousands of songs that aren't love songs. You don't even have to look for the most obscure underground artists ever, the fucking Beatles of all people have a song about a guy who kills people with a hammer

yeah im good the light has left my world though

Imagine this you’re innocently scrolling through tumblr and you accidentally drop your phone on your face and it hits your nose and slides down your cheek and as you pick up your device and look at the screen you find that with the skin on your face you unintentionally stumbled upon the explore section and accidentally reblogged gaming youtuber shipping fanart and tagged it with the digits of your credit card expiration date and security code as well as your home address and your social security number

you happen upon an ex-tumblr power poster who now lives on twitter. he is 30 (or nearing so), stripped of the eccentricities that illuminated his net presence when he was 19 but none of the grievances. he speaks of his hobbies, which remain unchanged from the previous decade, but with only dim enthusiasm- "was this series always this janky, or am I just noticing it now?" and so on. his vent tweets about work, relationships, friends and money punctuate his timeline in place of what would have been a joke or keen observation a decade ago. the world is confusing and frustrating to him now. things didnt work out like he thought they would. his way of living is calcifying and he worries he's losing the ability to see beyond himself. he comes close to reminiscing sometimes, about his youth, about old internet, about tumblr, before recoiling with embarassment and disgust. and yet, with similar machinations to that of jungian enantiodromia, by attempting to live the inverse of his past, he becomes testament to it. a 30 year old man who navigates life as a 19 year old boy. he feels old, and seeing him makes you almost feel old too. but you know better. you can live forever. you can live forever if you keep posting on tumblr.

I still think one of the funniest experiences of my life was watching American Psycho with my sister and afterwards we both went "okay. Lets do something more lighthearted now" and put on the dubbed version of Howl's Moving Castle and we both lost our minds when we heard Howl start talking

I still think one of the funniest experiences of my life was watching American Psycho with my sister and afterwards we both went "okay. Lets do something more lighthearted now" and put on the dubbed version of Howl's Moving Castle and we both lost our minds when we heard Howl start talking

got called into the living room because "they're talking about something you'll like on tv" and it was a documentary about arsenic poisoning

feels worth mentioning that my response to this was to yell "POISONS??? :D :D :D" and sprint into the room like a dog that's just been told it's time for a walk