Miss Lexis Smith

as i am writing this it is 2:11 am, i have just arrived home from a party...... well i just showered. anyway........ a couple months ago i was probably at one of my lowest point... EVER and it really sucked, there was an entire week where i would literally cry like ugly cry. it really sucked.

so why did i cry..? well I'm in my first year of university and ALL my friends had moved away for uni, and me on the other hand. i decided to live at home because i couldn't afford to without being in debt. ( i choose not to be in debit so i could travel on my summer breaks) it was a really hard decision but i thought it would be better for me in the long run. Anyway, during the first month of school i had a hard time making friends and it seemed like i couldn't make any myself, i felt very alone and some days i wouldn't even go to class and lay in bed and be upset... (keep in mind its an hour commute to school) in high school i was the girl who went to the parties and was never ever home. it was funny because my last year of high school my mom would always say she missed me because she never saw me... then she would complain that she saw me too much.

So one day i was SUPER upset i literally just woke up a cried till later that evening, i forced myself to get dressed and go outside for a run, i did and i thought to myself. " this is so not me! I'm the outgoing fun girl i like to go out and meet new people and have fun" running outside in the autumn air made me feel so much better, i decided i was going to put myself out there, make friends and have the best freshman year EVER. 

and i did!

i made a really good friend we go out together all the time, i reconnected with some of my older friends who live in the area, i go to the gym now and I've meet people that way. soon ill be renting an apartment in town close to school. i don't know, I'm happy now...

i guess long story short is that before i didn't let my self be happy, but i force myself because life is about having fun! and if you're not having fun and enjoying yourself what's the point? And if you force yourself for long enough you truly will be happy! Also staying at home first year is a excellent idea, the only reason I'm moving into town is to save time commuting and ill be working.. ( i don't even go to school during rush hour) 

i just want people to know that you don't need to spend a crap ton of money on residence because you CAN still get the university experience!