...             so much said and still, aleki didn't feel like forest quite heard him. and the last thing he wanted was to around in circles, while forest fixated on one thing and sweep the rest under the rug. ❝  i asked to keep things casual ────── but did you not just hear me say this isn't even about that arrangement ?   ❞ it was about sincerity. and maybe, he was a fool to ask for some kind of resonance here : the question didn't beg forest to have to pour his heart out, it didn't ask him to give aleki a reason to want to be more just friends. he was only asking for clarity in forest's perspective why they had become this close and physically intimate so easily. he thought the answer would come easy from forest. but he wouldn't grovel at the feet of a man who would just shut him out the moment he asked for some tender candor. ❝  we can be just friends and you can still answer a question, forest.   ❞ but he wasn't going to ask again. ❝  i just wanted us to be more open with each other. and yeah, i wanted some reassurance. i don't care that we're just friends ... i just wanted to hear you say why. just wanted to know what is it about me that makes you want to be here. and if that's blurring a line for you then i'm sorry i asked. ❞ aleki sighed, shoulders lifting in a slight shrug. ❝  but i'm not going to ask you to change. but i'm also who i am, and i can't be somewhere where it's impossible for friends to have an emotional connection, too. and c'mon, if you can't even answer a simple question about why you like being my friend, i don't think you'll find much reason to be more than that with me either. ❞   maybe it was a little dramatic. maybe even a little pathetic. but aleki needed some fresh air, leaving his own lodge to clear his head. he loathed how volatile his emotions could be since his death : but at least he could still be honest about the emotions that washed over him. that was how he knew he was still himself.

@onibeauty

❝  you  have  no  idea  how  hungry  I  am  for  some  meat.  I  really  should  learn  how  to  do  more  than  just  quick  stuff  in  the  kitchen.  ❞  but  that  would  have  to  be  for  a  later  time,  with  mai  already  wandering  over  to  that  delicious  smelling  hotpot.  ❝  so  what  made  you  decide  to  be  chef  forest  today  ?  not  that  I'm  complaining  by  a  longshot.  ❞

aleki thought that he was finally building a bridge here ; a chance for them to be more vulnerable with each other, more intimate than just anything physical. and it wasn't like him to blatantly seek out words of affirmation, but forest's answer to the question only made him embarrassed to have asked in the first place. forest didn't need to say much, but aleki just felt like he got nothing at all. " it's not. " sure, they made an agreement to be casual. to stay friends. but he thought the reasons for them being here, always by each other's sides, was beyond just that. it didn't feel as trivial to him as forest decided to put it. " i don't see you spending time with your other friends as much. fucking them. sleeping beside them. doing what we do. " maybe forest was just waiting for him to show his emotions first ────── but that was just a matter of inevitability. despite all his grief, despite all his burying, aleki could never lie. aleki could never hide the feelings that reached his features. still, a previous flame had left enough to scar his mind. and aleki really did not want to give his all into something if it wouldn't be reciprocated. he swung his legs off the bed, slipping his moccasins on. " i stay because you've been the one who has always here for me. you look after me just as much i do with you. you make me feel comfortable. you make me feel good. " aleki let a tired sigh out as he stood up, shoulders lifting slightly in a shrug, unsure where to go from here. " yeah, we're friends. and it's not even about wanting to be more than just that ... but we don't even talk about things that are going on. what we feel about anything and everything. you can't even tell me what you like about me. " he never really liked superficiality ; no matter what they were. of course, he couldn't just force forest to talk about his emotions. he couldn't just push him out of his comfort. but aleki didn't want to be somewhere so stifled. he was exhausted, but even then sleep would probably not come for awhile. " i'm going for a walk. "

insurmountable ; it was definitely a great word to describe everything that had happened lately. but even then, aleki didn't really think there was a word in any language that could perfectly encompass the weight of his confused emotions. forest had been a great friend, a presence that made everything just a little bit easier ────── but aleki loathed how he always needed to rely on someone else to ease that empty feeling inside of him nowadays. he hated being left alone, he hated not doing anything : interludes only made it easier for his body to yearn for that serenity he felt in rarohenga. and despite his stubborn nature, even his will couldn't save him from that longing. " no. not really . . . " he said, tiredness evident in his voice but sleep eluded him most nights. there was an apologetic look in his eyes as he stared at forest, uncertain what else he needed to be sorry for but that guilty feeling remained. " you know it's really hard for me to talk about what's going here, " a hand placed to his chest. aleki was nothing but an honest man, but that didn't make it easier for him to be vulnerable. to bare his heart and soul to anyone. especially after reid left him. the first time. the second time. " and i know that this . . . between us . . . we're just friends, but will you tell me why you stay anyway ? " an awkward chuckle left him. they might have been friends for awhile now, but something like this was still foreign territory. sure, they connected physically. but dealing with emotions was an entirely different thing. and this was bound to happen sooner or later. " i'm not really the easiest person to like. " or love, for that matter.

there were times that aleki wished he was more intelligent, more methodical ────── so many things happening across the pantheons and yet he barely had any answers. he had never been the brains of the operation, and he never would be ; but it felt like the responsibility for the gecko problem had fallen on his shoulders, especially with reid gone and most people either only really caring about their own pantheons or their selfish whims. and aleki didn't want to be the one to always preach harmony and cooperation, not when he felt fractured inside, too. " are you even listening ? everyone is being targeted, forest. pasifika, shinto, egyptian, aztec, greek ... everyone. " that much was already clear with whiro's attempt to steal xochitl's body, then his, cepos, harlan and electra. and it would also explain why parts of asuka were never recovered, except for some entrails. but aleki didn't mean to snap at forest ; he had always been reactive, but it was harder to sidestep his emotions with all the stress. he closed the book and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a few moments. " sorry. " he said quietly, looking at forest with a weak smile. " being at acoma was a nice break, but the world isn't going to save itself. " and it was barely a break, after losing one of his closest friends while rescuing the red queen. " everything just feels ... " he paused as he searched for the right words, the palatable words, but there weren't any. so, he just grinned. " never mind. "

The fighter approached and took a seat once the last plate had been set. The meal looked appropriate for them. Not too heavy, yet energizing, and Hugo was anxious to try the tea Forest provided. He gave the cup a turn before bringing it to his lips. The flavor was sweeter than he's used to, but still natural. Sat here, soothed by the tea, safe in Forest's home with a full meal before them... Hugo would hold onto this moment.

❝  the  more  I  think  about  it,  it  was  more  like  how  did  the  ark  find  me:  I  may  or  may  not  have  accidentally  created  a  small  set  of  hurricane-level  winds  in  setting  an  example,  but  the  ark  liked  my  moxie  and  asked  me  if  I  wanted  to  help  in  their  crusade.  at  the  time  I  wasn't  exactly  in  the  best  life,  so  of  course  I  said  yeah  !  ❞  what  kind  of  example  they  were  setting  was  a  bit  vague,  though  from  their  tone,  it  sounded  like  it  was  such  a  way  for  a  reason.  regardless,  the  son  of  fujin  seemed  content  with  their  decision.  ❝  so  what  about  you  ?  kiko  come  with  too  or  were  they  already  here  ?  ❞  they  ask  forest  as  they  walk,  crossing  their  arms  behind  their  head. 

he had been following the whispers of the roots underground, still familiarizing himself with the ark but sam was never too lost with the network of roots guiding him to wherever he needed to go. plus, it was a beautiful day and there was no place he'd rather be than outdoors. with his mettle still untested and yet to attend any of the training sessions, samuel almost felt like tourist here ────── sightseeing with a tasty alcapurria in his hand. and he was just about to take another bite when ... a fox ? now that wasn't something he saw every day, especially one that seemed to be kept as a pet. " all good, all good. " a small chuckle as he glanced at the other man, though attention immediately returned to the small fox. as hungry as he was, he couldn't really be mad ; not when the little creature looked so cute. sam sighed lightheartedly before he finally looked up to meet the stranger's eyes, an amused smile twitching at one corner of his lips. " i'd be feral for alcapurria, too. i get it. you can just pay me back with another snack some other time. " he shrugged nonchalantly, there would be plenty of time to make it up to him after all. " no need to be embarrassed. but the blush ... it's kind of cute, i guess. "

what  bit  of  words  might  have  came  were  halted  at  the  reveal  of  who  they  were.  now  mai  wasn't  the  brighest  of  the  bunch  (  no  pun  intended  ),  but  they  did  know  about  all  of  the  gods  of  their  home  pantheon,  and  as  usual  it  was  always  a  pleasure  to  meet  a  fellow  shinto  demi.  ❝  you're  fucking  with  me,  dude:  you're  the  son  of  the  gleaming  lady  of  light  ?  that's  so  badass  man  !  ❞  mai  ignores  the  bow  and  pulls  forest  in  for  a  surprise  squeeze.  ❝  always  nice  to  meet  someone  from  home  turf:  I'm  mai,  son  of  fujin.  pretty  sure  we're  like  related  in  some  cosmic  way  or  whatever,  you  know  there's  a  million  myth  stories  for  our  parents.  ❞  it  was  as  if  the  fox  never  ate  their  ice  cream  with  the  belated  news,  though  their  attention  went  to  the  fox.  ❝  so  is  that  like  a  kitsune  or  something  ?  totally  cool  if  you  ate  my  ice  cream,  mighty  yokai  !  ❞  mai  had  no  idea  that  they  were  in  fact  right  about  kiko,  nor  the  story  behind  the  snow-colored  fox  who  gobbled  their  marblestone-made  ice  cream.