⤜ purrrfect ↠

starter for @bvllami !

the lights are dim and ten’s leant over the bar, fingers twisting a small glass, half full. it’s one of his favourite bars - the music always good, and the company of the owner even better. he is, by no means, attracted to women, but that doesn’t mean he won’t jokingly play around and flirt with them when he gets the chance, which seems to be his odd relationship, if you can call it that, with bella. 

it’s another night in which he doesn’t have a client lined up already, and is wondering whether he can find some random, hopeful young man to entice into bed with him so he doesn’t have to spend it alone. he lifts his glass and takes a sip as his eyes scour the people in the bar. people lounging, or standing up wiggling in the most uncoordinated way to the music. it almost makes him laugh. 

“so, how’s thing with you, pretty lady.” he calls over to bella, watching her serve another man. he’s not sure he’ll find a companion for the night here; he might have to go to a nearby nightclub where people are a bit younger and drunker, but might as well start his night somewhere a little more tolerable. 

starter for @mixhimchan !

this is something ten’s used to. seeking people out when he knows they need someone - someone to talk to, to hold, to just be around. he reads people, he notices things, and lately, he’s picked up on himchan’s stress. it could be anything getting to him; ten supposes it’s more than likely it’s job related, but he doesn’t ask, he just takes himself off to himchan’s apartment one night after a stream. 

even if he pretends these visits are all for the other persons benefit, that’s not exactly the truth. of course, his focus is mainly on whoever he’s trying to relieve of stress, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the company too. anyone who knows him well enough knows that the night time is the worse time for him to be alone. that’s when his brain goes into overdrive and drags up images of events long since put behind him. 

it doesn’t mean they don’t still hurt, or haunt him. 

This time he did roll his eyes. To Yixing that was a perfectly acceptable response to the heavy sarcasm in Ten’s voice when he was talking about Yixing’s dancing. “If you don’t like my dancing why do you even bother to stick around? I’m not an idiot you know and that was probably the least sincere you could have said that.” He stood up and turned to face him directly. He really should be a better person and just walk away, but Ten loved to prod and test him and Yixing’s aries side would not stand for it. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just walk out of here and deprive you of the attention you thrive on?”

ten doesn’t like when his play-things are taken away, but yixing always wants to take himself out of these situations wherein ten just wants to have fun. maybe it’s not as fun for yixing as it is for ten, but he wishes he’d just indulge him, and play along instead of getting so upset about simple pokes. 

“who said i didn’t like it?” he responds with a huff and overly exaggerated frown, arms coming to cross over his chest. “because this is fun. playing with you.” there’s a slight smirk on the corner of his lips now. sure, yixing seems to hate these games ten wants to play, and it really annoys ten when he cuts it off and storms away, leaving ten wholly unsatisfied and agitated, but ten can’t help pushing him. 

Starter for @mixkitten

Yixing slumped against the chair breathing hard. That was probably the best workout he’d had in ages. With one of his very rare days off he’d decided to get back to the studio and just let loose. All the stress and anxiety built up from the last month or so melted away to the rhythm of the music. He always felt like he was flying with not a care in the world when he danced. But as with all things, he eventually had to return to reality. The music stopped and he grabbed his water bottle and ready for a much needed drink, only to finally notice he had an audience. Words could not describe how difficult it was for him not to roll his eyes and instead offer a small smile. He’d just gotten rid of all his stress and in walked probably one of the most irritating people he knew. He sighed as he addressed Ten, willing to try and be as calm and civil as possible. “I don’t know how long you’ve been standing there, but I’m just finishing up. Studio’s all yours.” Time to beat feat before things got out of hand and he lost his newly acquired tranquility.

now, ten wasn’t one to hate many people, and in all honesty, what he felt for yixing was very far from hatred. irritation, attraction, something of a mixture of the two maybe, but it always seemed to come out in a way that just seemed to fuel this odd hateship with yixing. of course, ten didn’t mind all that much; he found it entertaining. 

so, when he stopped by the dance studio after some studying in a nearby coffee shop, he was half annoyed, half elated to find yixing there dancing already. he slipped into the studio quietly, leaning against the wall out of sight of the mirrors and watching his movements with some level of scrutiny. yixing wasn’t bad, at all really, but ten wasn’t going to tell him that. ten wanted to rile him up until he exploded, in all honesty. 

HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

47. do you believe in true love?

he sighs, smiling a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he glances off to the side. “sure i do. doesn’t mean it’ll last, or end well, though. maybe for some lucky ones, it does... it didn’t for me.” he shrugs and takes a slow, deep inhale, then exhales, as if trying to rid the ice that had formed in his veins at the memories invading his mind. 

“sometimes i think people have another half somewhere, and not everyone meets theirs, but they can still love someone else almost as much as they’d love their other half... but your other half... you missing piece-” he voice cracks and he takes a moment to compose himself. “your missing piece is different. what you can have with them... that’s true love.”

HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

39. do you regret anything from your past?

there’s a lot of small things ten regrets - like that one time he put a fork in the microwave with his lunch when he was trying to heat it up when he was a teen, or that time he gave a random girl his phone number and had to change it a week later when she wouldn’t stop texting him. but, he assumes the question is referring to far bigger things. in that case - his blood chills.

first he thinks of his dad; would he change his mind about killing him is he could go back? he doesn’t think for long - the answer will always be no. he doesn’t regret killing that vile man. but, there is something he regrets, and even thinking about it, about him stings. “yes...” hesitating, he swallows thickly. “i left someone, without even saying goodbye. if i could even get to go back just to say goodbye, i would... but i don’t even think i could leave again if i went back... but then where on earth would i be now?”

40. do you miss anyone from your past?

his jaw locks, clenching and his eyes closed - each question seems to burn a little deeper. “i’m getting really fucking tired of these questions,” he mumbles, half to himself, “but whatever.” he huffs, shifting in his seat to sit up a little straighter, the frown that has carved itself into his face as the question was posed hasn’t shifted. 

“yes, i miss someone. i won’t name him, but he was... is very special to me. i fucked things up, as usual. i don’t know where he is now, and i think... i missed out on the best thing life every gave me, because i was stupid. it’s my own fault i lost him, but i’m not even surprised. i’m my own worst enemy at this point.” a humourless laugh escapes him, body sagging as he looks off to the side, lifting his hand to chew at his nails. 

HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

42. is something irritating you right now?

“other than you with this question?” he playful quips, very clearly joking with his mischievous smile. with a little laugh, he shrugs, tilting his head to the side as he hums. “right night, at this moment in time, no, not really,” he answers easily. in general, there’s probably multiple small annoyances, but none shine out as the most annoying. 

“i’ve got a couple... tiring clients this week, that’s somewhat annoying, but they pay well so i can’t complain. i have a useless dance partner for an upcoming assessment performance... nothing horribly irritating though.”

HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

7. does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

ten scoffs, “no, not when it’s basically my job - both of them.” spending most nights in a week with, usually, different men, and putting on ‘shows’ on livestream twice a week desensitised him long ago to it all. “i don’t think it should, really, even if i wasn’t in the line of work that i am.” he shifts where he sits, looking off to the side for a moment. “it’s all natural, isn’t it? everyone does it, so why be all shy about it?”

15. favorite part of your daily routine?

multiple things come to mind instantly, “my coffee breaks maybe? i like the few hours i get most days to just sit and work in a coffee shop with a warm drink.” thinking about it makes him crave a particularly sweet warm drink, maybe hot chocolate, or a chai latte, something as sweet as he likes to tell people he himself is. “or on nights when i’m not working and i get to pamper myself a little with a bubble bath and a face mask.”

HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

41. ever broken someone’s heart?

his entire body seems to freeze up at the question, mind racing right back to seoul. he remembers the night he left, blood staining his hands and tears staining his cheeks, and how all that was on his mind wasn’t the father he’d just killed, but him, back in their apartment, no idea that ten was walking away from seoul for good, without even a simple goodbye. his chest aches as he thinks about it. 

“i hope not...” he murmurs, staring at his hands, twisting together in his lap. “i-... don’t know, all i know is i broke my own. did i break another in the process... maybe? i just hope not.” he turns his head sharply to the side, eyes lifted upwards as he hurriedly blinks back tears that had started to prick at his eyes. 

HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

16. what part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

an instinctual frown falls over his features. ten, on principle, doesn’t think about his body - he’s long since realised that thinking about it as something that’s his, judging bits and pieces of it just making him more connected to it, is a bad idea with the line of work he’s in. is the answer ‘all of it’? or maybe ‘none of it’? “i don’t... know.” is his first utterance. 

wracking his brains his frown only intensifies as he tries to think about his body as his, something he can have an opinion on. “to tell you the truth, i can’t think of anything. i don’t know if that means i like everything, or if it means i don’t like anything enough to have a least favourite thing.” he’s uncomfortable, revealing this, especially to sicheng. “not even sure if i think of it as mine anymore.” a bittersweet smile accompanies this comment, and it makes his stomach churn to think too much about.

25. what are you paranoid about?

he takes a lot longer to think this time, knowing there’s probably a clear answer to this if he thinks hard enough - isn’t everyone paranoid about something, after all? eventually, his posture shifts and he sighs, “that one day i’ll lose phoenix, lose everything that i have, and i’ll be all alone once again.” to ten, life doesn’t seem worth living if he’s alone. being alone is the worst thing he’s ever experienced, and he’s not willing to try living like that. 

“i’m already more alone than i’d like to be, and the thought that i could get even more alone, with less people who genuinely care about me and not my body... it’s the scariest thing i can think of. i’m paranoid that everyone will leave me one day, i suppose you could say.” he can’t even smile through the pain this confession lifts to the surface, his frown stiff and cemented into his expression at this point. 

 HEADCANON MEME: accepting !

5. what kind of people are you attracted to?

a half smirk curls it’s way into the corners of ten’s lip, as his eyebrows raise slightly, “men?” is his short answer, but he waves a hand with a soft laugh, relaxing his posture a little. “of course, that’s not what you’re asking though, is it?” attraction isn’t something ten has the same relationship with that other people do - he can’t usually choose who he spends his ‘time’ with like others do with people they’re attracted to, so it isn’t something he regularly thinks about. 

“i’m inclined to say tall guys, but i think i found a short guy attractive once.” it’s hard for him to be completely serious, and open about anything. but, with a reluctant sigh and pinched frown he sags, “someone who makes me feel safe. someone i can trust far more than myself. someone who... has a nice smile, and doesn’t mind lazy nights in. someone who’s exciting, yet stable at the same time. not exactly predictable, but not unpredictable in a bad way. maybe someone who just... isn’t anything like me.” it’s with a sad smile that he finishes speaking, the realisation of all the things he likes in someone shaking him up a little. 

“in the end, don’t we all just like people who make us smile, and feel nice?” 

12. what are your bad habits?

“i don’t have any, i’m perfect.” is his playful response, cheeky smile gracing his lips. “but no-” he shrugs, shifting his posture slightly. “would you say drinking too much coffee is a bad habit? because that’s certainly one of them.” even talking about coffee is making him wonder whether he can fit in another coffee shop stop before work that evening. 

“other than that...” his eyes shift off to stare into the haze of middle-distance, not really looking at anything. “possibly being too dependent on other people to help me sleep better. i guess i should figure out a way to fix my sleeping troubles myself, but it’s just a lot easier to let someone else do it, y’know?” 

14. do you have trust issues?

his teeth catch on his lower lip, gnawing at the plump flesh for a moment as he thinks over the slightly more intrusive question. “to some extent, i feel like everyone does,” he starts. “but i wouldn’t say i have more than your usual messed up person. it’s hard to trust people fully, but i think it’s more the fact that i know better than to trust most people. i trust the right people.” his mind goes right to phoenix, the gang members he calls his family - he knows he can trust most, if not all of it’s members. 

“if someone proves to me they’re trustworthy, then i don’t think it’s too hard for me to completely trust them, i’m just not dumb enough to believe that even the most trustworthy of people can always fuck up in the end. i trust to an extent, but i’m not stupid. you can never trust anyone fully.”

starter for @taexmi​ !

the summer time is always a lot more relaxed, for ten. when the sun sets later, and the light keeps the dark at bay for many more hours, he’s able to relax for a lot longer, let his guard down and just pretend he’s a normal university student. in these summer months he spends the hours between lectures and dance practises ending, and the sun setting, either in the library, working on notes, or writing things for his blog, or he sits in his favourite cafe, gazing out at people wandering by with a nice americano warming his palms as his hands cradle the cup. 

that’s exactly what he intends to do today, as he heads inside the familiar coffee shop, hands, out of habit, clutching at the strap of his bag that hangs across his body. the familiar boy at the counter brings a smile to ten’s lips. he might be one of the reasons this coffee shop is ten’s favourite. taeyong, ten’s self-declared best friend. they’d met through a dance thing at uni, though taeyong wasn’t a dance major, he liked it, and ten liked to watch him dance - ten thinks his best friend is mesmerising when he dances.