"and suddenly it's december, and you're not 17 anymore. and you haven't been 17 in a long time, but sometimes you need to remind yourself." because they met when they were 17 and fell in love and felt for the first time that they were not alone, or at the very least that they could be lonely together, that their broken, empty hearts could stitch themselves together to create a whole, beating one. because endgame took place when paul was 17 and it was november and in december they were caught and then he lost julian and julian felt the boy he loved hands around his neck and, not for the first time, felt true fear, but this time it was worse because it was at the hands of the soft and gentle and kind paul who he thought was beautiful, even with all his darkness. they'll never be 17 again. they'll never be two innocent, lonely boys falling in love again. they were boys once, but they aren't anymore. and paul never told julian how beautiful his eyes were because he thought it self evident, he believed that of far too many things. and julian never got to love paul and have him notice he was doing it. they'll never be 17 again, and they'll never forget it.
pauljulian brainrot is active at all times.
