Promises to Lull the Heart

           the  longer  she  thought  about  it ,  the  more  she  realized  she  was  late  and  that  the  constant  sick  feeling  could  be  something  she  wasn’t  prepared  for .  she  couldn’t  openly  admit  that  she  had  been  fooling  around  with  mick .  while  she  had  an  engagement  ring  on  her  hand  from  another  man .  a total  scandal  and  she  would  be  judged  harshly  for  it  .   a  soft  sigh  escaped  her .  maybe  she  could  for  once  open  up  .  eyes  glanced  down  and  she  pursed  her  lips  for  a  brief  moment .  “  i’m  late … “  she  said  softly ,  looking  back  up  at  the  blonde .  “  i  mean  really  late . “  she  didn’t  know  how  else  to  say  it .  

          a  soft  chuckle  came  from  her  as  she  stared  at  the  blonde .  “ i’d  get  a  kick  watching  them  practically  straighten  up  when  it  comes  to  you  and  a  needle.  “  heidi  replied .  she  watched  as  the  other  leaned  towards  her .   “  not  really  .  typical  stuff .  i  haven’t  seen  them  in a  while  now  that  you’ve  mentioned  it . “ 

A knowing expression formed on her face at the question.  Sam and Dean were out on a hunt and wouldn’t be back until the next day, so they could have this conversation without risking them overhearing.  “You mean, how am I doing with coming back from the dead after being killed by a demon in a fire and coming back younger than my kids and in a completely different millenium?  Well - these days I’m doing alright, though at first I did not handle it well at all.”  

She chuckled with a wry smile, taking a bite of a cookie herself.  “It’s okay if you have some things you want to say or ask, Jess - I won’t tell the boys.  This…is rough to go through and I at least knew about the paranormal when it happened.  Can’t imagine having to process that on top of coming back like you did.”

“Well, could have meant that.” She wasn’t entirely sure she’d meant to open that bag of worms unless the other wanted to deal with it.  She wasn’t selfish, or she tried not to be.  She dragged Sam to enough parties against his will and forced him to interact to have fun, so she could see where she could be seen as selfish.  Breaking off another piece of cookie, she listened for a moment, giving a faint smile.  “I’m glad you’re doing alright now, at least.”  

Mary liked Jessica, liked her quite a bit.  She let out a laugh and pushed the plate over.  “Made ‘em for everyone, so have at it.”

  “Yeah, but that would also be super boring.” The constant change was what made it exciting to her. “Feel free to raid mine, all tiny black dresses are off-limit though.”

           she  looked  up , pursing  her  lips .  “  not  really .  i  just   feel  slightly  sick  honestly .  “   not  that  she  really  wanted to  admit .  the  nausea  and  constant  tiredness  was  getting  to  be  aggravating .  “  it’s  ok  and  thank you .  it’s  probably  the  lunch  i  had .  i’ve  been  sort  of  stressed  lately .  “  she  smiled  faintly .   her  lips  curled  into  a  brighter  smile  as  the  blonde  spoke  more .  “  they  do .  they  actually  look  ridiculous  a  lot  of  the  time .  it’s  amusing  and  perks  up  the  day  a bit .  oh you  and  i  both ! i  enjoy  them . “  heidi  chuckled .  “ so you  put  a  bit  of  fear  in  them  huh? “  the  brunette  winked .  “  i  don’t  blame  you .  they  should  listen  to  you  .  you  know  what you’re  doing . “ 

There’s no doubt about the concern, but she knows enough to push it to the side.  She’d learned the hard way not to push care on acquaintances.  If they were closer, and she hoped some day they would be, she’d be dragging her down to the medical bay to get her checked out.  But no- she schooled herself, making herself stay sitting on the desk.  “Alright-” She had no doubt the restraint was showing in her voice.  “But if something goes wrong, or you feel worse, you let us know.  I don’t want something to go unnoticed.  We need everyone we have.”  That, and she was too caring for most of them she met.

           should  she  just  lie  ?  the  fact  that  she  has  felt  sick  all  morning  and  the  smell  of  coffee made  her  even  worse  weighed heavy  on  her  mind .  just  push  it  back ,  heidi .  is  all  she  could  tell  herself .  looking  back at  her ,  she  grinned .  “  oh  yeah ! i’m fine .  just  tired  and  sometimes  my  head  tends  to  think  about   crazy  stuff . “  she  replied ,  shrugging .  she  placed  her  hands  on  the  top  of  her  desk .   “ ah  yeah .   they’re  a  bit –  more  paranoid  i  think  sometimes .  “  she  chuckled  .  “  oh  i  do .  and  they  think  they’re  hot  at   it .  can’t  help  but  roll  my  eyes  at  them . “ 

“No, I’m telling you they used to be out, now they’re in again. Fashion has changed a lot.” 

Instead, if brought into the hunting world, she’s the one using what she’s learned about medical care- depending on how far she got in her studies- for healing those who are hunting. }

          “  oh  it’s  ok.   honestly – i  could  use  the   work .  just  too  much  on  my  mind  and  it  helps  keep  it  off  things .  “  she  grinned .  she  didn’t  want  the  other  woman  to  get   fired .   it  was  nice  having  another  woman  around  that  she  could  talk  to  .  they  were  women  in  a  men’s  world  practically  at  the  corporation .  “ aha , i  can  imagine! you’d  think  though ,  they  wouldn’t  complain given , they’re  receiving  medical  attention  that  free .  “  heidi  said ,  rolling  her  eyes  playfully .   “  the  newbies  always  give  you the  hard  time .  one  day ,  they’ll  be  thankful .  “  heidi  reached  next  to  her  and  pulled  up  a  chair .  “  you  can  sit  if  you  like .  “  she  smiled  .  “  ouch .  they  need  to  be  careful  more . “ 

“Is everything okay?” It’s the automatic question, while the grin was there, the words were a little more worrying.  Shaking her head at the offer to sit, after all, she was close to it already the way she was leaning on the corner of the desk.  “It’s mostly the oldies that he brought into it, y’know?  The ones that think the government is watching them- one too many hits from the wendigo?”  She chuckled a little at the other though.  “The newbies are young and just end up walking in, full of testosterone and ready to hit on whoever catches their attention.  I’m sure you get that.” 

         “  of  course ! “  heidi  was  too  much  of  a  nice  girl  to  do  anything  like  that  but  lately ,  she  felt  like  it .  “  truth  be  known ,  i  don’t  think  i  could  do  that  but  i  don’t  see why  the  men  can’t  do  this  .  given  , i’ve  been  answering  calls in  between  things .  “  she  brushed  some  of  her  hair  behind  her  ear .  “  thank  you .  that  actually  saves  me  some  time . “  she  watched  as  the  other shifted  her  weight  and  pursed  her  lips . “  well ,  i  appreciate  it .  i’ve  been hearing  it’s  been  a  wreck .  everything  alright  though  with that ?  the  guys  seem  a  bit  edgy . “ 

           she  looked  down  at  the  envelope  and  sighed .  “  yay for that . “  it  wasn’t  the  first  time  she  was  stacked  with  paperwork .   given ,  there  was  always  someone  calling  in  sick .  she  gently  took  it  and  gave  the  other  woman  a  smile .  “  oh  yeah .  totally . i mean  who  doesn’t  love  going  through  medical  reports . “  she  chuckled .  “  thanks ,  jessica .  and  i’m  sorry you  had  to  run  that  down  to  me . “