Muttering to Myself

It’s tough to say the exact cause though. She could’ve been sick of the pack? We had her nicely bundled up but I’m wondering if her mittens weren’t warm enough. Or half a dozen other things that she couldn’t tell us about. Oh well. We got her back inside and toasty by the fire and everything was alright again.

Next time we’ll stay out for a shorter time and I’ll start looking for better baby mittens. It’s not easy to find warm gear for infants. I spent more on her coat and boots than I intended to, because I couldn’t find much that was her size and rated well for cold weather.

I was worried about her being in a strange place and her sleep turning to shit but she’s being a trooper/worn out from all the new people and places and fresh cold air/having a growth spurt/??? and she’s sleeping as well as she was at home. Thank goodness.

She’s been so much fun lately. Babbling da! da! da! She’s an expert crawler and now all she wants to do is practice pulling to stand and smiles so much when she does it.

She’s getting ready to WALK. She’ll hold on to me with one hand and then walk along holding the couch with the other. It’s gonna be soon. We went to the library tonight and she practiced while leaning on the super long window seat they have in the children’s section.

We already know we don’t want to keep her at the p/t place long term but it was the best one that offered less than full time and I need a few days a week to be able to exclusively job hunt. One day with the babysitter isn’t cutting it and is a far more expensive per-day cost. I barely have enough time to get some basic errands done on that day. Plus it’s a good time for her to start easing in. Her spot at the place we’d like her to be full time when she turns one is waiting for her. I don’t love the idea of switching her in a few months but she’ll be ok.

When she has days like she did last week with the babysitter, grips onto my shirt like a barnacle and weeps inconsolably when I try to pass her off? My god I feel horrible. I’m overjoyed she’s clearly bonded to us, but I picture her sad and terrified in daycare and feel terrible.

I know she’ll get used to it. She’ll soon need more enrichment and socialization than I can provide at home. I GOTTA GO BACK TO WORK.

This afternoon, though. As soon as the nurse came in she started fussing. Not into being measured and weighed at all. Got her calmed down after the nurse left and we waited for the doc to come in and then immediate crying. Settled down after she left to go check something, came back 3 minutes later and then bam! Aahhhhh! Aaaughhhh! as soon as the door opened. Dr said a lot of kids get this way right before they’re one year old and stay that way until maybe three or so.

Oh great. That sounds fun.