subverting the common narrative as a form of survival
i say, “my favourite movie is that one where the monster wins”
& everyone else says, “what? why? don’t think that. pick another one”
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the act of saying “i am still here”
“i am not what you wanted & i am still here”
is also the act of painting a target
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i say, “this hurts so much, there is so much hurt in my bones
i don’t know what to do with this hurt, show me how to cope with this”
they say, “what did you say? speak up we can’t hear you”
i say, “i think i’m dying i think i’m dying i think i’m tearing myself apart”
i say, “i took a blade to my skin because you didn’t give me another option”
they say, “oh look it bleeds”
they say, “that means we can kill it”
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i say, “my favourite movie is the one where i’m still alive at the end”
& everyone else says, “what? why? that’s now how this is supposed to go”
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the correlation between monsters & the subversion of common tropes
the trend of tropes where i am a joke, an enemy, a monster
my existence, which is by definition subversion
say, sometimes what you think is a monster is just scared
say, you cannot kill me every single time
say, there is no power in killing myself just to rob you of the joy of it
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they say, “it bleeds & that means we can kill it”
i say, “i am still here, you want me dead & i am still fucking here”
i say, “you told me to be quiet & so i am screaming”
i say, “i am going to tattoo this target onto my back”
i say, “you have named me monster, so i am going to win”
