Godspousing & Self-respect
For this post, I am going to assume a few things:
You have learned discernment and you apply it liberally to your spiritual experiences, so your practice is built upon insight from your gods and spirits. Not fantasies, unrecognized subconscious desires, or other human brain stuff.
You are aware of any mental health challenges you have, and you take steps to separate them from spiritual experiences, so that you're not mistaking mental health issues for contact with the divine.
You're not engaged in godspousing to feel superior to others, nor do you believe godspousing grants you exclusive rights to publicly known deities or spirits. You regularly examine yourself for arrogance and root it out.
Now, how do we respect ourselves as godspouses, in spiritual communities that malign us at every turn?
Who are you granting authority to in your life?
Whose opinion have you decided is most correct?
Is it other people on the internet?
Close friends and family?
The one person who has seen all the hardships you've struggled against, all your personal victories, who knows all your difficulties and strengths... is you.
You are the expert on yourself. Let that sink in.
Internet strangers aren't the experts on you. How much can they see of your character or personality?
Are internet strangers truly making an effort to observe and understand your practice?
Most appear to make quick judgments without noticing the nuances of your practice.
Most probably don't care about the person you are, with all your complex emotions, motives and thoughts. They haven't got time to care.
Why then, when someone says mean things to you about godspousing, would you even listen to their uneducated spew?
Why see them as some kind of authority?
You do understand it's likely that much of the time you're just an object haters use to compare themselves with, so they can feel better about themselves, right?
They're not actually seeing you as a real person with feelings, so they'll not treat you with humanity.
You see, godspousing haters seem to enjoy feeling knowledgeable, so they'll diagnose you (a total stranger) as arrogant, as suffering from "main character syndrome."
Because in so doing, haters can imagine themselves to be incisive thinkers seeing deeply into your thoughts and motives, dissecting what's true and what's "delusion."
Now it's ridiculous to assume a total stranger could understand you to that degree with so little actual contact, yet these people don't appear to care about logic.
Hating you seems to be a thing they're using to prop up their view of themselves, to make themselves feel superior to you.
Ironically, they'll accuse you of the same thing, saying you claim to be a godspouse because you think you're better than them when chances are, you do not.
Another common ploy is labeling godspouses as mentally ill.
Are you actually suffering from delusions?
Even if you were, only a competent mental health professional who's trained in the differences between mental conditions and spiritual experiences would be able to accurately diagnose you, after a lengthy examination.
No internet stranger who reads a few sentences you wrote online and decides they know the inner workings of your mind... has any right to diagnose you with anything.
But admitting that is humbling.
Therefore, godspousing hate is often an arrogant person claiming to know you better than you do, as if they are the authority to which you should listen.
Of course they'll accuse you of the same thing: of supposing yourself superior, of trying to control their opinions, while doing that very thing to you.
Who will back down first?
Who can force another to say, "You are right. I am wrong. I bow to your authority."
Often in online spaces, the majority opinion is lauded as truth, regardless of how "true" it actually is.
Herd mentality labels godspouses as "delusional" or "hubristic" to please the crowd's theology, for their mental comfort.
They don't care how much pain that causes you, because you aren't really human in their eyes.
You're just an enemy to be humiliated, so they can feel correct and superior.
Should you participate in this mess?
Does experiencing disrespect enhance your well-being?
Instead, I suggest continuing your due diligence of spiritual discernment and assessing your mental health as needed.
Then, crown yourself the authority on your spiritual practice.
If that means leaving public spaces where godspousing is sneered at, consider doing it.
Hang out with godspouses who understand what it's like, who live it every day and see the joys and miseries of this spiritual path.
These people have a much better chance of seeing who you are without hatred.
But don't make them your authorities either. Don't let them supplant your place as Expert On Yourself.
Respect your deep knowledge of yourself, your continuing lived experience, your understanding of what it is to be you.
Could you occasionally be wrong about something spiritual?
Certainly! You are human, and we all make mistakes.
That doesn't negate self-respect though.
Receive correction from your gods and spirits when needed.
Admit you messed up, learn from the mistake, and do better.
You deserve kindness, respect, dignity, and positive regard.
That doesn't mean everyone has to agree with you. It's okay if they don't. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
It does mean you have a right to exist as a godspouse without constantly being told how wrong you are, or how bad you are, even when people have differing opinions.
It's your job to make sure you receive decent, fair treatment, in everyday mundanities and in your spiritual practice.
Hire yourself for that job.
You're the best person for it!
