Why Nobody Pets the Lion at the Zoo

honestly "oracle that nobody believes" is such a solid trope. imagine trying to convince anybody in 2006 what the next two decades was gonna look like

2026 booktok discourse: sad books are a cognitohazard (they make you sad)

The ideal book is 500 blank pages which act as a safe space that allows the reader full control over the narrative without running the risk of nonconsentually forcing their train of thought or violating their cognitive boundaries

stairs are so funny. falling 100 meters will kill you. solution? fall 10 centimeters a thousand times.

they invented all those neat si prefixes and people still talk like this

falling a hectometer will kill you. solution? fall a decimeter a kilotime.

t-shirt that says ‘I SURVIVED THE GRAIL QUEST. SUMMER 523 A.D.’

the innkeeper tells my valiant and brooding sword-wielding companion that there is only one bed. luckily ☝️ i never go anywhere without my Therm-a-Rest NeoAir XLite NXT Sleeping Pad (size regular/short, 11.5oz)

love the idea you’re not setting this up on the floor inside the room.

when i have a cold-weather sleeping bag and merino base layers?? i have to laugh.

In the meantime, your valiant and brooding sword-wielding companion freezes their ass off in the inn, misplacing a couple vertebrae on what is mockingly referred to as "a bed." Which will probably not help with the brooding for a couple days.

damn I could’ve prevented this if I’d had the foresight to also carry a second Therm-a-Rest NeoAir XLite NXT Sleeping Pad (size large/wide, 1 lb 1oz)