Missing Miss Jean

“It has been too long since we have posted anything to our blog. Our lives have been hectic as I’m sure everyone can understand and relate to. Hubby and I have committed to each other to start posting more consistently, so, here it is. A bit of a recap on how things have been progressing for us and maybe some background you were unaware of.

Our FLR began around eight months ago, although things have really only started blossoming over the past couple months. In all honesty, when we began our FLR journey, we were not in a very good place in our marriage. We had been attending couples therapy for several months before we came to the realization that something major had to change in our relationship. One thing you must know before we delve too deep is that when we started dating, we had agreed that he would be the dominate partner. I had always been the submissive in all my previous relationships and it felt comfortable for me to assume that role again. As the months past however, it became obvious – at least to me, that my husband lacked the drive and nature to be dominate. For months, we were leaderless, so to speak. And, with no one to lead, our relationship began to fall apart and we became distant. We still loved each other very much, and so the decision was made by the two of us to begin therapy. We had weekly sessions together for months and occasionally, he scheduled private sessions. It was not until I had a session to myself that I realized while talking to the doctor that perhaps, I should assume the role of dominate in our relationship. This, as you can imagine, was a huge revelation for me and, an even bigger one for my husband after relating what the doctor and I had discussed that night.

That’s how it all started, but we didn’t get off to a great start. After doing much research online, my husband was all in. He wanted an FLR and he wanted it right then. I, on the other hand still had my doubts and reservations. What if I hurt him? What if I took it to a place we couldn’t come back from? I didn’t want to hurt us more. It has taken time and it has taken his patients (although, he was not always very patient).

I am happy to report that near the begging of this year, he finally stopped pushing, and allowed me to develop our relationship in my own way. Things are going great and I think, we may be in the best place we have ever been emotionally.

We have set up a list of rules for him to follow, items are added frequently as they occur to me. They include: opening doors and being generally chivalrous, fetching things I want/need (anything from his butt plug to my drinks), keeping his manhood nicely shaven at all times, and so on. He is responsible for all the laundry, all the dishes and whatever other tasks I assign for the day. He has a maintenance spanking session every Wednesday and wears his chastity cage daily. He brings me to orgasm at least once a day (often it is much, much more than once), but he is not to come until his assigned “come day’ which is currently set for March 31st. The only exception to this rule is if I’m practicing ruining his orgasm, which I think I’m getting fairly skilled at. Another rule I’ve set in place which we have not had the chance to implement yet is that on his “come day” he is to clean up his mess…orally. I’m very excited to witness this…is it March 31st yet!?!? We’ve also been practicing anal play using butt plugs much more often. We ordered a few not long ago. I must say, I mentally and visually enjoyed inserting it in him in the past, but the power trip I’m on while knowing its buried inside him and getting myself off while doing it is truly incredible!

We don’t have a dungeon not do I dress up in latex (all the time) so I guess you would call it “everyday female domination.”  We have kids running around, neighbors and friends that we see often.  That didn't stop us. We both worked out how to get out what we want and need through our everyday lives.  

It took the better part of a year to get things set.  To understand different looks or tones in my voice needed to make sure he knew I was in control.  I didn't have to be a whip yielding bitch.  A simple phrase like “The house needs to be vacuumed” instead of “will you please vacuum for me” changes things quite a bit wouldn't you say?  

A few tips to new wife mistresses:

- Neither of you should expect results over night.  Wife should set expectations.  Have him open the car door for you again.  Leave him a list of things to do even when you are home.  This will be a work in progress depending on your everyday lives.  But remember, you can intimate your domination with so little as a simple phrase or look.  If he is getting out of sorts in public, a simple :we will deal with this later” is all it takes for my husband to get hold of himself.

- Begin administering punishments for not doing what you expect.  Spank him!  Yes, Spank him!  If your husband came to you with this, he expects it and quite frankly wants to live under that threat!   And here is the trick; don’t make it a playful spanking.  If you do, he will get in the habit of failing to do tasks on purpose and that removes the whole dynamic.  When he complains it’s too hard, simply tell him that its what spankings are all about.  After you are done though, you both need to hug and tell him why you did it.  Its also a perfect time for him to worship you!  ;)

- Chastity & TD    This is one of the best parts of our relationship.  I keep my husband locked and denied orgasms for long periods of time.  I've found the longer the better - he slides deeper into submission he tells me and begins to feel a strong need to make me happy.  Making him work to get a release and be tough on him.  Every infraction deserves more time in his cage!

In the end, you make this relationship fit your lives as you see fit.  Every now and then you can cut loose and go to town on a more involved scene but don’t expect that to be very often so do the little things; the foot rubs, massages, getting your coffee, etc but dont forget to play with his cage while you are watching your favorite show.  Keep him hard and his mind will be yours.

You are a very lucky woman because your man is willing to give up something he holds near and dear to do nothing but please you.  And by that I mean licking you to orgasm whenever or wherever you want.  It’s amazing!

Wanted to share how I deal with my husband of 22 years.  At first, it’s really odd to have this change in dynamic but ready many article suggesting that the worse thing you can do is to over-think anything.  In most situations, this is the mans fantasy.  If you love him, why wouldn't you want this for him especially for how it benefits you?   Here is how we play

* I set a rule that my husband must give me 50 orgasms before I will let him out of his chastity device.  As soon as i set this, he was practically begging me to let him go down on me.  Use that to your advantage.  YOU keep track of how many because this allows you to count them as you want.  It may be a good orgasm but not a great one so tell you aren't counting it towards the goal you set.

* Give him things to do around the house.  If he doesn't do it or doesn't do it to your satisfaction, deny him pleasuring you when he asks making sure he connects his failure to obey, to getting closer to being unlocked.

*Punish him!  Yes, punish him!  If he is fresh or you don’t like how he behaves or speaks to you, ladies, put him over your knee!  Make him tell you why he is being punished. When you are done, deduct any number of orgasms you want from the tally.  Heck, I saw an opportunity to curb my husbands mouth by ordering him to stand in the corner with a bar of soap in his mouth.  He complained so it was either that or deduct the orgasm count!  he-he

Ladies - this is the best arrangement.  My husband and I have been so much closer ever since we started this.  We are both incredibly happy.  We both have said that we wished he said something sooner.  I very much love my husband and respect him dearly but this is something that he was after so we gave ourselves to it.  I dont think any less of him.  But, it is fun to see him on his knees with his tongue on my pussy or feet.  :)