This description of Tony and Carmela’s relationship on The Sopranos is making me screech and reminding me why its one of the best things ever put on tv
“But Tony and Carmela from The Sopranos are also, arguably, the best TV couple ever, because they make being married look as relaxing and enjoyable as being burned alive. That’s how plenty of long-term relationships actually feel: like watching your skin melt off your bones.
Tony and Carmela just can’t do the right thing; they can’t learn any lessons or make good choices, they can’t be kind, they can’t take the high road, they can’t show mercy without regretting it, they can’t be present without feeling vulnerable and exposed. They are a two-headed monster of shame, hideous overgrown babies who are clumsy and hurtful with each other and never grow up. Tony and Carmela were soul mates every step of the way, whether they were tolerating each other or about to get divorced. They were locked together by their fears and by their shame at the gargoyles they had become.
Tony and Carmela make marriage look like a kind of waking death, in which nothing can ever be good again.
Tony and Carmela embodied the pointlessness of believing that Forever Love will save you. They showed us that when you hate yourself and everyone else, you will spend your entire life like a greedy, badly behaved child. Love will not save you, because you don’t know how to love. You can’t show empathy for anyone else because you have no empathy for yourself. Tony and Carmela showed the sheer hell of a marriage between two people who hate themselves even more than they hate each other. ”
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