Lost Af

Really, thank god for all of these blessings. I’m very fortunate and happy and every adjective to be able to live out my dream. I remember counting down the days I could apply to the program and now I’m in it and it feels amazing. I can’t wait to take this next step in life & it’s nice knowing what I’m going to do after graduation. Lately has been rough, but I’m feeling better. I see things that remind me of you constantly but it’s starting to hurt less. I’m able to see it and not want to instantly burst into tears. You were apart of my life & you made me so happy. I remember all those rants (I still have many on my personal blog) that I wrote about you. Part of me wants to disown it and erase everything since last year but you know I was happy. Also I realized you were the only person I’ve had sex with in the past in the past year ... that’s crazy but can’t say the same about yo ass lmao. Smh. But You don’t make me happy anymore, you don’t want this anymore, so that’s why we are not together. And that’s okay. Because life goes on. *cues the way life goes* but honestly it does, and like I said I want to thank god for these blessings coming at the time they did because it gave me some light when I needed it the most.

you don’t deserve me and I know that ... so why do I still want to cry

I’m like the stage before tipsy, like that stage where the wine hugs you and rocks you to sleep. I should sleep before I breakdown and the wine is still in effect.