Missing Charlie

i. january it’s easy to fall back into old habits, but it’s far more rewarding to learn from them. ii. february you are capable of far more than you believe. spend your days breaking barriers you didn’t even know existed. iii. march mortality is fragile; he knew it, and you know it. there’s nothing you could have done to save someone who didn’t want to be saved. iv. april sometimes, you have to take responsibility for things you didn’t do in order to maintain necessary peace. v. may goodbyes are never easy; as your heart is ripped apart, remember they’re headed off to change the world. the opportunities are endless. be excited for them. vi. june don’t be afraid to trust; although others have torn you to shreds, the way he looks at you with soft eyes should make you believe he is different. he’s after your heart; give it to him. vii. july even an ocean between you two can’t stop the love you feel for him. no amount of vodka can drown it; learn to accept your feelings. viii. august it’s okay to put faith in your own judgements. your gut feeling is normally right, so listen to what it tells you. ix. september when you are patient, good things will come. don’t lose hope just because there’s a wait. x. october it’s important to know when to stop waiting and take matters into your own hands. if you want to know the taste of his lips, stop complaining and find out for yourself. xi. november kiss him whenever you can and tell him you love him with your words and without. take advantage of the time you have together because, soon, thousands of miles will separate you. xii. december stop holding back who you are, and allow yourself to be vulnerable for once. it will pay off, dear.

Me, lying dramatically on a chaise lounge chair in an evening gown: Why do the people ADORE me so, Gustav? Is it because I have such refined TASTE?