I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon
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@mitskey
I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

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HOW’S THAT HOUSE THAT RAISED YOU? - Lev St. Valentine
Winter Stars by Larry Levis
On Seatbelts and Sunsets Hanif Abdurraqib

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An Interview with Richard Siken
parallels of movies with different endings to love:
Amélie (2001)- dir. Jean‑Pierre Jeunet
Rockstar (2011)- dir. Imtiaz Ali
it cannot be fair to punish someone for wanting the presence of company by the absence of it. right?
Hua Xi, from "Night Drive Through My Own Life"
i think i found god in my sock drawer

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me: I’m a homebody i like to stay at home!
the home:
muddles my perception of time
Changes in both size and distance
lulls me into sense of safety and twist it into an oppressive paranoia inducing hellouse-scape
compels me to forget my own autonomous existence
waters down the outside and/ or exaggerate it to mythical extent
shrinks front door perron when i ascend, jarringly draws it out when i descend.
all its windows views are other walls of itself
the backyard fence looms in every horizon
bitter to abandonment of what belongs under its roof, including me when i go out to buy some good ol orange fanta
doesn’t look for me under its roof, it always knows where I’m.
when it sleeps doors never open, i don’t know it’s sleeping schedule
whatever happens silently around the corners is real, my apprehension is valid and understandable, and indeed i should panic.
i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him
Naomi Shihab Nye, “Sometimes I Pretend.” A Maze Me: Poems for Girls
bugs of grief crawling in my bones but i will not be blind to the beauty around me– i will find it

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I will never get over Fang Runin who didn’t have the privilege of having a heart. She destroys her uterus and any chance of having a family and writes to no one in her hometown because she can’t afford to be distracted from her studies the way that her classmates can. The people around her open up about their past and their feelings and she can’t comfort them, she can only tell them to be stronger because that’s all anyone ever told her. She falls in love with someone who betrays her because his whole life’s purpose is creating a future that she can’t exist in. She actively refuses to see her enemies as people because she couldn’t live with the choices she made if she stopped to think. She couldn’t even hang onto the love she had for her best friend, the one person she loved more than anyone and swore to always protect, because she is so consumed by rage and grief and despair that in the end, she kills both him and herself.
The tragedy of Fang Runin is that she was never allowed to have a heart so she stopped considering having one to be a possibility. Everyone around her told her that her life is not her own and no one gave her a chance to be anything but a peasant or a soldier. Peasants and soldiers don’t have the privilege of love and safety and comfort. Rin’s birthright is anger and violence. And that is what kills her.
Free him