tiny gay

She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Rachel Amber. We could’ve been friends in high school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eleventh grade, I started going out with my first girlfriend Taylor who was totally gorgeous but then she moved to Portland, and Rachel was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Taylor, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an co-ed pool party, I was like, “Rachel, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a bisexual.” I mean I couldn’t have a bisexual at my party. There were gonna be girls and boys there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a BISEXUAL. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so ridiculous. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she completely disappeared on the last summer of high school, all of her stuff was gone and there was no evidence or sign of her, and now I guess she’s supposedly dead or something.

Hello, we’d like to talk to you about our Lord and Saviour, mightiest of all beings.

If you were the hipster and Max was the punk, what would you think?

[chloe voice] why must you kinkshame me in my own house