What Are You, Gay?

craig : Ok, well, Clyde convinced me to get behind this trend so.. 

craig : I dunno, ask me shit?? 

craig : I think that’s how this works. 

craig : (this is dumb..) 

Objection!

If you’ll look closely….

Tweek’s Chub is represented by a convex curve at the bottom of his torso to indicate his adorable tummy going over his pants. With Craig, this is hardly the case. The line we see in the image you’ve provided above is more indicative of a prominent rib cage. Given the fact that Craig was measured to be lighter than Tweek while still being taller than all the others, it seems more likely that Craig is, in fact, alarmingly skinny.

while your evidence is compelling, take a closer look!

Here is an image of Tweek and Craig, along with a few handy lines for chub measurement, at the widest part of their bodies! 

With Tweek’s line selected you can see it is only 206 pixels in width!

However! with Craig’s, the width is 231 pixels! Thus proving Craig’s superior chub!

You seem to have forgotten that Tweek vs Craig aired in season 3, while the animation style still had mild inconsistencies! In order for your measurement of chub to be credible, it should refer to a newer episode, as I have done.

We can see here that while Tweek is wearing only a thin button-up shirt, Craig is wearing a jacket! An entire extra level of thick clothing, surely displaying a false image of thickness! Unless their bare torsos are exposed, there is no way to know who is truly thicker.

Furthermore, I would like to call attention to the error in your observation!

This line that supposedly shows Craig’s true width is not aligned correctly with his body! Instead, it shows the width of his sumo pants! This evidence is misleading and false!

I cannot use a newer episode without the thick layer of Craig’s coat in the way, as you have mentioned! However, I have readjusted my previous image here!

but there is no use in your argument, for Craig is now 227 pixels in width, which still beats tweek’s 206!

Even without the sumo pants included in the measurement, Craig is still chubbier than tweek by 21 pixels!

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hallucinations are when you feel/see/hear stuff that’s not really there. Like feeling bugs on your skin when you don’t see any or hearing voices when there’s no one else home. Other people cannot see/hear the stuff you hear because it’s not there.

Types of hallucinations:

1. Olfactory- (smell) When you smell things that aren’t there. Like a food smell when no one’s cooking and there’s no food around.

2. Gustatory- (taste) When you taste things that aren’t really there. Like tasting rotten spoiled food when you just brought and it’s fine.

3. Auditory- (hear) When you hear things that aren’t really there. Like voices when no one’s around and you’re alone.

4. Tactile- (feel) When you things feel things that aren’t really there. Like feelings bugs crawling on your skin when you don’t see any.

5.Visual- (see) When you see things that aren’t really there. Like when you see moving shadows or people in your house when you’re all alone.

It’s got an almost endless range of furniture, doors, windows, stairs etc and is easy to use. In addition to that, you don’t have to install anything and if you create an account (which is free) you can save and return to your houses.

Examples (all done by me):

Here’s an example for how you can use it

Apologies in advance for any spelling errors, I’ll fix stuff in the morning…too tired now…

oh hey it’s a tutorial on glowing stuff I guess…I already made one 2 years ago but I don’t make things glow like that any more :|

…also when I’m manually doing colours I pick things like this as if I was shading.

He comes from a very poor family. His father was an alcoholic who beat him and his mother (he once poured hot tea over her and put her in hospital several times), his brother is a drug addict, he literally built an empire out of nothing.

He credits his mother as his biggest inspiration and often has her cooking in his shows.

When he left his first restaurant he pulled a successful Jerry Maguire - the entire kitchen staff went with him. That tells you what he’s like to work with.

He was one of the first to give a restaurant to a female chef.

He went to prison (Gordon Behind Bars) and taught inmates to bake and they opened a bakery (Bad Boys Bakery) that is still running. He hired one of them when he got out.

He did documentaries about the cruelty of shark hunting and cocaine. (when he discovered cocaine was used by his staff he didn’t fire anyone but made sure they are offered treatment)

His kids are a treasure.

He is always ALWAYS kind to servers.

When one of his partners (Marcus Wareing) wanted to leave they got into a fight and settled it in court, they no longer speak to each other but this is what Marcus said about him after the fight: 

I feel bad that the first association to him for a lot of people is this shouty TV chef when he’s truly a wonderful person. 

Oh and then there’s this:

[insert bowling pin sound effect]

Here, we can put them in my closet, let me just -

oh shIT

Pairing: Creek

Rating: G

Prompt: In which Craig decides to take his relationship with Tweek “to the next level”