Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust

I’ll skip some parts and keep it mostly PTX-oriented so as not to bore everyone who decides to read, but I also want to remember it forever so I’m mainly writing for myself. And, warning, I’m listening to super emotional Sigur Rós, so this could get reaaal fuckin sappy lmao

PTX private performance is something I NEVER thought I’d get to experience. I’d dreamed of it, but always thought it was out of my reach. There was a point in time when I thought I’d never even meet the band. I’ve been lucky enough to live that dream out more than once, and I’m so thankful freaking constantly that I’ve lived those experiences. But PP was something I just never thought I’d be able to experience, and then tickets went on sale, expensive as they were, and I bought them. 5 months later and I lived a dream I’ve had for almost 2 years? I’m so, so happy.

I went with my friend Ryan and met up with my friends Lauren and Ale there, and I’m so freaking happy I got to go with all of them. I’ll fast forward pretty much right up to meet & greet. 

At first we were brought into the m&g room (which had windows for walls and was really bright and relaxing - such a calm atmosphere), and the VIP host Nathan (awesome dude) turned on PTX Vol 3 and those of us who were there just chilled out and waited. At one point there was no one in the room but pentaholics so Ryan and I ran over and took solo pics in front of the photo-op backdrop HAHA. A while later Nathan gave us a little speech about how nice it is working with PTX, and he told us new rules about photo-op (no kiss pictures, the band has to stay in order, you can’t take more than one picture with your friends, etc), and later on (at 4) told us that it was supposed to start at 4 but Mitch & Scott were late so it didn’t end up starting until 4:30 or so (omg). 

The way the room was set up there was an open door where we could see them walk by, and then another door where they actually came in, and as they walked past they waved but Scott looked really tall for some reason until I realized he was on his hoverboard thing, oh my god. We lined up for photo-op and at the front of the line Kate who is such a sweetheart would ask if you’re ready and she was so smiley and cute and UGH wow. I asked PTX if we could do “like a group hug?” (all I knew I wanted for my picture was for Scott to lean his head on mine and I’d heard that’s what gets him to do it lmao), and sure enough I felt Scott lean his head on mine, and then Mitch as well. That was so surreal. The feeling of the boys I’ve been so in love with for nearly 2 years who are so much of the reason why my life is as good as it is now both leaning their heads on mine at the same time, with their arms around me... oh my god. The pictures themselves (they took 4) are so cute, but that feeling is also such an amazing memory. 

Then we lined up again and did the meet & greet at the table, which for me, because I was saving their gifts for private performance, was literally just saying hi and thank you to each member as they signed my poster. Nothing too special happened, although when Avi looked up at me he recognized me and told me it was nice to see me again! I asked Avi to write my name on the poster and he made sure he had Miranda spelled right haha. For the rest of the band it was just quick hi’s and stuff. And although it was a quick exchange this moment confirmed the fact that Scott is the only one who makes me nervous in person haha because when he looked up at me I got butterflies lmao I’m so lame. As much as I’m in love with every member for some reason Scott’s the only one I’m less than relaxed speaking to. It happens every damn time and it’s almost funny actually

Then while the rest of the line met the band I made sure I had all my gifts sorted so it’d be easier to give them to the members in private performance. Then the main group got to go to line-free merch, while 10 of us stayed for PP. We were led through the (completely empty) Staples Center arena, which was FUCKING surreal. It was HUGE. I’ve never been to a venue so big. (I’ve been there for a hockey game when I was in elementary school, but that was a long time ago). Seeing it empty was just mind-blowing. Like... wow. I get chills when I think about it. 18,000 seats and PTX was going to play it in just a few hours? So freaking cool.

We went backstage and it was really neat seeing like Abi Ann’s dressing room and Kelly Clarkson’s dressing room and then PTX’s. The band was already in there, and there were a couple couches but not enough for my friends and I to sit so we stood behind them. I tried kneeling but immediately stood back up because I couldn’t see anything lmao. I recorded the song here, and I was worried I’d be distracted by my camera but I wasn’t even looking at it the whole time. Thankfully the video turned out great regardless. The band basically just said they’d be singing Valentine and sang, and wowwww. I feel like, for me, Valentine is the one song that always brings me back to the way it felt to first fall in love with PTX, for some reason. It reminds me of the Vol 2 tour, and my first show, and the first PTXperience, and the way my life was almost 2 years ago... and it makes me think about how much has changed, mostly thanks to PTX, and everything I have now because of them, and it makes me think about how in love with them I am and how much I’ve loved them for so long. So. Yeah. The fact that that’s the private performance song is fucking amazing. I just remember being in awe and looking at each member individually and just soaking in that these people who’ve changed my life were standing right there singing for us. It was amazing. 

Then, I don’t know what I expected to happen, but the band came TO US. I wasn’t expecting that. Like they stopped singing, it was time for selfies, and all of a sudden Kirstie & Avi walked right to my friends & I. The whole experience was such a blur, because I’ve met each of the band members 1-5 times before, but never all of the band members one after the next with them coming up to talk to me individually. I’d also expected it to be like me and my friends together meeting each member, but it was such a one-on-one experience with each member that like I couldn’t focus on my friends in the room let alone anyone else; I don’t even remember seeing any other pentaholics HAHA. What’s it called, tunnel vision? It was very much like that. And by the time I was done speaking to one band member, there would be another right next to me asking if I wanted a picture. There wasn’t any awkward moment of having to go up to someone, or not knowing who to talk to next. It was just... wow. A blur. Hahah. An amazing blur.

First was Kirstie, who’d just gotten her bangs cut the day before and she was so cute. I’d only met her once and it was at a meet & greet table when she was on vocal rest, and I sat almost-in-front-of-her at the OMWH screening, but I didn’t get to talk to her then, so it felt like my first time meeting her. She’s so freaking precious and nice, and I wish I’d had more time with her. She right away asked me if I wanted a selfie, but I think I told her I had a gift for her, and I gave her the letter and box I made for her (it was a red box with a picture of Olaf on the top and glitter and another picture on the inside), and she seemed to think it was cute and hugged me for the first time! I remember it took me a second to get my camera open and I apologized but she said it was fine lmao. Our picture makes me so happy holy crap she’s so pretty ugH it’s my first-ever picture with her and I love it. 

Then was Avi, and he was so sweet as always and I gave him the collage I made for him, which was the A Cappella Academy logo collaged from paper on canvas board, and he seemed to really like it. I think I quickly told him that I loved the experience and I wanted to do something that related to it. He gave me an awesome hug, and then I stood with him to take the picture, and he asked if I wanted him to do it, and I gave him my iPod, and then told me to stand on the other side of him, and I had to move, LMAO. I love Avi wah. I also asked him to take a couple pictures just in case, and he took one. Lmao. I miss him a stupid amount. I think just because I’ve met him more than any of the others, and he remembered me, I feel “closer” to him even though I don’t know him and that’s silly. But yeah. I wish I’d had more time with him. The exchanges with all 5 were very quick, honestly. But idk if I’ll ever have enough time with any of them ever, so I’ll take what I can hahah. 

Then was Scott, who’d just finished talking to my friends, and I had a whole (heavy) bag of stuff for him (even though it was just a few things), and I remember holding it out for him and him being like shocked omg. There were some Nutella+breadstick things packets at the top and I think the first thing he said was “I see Nutella” lmao. I remember he took it, and he kind of looked like he wasn’t going to open it, and I told him there was stuff on the inside that I wanted him to see, and he moved over to a table to set the stuff down and look through it. I told him the thing on top was for him and under was one for Alex, and as soon as he pulled his out and realized it was shot glasses he went “Are these shot glasses? OH SHIT” and immediately got embarrassed for swearing lmaoo. I think I remember saying “it’s okay” but who knows. His gift was Beyonce shot glasses I handpainted, and after he looked at them he said he’d be using them tonight (and I didn’t tell him because I put a warning on the bottom, but he & Alex can’t even use them for like 3 weeks until the paint is dry enough to wash haha). Then he pulled out Alex’s glasses (Wizard of Oz and Taylor Swift) and for some reason I remember him looking at them for longer than the Beyonce ones. I don’t know exactly what he said, but Lauren remembers him saying “Alex is gonna cry” fml, and he told us Alex would be there in like an hour. He asked me if my URL and everything was on it and told me he’d tweet me, but he never did lmao. Then I hugged him and Lauren gave him her gift for Alex too which was a Wizard of Oz coloring book OMG. 

I don’t even remember what happened next but suddenly I was talking to Kevin. He gave me a huge hug first (he gives the BEST BEAR HUGS EVERY TIME OMG) and then he asked if I wanted him to take the selfie, and I asked him to take a couple just in case and unlike Avi he actually did HAHA. 

Then suddenly I was talking to Mitch (seriously it was such a blur like one after the other and I can’t even remember in-between). HE’S A PERFECT ANGELIC SWEETHEART AND I WILL SCREAM UNTIL MY LUNGS GIVE OUT ABOUT HOW EVERY SINGLE TIME I’VE EVER MET HIM HE IS SO NICE AND MAKES YOU FEEL LOVED AND HE IS SO WONDERFUL OH MY GOD. First I think I hugged him, and he gave me the best squeezy hug which I’ve been hoping for since my last one, and I asked him to take the selfie and he took 3 CUTE photos and I was giggling by the end. Then I told him I had gifts and I pulled them out one at a time, and okay, it’s been my dream to talk to Mitch about Iceland since the minute I found out he likes it, almost 2 years ago. It was a quick moment of course, but the fact that I got to do that is seriously a dream come true. I made him a box collaged with pictures of Iceland (my favorite art project I’ve ever made, literally ever), and first I told him I love Iceland and he said “I LOVE Iceland!” and he was looking at it, and Scott came over to look, too, and then Mitch flipped it over to the bottom and read the Jónsi quote on the bottom “We should always know that we can do anything” and he recognized it and said “I love that!!” Then I gave him the film I bought for him, which is called Heima and it’s a Sigur Rós documentary about a tour they did in Iceland that’s really relaxing and has a lot of Icelandic scenery (every time I watch it I think about how much he’d love it), and he recognized Sigur Rós like “oh my gosh!” and my memory is faint but I think I told him briefly what it was. And then I gave him his letter and the Ritter Sport cornflakes chocolate I bought him and he laughed and said it’s his favorite omg. Then he pulled me into a hug again (pure fucking joy is the best way I can describe that moment) and I was SO HAPPY. Then he was thanking me again and told me he was so excited to watch the movie and I told him it’s a little bit slow, and he told me that’s totally okay and he’d love it.

Then I’d met all the band members, but I noticed in my bag that I still hadn’t given Kevin his gift, so I went back to Kevin and gave him the #swolecheck hat I painted for him, and he started laughing really hard, and kept thanking me over and over, and I remember saying “I’m glad you like it!!” a lot because he KEPT THANKING ME OMG KEVIN, and then was like “you know what, do you want to be on my snapchat?” and I was like YES KEVIN OLUSOLA OMG LMAO. He opened snapchat and for some reason it had logged him out and he was confused and had to log back in, and while he was logging back in I quickly checked if I’d gotten selfies with all of the band members, AND REALIZED I DIDN’T GET ONE WITH SCOTT OF ALL PEOPLE. 

That moment is a fucking blur like the rest of it, but I remember being like “SCOTT! I FORGOT A SELFIE” and rushing back over to him, and turning back to Kevin and realizing I’d just left him without thinking, and he looked so confused OMG that will haunt me forever. But I told him I was sorry and I forgot a selfie and then SCOTT fucking goes “Miranda Renee, the queen of pop” HOLY SHIT. Hearing Scott Hoying say my name out of nowhere was probably one of the craziest things I’ve experienced. I think he read my url on my shot glasses and recognized it, because my full name was also on there and he said Miranda Renee and not my full name... idk, I just think he recognized it and realized who I was on Twitter, but it was fucking crazy for me. I think I said “oh my gosh” or something like rolling my eyes I don’t remember lmao. I had him hold the iPod and he’s handsome as hell in our selfie ahhh

And I rushed back over to Kevin who’d waited for me and he snapped us and I’m freaking obsessed with that photo waH. As a side note, seeing people freaking out to me on Twitter all day was AMAZING HAHA. I was so happy and knowing people were so happy for me was freaking incredible, I was on cloud 9 it was seriously just the best ever. 

It wasn’t until after the snap with Kevin that I realized literally everyone else was already done meeting the band (like my tunnel vision finally turned off) and it was just my friends and I (I think) still in the room with the band omg haha. Oops. We said bye and left, and then we were walked up to the merch booth. While we walked, I heard this deep noise, that didn’t even sound human at first, and then it struck me that it sounded exactly like Avi, and then I realized it WAS Avi haha. That was funny to me, because I couldn’t even tell it was him at first. So, yeah, we like, accidentally got to hear PTX soundcheck. We couldn’t see them, even peeking behind the curtain into the arena, but we could hear them SO LOUD. Avi’s voice was like vibrating my chest, and they were doing bits and pieces from every song in their set. It was so crazy to hear the new songs for the first time live, even though we couldn’t even see the band lol. That was amazing. My friends and I like snapped and danced and didn’t even buy merch. 

Then we had to actually leave the Staples Center, because the venue didn’t actually open for a while. We changed into PTX shirts then, and got (expensive) food right when we went in. Then we found our seats, and they were far back but practically in the center, and I realized I would be completely okay with it if we didn’t get moved up closer for wearing merch. (I don’t think Kate ended up moving anyone closer- there was nothing on ptxsnap. But also, there were SO. MANY. people wearing PTX merch. Like so many it surprised me. I don’t know how she would’ve picked anyway). 

If you know me from Twitter, you probably know how absolutely in love with Alex I am HAHA. I don’t know HOW, in an 18,000 seat venue, I was able to spot him, but I did?! I’m glad I noticed him then, just to see what he was wearing to find him later, because he went backstage after that. Later Ale and Lauren told me to check Alex’s snapchat, and I saw that he snapped the shot glasses!!!!! Then it felt like it happened very quickly, but we suddenly saw him again, and realized he was walking with Jake up the stairs and out into the area where we had our only shot at meeting him, so Ryan and I bolted out to try to find him.

We only had to walk a tiny bit in his direction before we saw Jake and Alex walking RIGHT TOWARD us, very quickly, and my first instinct was to yell out “Alex!” and wave at him, and he noticed me when I was literally right in front of him haha. I think the first thing I said was “I made your shot glasses!” and holy fuck his face LIT UP AND HE GOT SO EXCITED AND TOLD ME JUST SNAPPED THEM and I realized security was escorting him because he was like still walking past us but he freaking stopped and gave me this huge hug and told me how much he loved them and then my next thought was to ask for a picture but instead I was like “I don’t want to keep you” and he told me he had to go and then we separated but OH MAN. Considering I had no expectations of meeting him in such a big venue, and just MEETING HIM OUT OF NOWHERE AND HIM BEING EXCITED TO SEE ME AND GIVING ME A HUG. Ha. Haha. He’s also fucking precious and ranty side note but the fact that people don’t like him because they prefer scomiche to scolex bewilders me? I’ve met him 3 times and he’s a handsome bouncy puppy and I’m so in love with him omg moving on

Abi Ann and Eric Hutchinson were pretty good, no pun intended, and they were really fun in moments but honestly my mind was just racing thinking about PTX. 

When they raised the PTX backdrop, my friends and I all screamed, and then we stopped screaming and I realized LIKE THE WHOLE VENUE WAS SCREAMING AS WELL. OMG. That was surreal. It blows my mind and makes me SO HAPPY that so many people love PTX. I wasn’t expecting so many people there to know let alone love PTX. 

And then PTX came on. My friends and I stood and sang and danced to their entire set, and just. WOW. It was SO GOOD. I don’t know what it was about being in such a huge venue, but it went beyond the feeling of sadness at being so far away (since I’m used to seeing them up close, irl and on screens), to being HAPPY because it was SO HUGE. I thought I’d be bummed that they’re little dots on stage, but in actuality I was ECSTATIC THAT THAT MANY PEOPLE WERE THERE WATCHING THEM. Plus, they had close ups on the screen things, and the close ups were so freaking gorgeous that I couldn’t even complain about them being far away. They just killed it. Scott mentioned how mindblowing it was for them to be performing at the Staples Center, and I was just so freaking proud. But the proudest I was (and have ever been, ever) was hearing Mitch sing Aha!. Something about how LOUD and POWERFUL their audio was the entire time was already FUCKING AMAZING, but then hearing him, little Mitch who was bullied when he was younger and has mentioned having panic attacks and always wanted to be a singer and skipped college to follow his dreams and won the Sing-Off and has become so confident and has changed people’s lives and changed my own life so much and has the voice of an angel and freaking won a Grammy and is touring the world and had just been so kind to me and hugged me so tight..... hearing him hit those HIGH AMAZING POWERFUL ASTOUNDING NOTES THAT I WILL NEVER, EVER GET USED TO, IN A ROOM OF 18,000 PEOPLE, MAKING EVERYONE LOSE THEIR SHIT AND SCREAM AND HOLY FUCK..... something about all of it together, all at once, and the feeling in my chest during that song was un.fucking.real. I’ve never, ever felt so proud. It was amazing. Amazing is an understatement. I’m in love with Mitch, and I’m in love with PTX. And that was freaking incredible. Plus their set blew my mind and the new songs are amazing and there were also moments when Scott totally had the spotlight and was walking down the runway thing and I was just SO happy. They were amazing. I can’t wait to see them in a venue that big when they’re headlining. :)

And then, holy shit. Kelly. I listened to her new album a lot in the past couple weeks, trying to get myself used to the music so I’d be able to sing along and stuff. And I really liked it, and I had a feeling it would sound good live. Holy. Fuck. I was converted to a Kelly Clarkson fan right there on the spot. I had more fun during her concert than I’ve had at a lot of other concerts before. Mostly because it was so enormous, but also because the music was amazing, the sheer force of the sound was amazing, she was amazing, it all just blew my mind. I’m addicted to shows in large concert venues now. It was electrifying. I could go on and on about how obsessed with her set I was. It didn’t hurt my happiness level that we could see Alex in the crowd dancing to her entire set, omg babe. I was just on cloud fucking 9. It was so good. During the Piece by Piece ballad, which I was already looking forward to, she broke down crying, and eventually just stopped singing, and then she told us (unplanned) she was pregnant, and the room EXPLODED. EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING, IT WAS LIKE THE ROOM FREAKING BLEW UP. That was AMAZING. And she was so funny through the whole show, and I never ever wanted it to end. I almost lost my voice that night from screaming and singing so loud. And when PTX came back for Heartbeat Song it was amazing, we all jumped up and danced like crazy OMG, I just remember dancing my ass off and being SO HAPPY. She had PTX start off Uptown Funk, and I remember being like IT SOUNDS SO GOOD PLEASE DON’T GO but they left haha. Anyway, Kelly was unbelievable.

Then it ended, and outside after the show Avi walked right past us but I didn’t notice until he was behind us lol. Then while we were just standing there I noticed Scott, Mitch, Alex, Jake, Jess, and a bunch of their friends just walking past across the street, so we went over to hopefully say hi to them but they definitely didn’t look like they wanted to stop and talk to us lmao, but they waved and said hi to us before going into their restaurant. Then Ryan and I saw Kirstie, Jeremy and Olaf while we were walking to my car, but she was too far to say hi haha.

And that was pretty much everything. The entire day was unreal, and it’s been 5 days and the PCD is still strong. I’m so happy, and so sad it’s over, and a million other things. I’m just so happy and thankful that I got to experience all of it. I can’t wait for whatever might come next in the future. And I’m grateful that once again, PTX are the nicest fucking people on the planet. And that I got to experience it all with some of my amazing friends.