Midnight Company… is not just for midnights though. But there it begins. Well… at first, I’ve had this silent companion, with whom I’ve shared all my times, of goodness and pain. And anger. And many others. It’s a She to me. She, has shared my times, happy and sad. A listener. A very good one, and as She speaks to me, in the way She burns. Slow. Or fast, when winds are too unfriendly. She has many of her type. And She, is always there. She asks me to be. Other times I invite her, between my lips and fingers’ gaps. And in times when they are filled, she shares the the moments, beautifying them with passion. That drag, slowly, watch and hear it burn, and deep down my chest, I let her in. Inside me. She’s beautiful. She’s friendlier than time. And times of loneliness, she keeps my company. But she has become not the only one. She has a friend whom, i, have also invited. Who, too, drips down my throat again. He, fills my mind when I need. My friends don’t like him, for they say they have missed me without him. Shall you know more about Him. Downer..? Not only. Our first time was a runaway. He did not taste that tough back then. He has many friends, too. To whom, with more time, we got introduced. Now a bit more tough. He has been my reason for what I wouldn’t dare do without him, despite my far far daring. He was my bittersweet explanation, for mine wouldn’t have been so friendly. It was easier to flow with Him. And they believed. All but one, who has once been a good friend of him too. I, fell in love. And he loved me too. I fell in love with that smell. Hit my nostrils, and the taste. Having to kiss the glass lips to taste. Shoot it down. The way he dripped down my throat, it burns. And shoots up my head, with full force. Still nice to me. I, have fallen in love with the pain of him turning my inside to the out. Giving back all i had and had not. We, got then so close. No doubt there were times he listened to me too long, longer than I needed. Felt my sorrow so heartily. Or, thundered from laughter, with laughter. That I could even dance alone. We got closer than that ability i push too far. Too often. With a dark caress quenches an obsession with a very self made passion, until I’m quenched to my last over time that seems so endless. Emptied. The moments I felt so sorry for the other companions, for the worry, for having to care too much. But as for myself, I wasn’t so sure how I felt. I loved the sorrow I felt for myself, that I could still do more. And repeat. Refill. But no longer than the flash of lightning have i questioned why I do this to myself. Fill. Empty. And fill to empty. With this very moment of the last drop, that won’t be least, striving to run out, I see moments flooding behind my squeezing lids. It was my physical state that goodly reasoned breakdown. I reached out for him when i was happy. For i wanted to feel even more. I reached out for him when i was not, for i wanted to feel happy again. I, reached for him when my waterfalls couldn’t breakout, for he was the breaker of walls. A few walls that I hardly see. They, burned together inside me. And I welcomed them both. My other ones don’t like them much. My other ones don’t like me much, accompanied. They say I’m no longer like myself. The way I speak and laugh. But they know not enough. They know not of that other universe that speaks what i want to hear. When I can not hear otherwise. When, in my creation of denials, I’m started to get faced while time is not on my side. And i see that look on their faces that I cannot name. Disappointment..? Close to that, I just know it’s heavier than words. And ugly. And they won’t care to know. For who reads between lines that seem, to them, of thin sense. They know not what darkness does. They know know not how the burning feels. And when they know they are afraid. But for the love of my companions, i so have them inside of me. For how they feel. How they make me feel.
snowghoul
theartofmadeline
